Finally, Sleep.

The Mabel Offices of blog-a-licious have been a bit sleep deprived the past few weeks, what with the plague and all that has been circulating amongst the crew, and one particularly ornery 4 month old who just does not appear to enjoy sleep. However, thanks to a few tricks and liberal usage of baby vicks and tylenol, things are on the upswing...imagine, last night, we got two stretches of 5 hours each!! I am, my friends, a New Woman.

Yesterday's yoga class was another reminder that it is almost impossible for me to "stay in the moment"...though I try, it is so hard. Even during the class, its a constant effort to keep my mind on my breathing and my yoga as opposed to obsessing about the following:
1. Having another baby~~how on earth would that work??
2. My career--if you can call it that, what is it?...where will I be in 5 years?
3. The variety of business ideas I have, that I'd like to open
4. Menu items for the indian food stand I want to open at the W.S. Market
5. Back to having another baby~~really, how can a person care for more than one child?? When do you ever have a chance to shower or eat or sleep?
6. Why I never want to visit India again
and so forth...

In other news, I started a class at CSU last week...counseling children and adolescents. Its my final class before doing my internship and becoming a licensed counselor. Thankfully, my child is still an infant, so my anxiety about him, his personality, his future, will be limited. If I had a toddler or an older child, all bets would be off. Its bad enough to reflect on yourself when taking these classes...when I studied psychopathology, I was convinced I had every disorder we learned about.

Finally, I recently got a new book from the library, which can only help the quality of my posts here. "Grammar Sucks!" will surely help me polish up my musings and make them not only more readable, but hopefully, more enjoyable as well! This book is from the author who brought me "Breastfeeding Sucks!" which was hilarious and desperately needed during the early weeks of Baby Taj's life. Look for vast improvements. Notice I said in the grammar, not the quality or interest of the posts. We can only do so much.

Briefly,

i had a double espresso @ 6pm, hence I have been buzzing around doing random spurts of aerobics and cleaning house for the past 2 hours. Just wanted to say, never underestimate the suction power of a dyson - mine just took in an entire sock NO PROBLEM. Like it was a single piece of hair. Had to call Perren in to extract it from the tube to the detatctchable fixture part. Amazing.

I was going to put this on FB, but didn't want to be that person.

What's New

- More tattoo coloring in went down last Friday night - hurt like a wild bitch too, not gonna lie. Anyway, no more sessions until mid March so that I don't have to worry about hot tubbing in PA in March. P and I are going skiing/snowboarding @ Holiday Valley and spending a few nights on the dirt road, hopefully along with our favorite santa fe friends who are currently residing in North Carolina.

- Started boot camp this morning. Did I have to leave the room for the bathroom because I thought I might vomit? yes, yes I did. However I did not vomit, and after a few minute break, some cold water to the face and a few sips off my water bottle, and I was back to the squat jumps and jumping jacks with toe touch.

* side note about my water bottle, big C (blogname i just created for mother of P) looks at the bottom of my bottle last night and tells me I ought to get rid of it as now "they" say that anything with the recyclable #7 in the triangle is bad for you. It's a fucking NALGENE! Every hippy in the world has been rocking Nalgene for years. It's no Sigg, mind you, but those fuckers can't make a safe one either. I could just scream. Or give up water. Bitches.

- anyway, starting boot camp here, i weigh about 7 lbs. less than i did the last time a trainer weighed me, at least 6 months ago. Probably the calorie counting i got into last week, which is also probably the explanation for the dizzy spells I had last week and into the weekend. Not cool. So once again I am faced with the knowledge that I should be eating healthy meals and snacks like 6-8 times a day, a daunting, daunting reality for me. However, I have a whole new understanding of and appreciation for the smaller portion size. If i lose the highest percent of my body weight over the next 8 weeks of boot camp, I win $1,000 - how cool would that be! we shall see, but the woman who won it last year could be me - we weigh the same going in - so thats cool.

I guess thats all I have going on right now. The Hangover is NOT a funny movie, who the fuck am I listening to that gives me these impressions? Zack Galafanakis' (i have no idea how to spell his last name) character is pretty funny but certainly does not carry the movie. DIstrict 9 was pretty crazy, good story, I was really tired when watching it which took away from my experience of it.

More later -

Weekend Update!!!!!!!!!

OMG!!!! We had such a great and full, full, full weekend!!!!
First, TJ didn't sleep at all for 2 nights in a row unless someone was holding him semi-upright in his chair!!!! And then, he was so super duper stuffy~~poor little guy! I'm so lucky I get to be his mom, with the sleepless nights and all, he's extra cute!!!
Then, hubby slept in and went to play v'ball all day!!! So good for him, the bestest hubby in the world, to get out and relax!!!! So mom didn't get to shower until Sunday, but that's whats great about being a mom!!!!!
Sunday, mom cooked breakfast while suctioning out baby's nose so that maybe, just for 30 seconds, he'd stop screaming like someone was bashing his head in!!!! Ha! He's such a sweetie. He finally passed out in his swing so mom was able to poke her eyeballs out and stuff cotton in her ears, to block out future scream fests!!!!
Ate some great stale falafel last night for dinner....YUM-MO!! Its so great to be staying at home at feeling pressure to cook all the time!!!!!!
So that was a whirlwind of a weekend!!!!! On to another week, sure to be awesome with lots going on, especially since mom's cold has morphed into whooping cough and baby still can't breathe through his nose!!!!!!!! YES!!!!!!!!!!

Documentary OD

I got up bright and early yesterday to start my day the yoga way. I was pretty tired due to the new schedule, Perren went to work when I got home so I settled into my favorite spot, in the recliner chair beneath comforter, and cued up some instant netflix. I should start by the fact that I watched Capturing the Friedmans for the first time last week. Thats a pretty fucked up scenario right there, in my opinion because I don't get the impression that Mr. Friedman committed the crimes that he went to jail for. He seemed like a pretty weird guy, with an admitted kiddie porn problem, but I've got to say I am with the defense on the point that there is no way he or he and his son could have abused boys to the extent that it was alleged they did without a whole lot of concrete evidence.

So last night, I first watch Public Enemies, Johnny Depps latest based on the life of John Dillinger. A decent flick, a fascinating life from the 1930s so I read up some on Mr. Dillinger and associates after the film. Then I stumble across something on the instant flix called Off The Grid: Life on the Mesa, a docu about an off the grid community in the middle of the new mexican desert. I can't say that it was absolutely fascinating, but I could not look away. In part because this motley crew lives about 25 miles from santa fe so I was waiting to recognize some hippie or nutcase from my time there ( I didn't). Basically a group of several hundred damaged PTSD veterans, hippies, crack heads and alcoholics who want to live completely on their own terms. They don't call 911, they call 357, as in 357 magnum... yeah.. and some chose to raise their kids here, one single mom who appeared to be approaching 60 (hard living?) with what appeared to be a 2 year old. She, Mom, has a 5 point star tattooed right between her eyes.

Again, I couldn't look away...

Next, I moved seamlessly into Brothers Keeper, a documentary about the 4 Ward Brothers of Munnsville, NY and the court case in which one brother was accused of killing the oldest brother. THESE guys have lived in the same 2 room house their entire lives, they can not read or write, except their names (i think), and they speak in this hardcore rural dialect they mumble which is nearly impossible to understand. They were all in their 60s when the oldest died and homicide accusations were made (in 1990). Its pretty unbelievable how these guys live, and an absolutely heart breaking bit of footage with they shyest, anxiety ridden brother on the stand at the trial - Oh, My, God... Thankfully, its only for a few minutes and the judge puts an end to it. This brother, named Lyman, is the one I most wanted to meet, if only to give him a hug, or at least try to. Apparently, for their entire lives until they became part of a court room media circus, they would wear their same clothes for months at a time. They were dairy farmers, hence, some pungent odors abounding. So maybe a hug would be out of the question. Anyway, the community rallies around the brothers, and they have this neighbor who is just great, I forget his name but he helped them and often talked for them and is/was a smart guy who could see what was going on with all the media and legal whirlwind. He accented teh documentart thru out with comments such as "complete Bullshit" and "what the fuck is that? ,who the fuck do they think they are"?

I kind of want to see Up In the Air, b/c I like me some George Clooney.

Anyway, some weird shit in these documentaries, I sense I ought to take a break, and so the Hangover is next on my Netflix....

peace out, blogalish -

30 is the new awesome

Some things I hope to do this year, let's see if I can think of 30

1. reacquaint myself with horseback riding

2. take karate or tae kwon do classes

3. do yoga on a regular basis

4. lose weight. Originally, I wanted to aim to lose 30lbs. This will never happen, as I love delicious food with a burning passion. 20 would be swell.

5. get the fuck out of the USA if only briefly. If not, then plan trip for 2011

6. Design tattoo for my right upper arm (or my left upper back) that is in memory of my Mom

7. Do something different with my hair - drastic cut or color change, or both

8. Cook new recipes/dishes

9. Spend less money on shit I do not need

10. Make a new friend, or friends

11. scuba dive or snorkel or both

12. get another reading by a medium, perhaps @ Lilydale in New York state

13. Send Xmas cards this Xmas

14. Take more photos

15. Execute #4 to the point where I am happy to be in more photos also . This may sound silly, but it's true! I can not even look at photos of myself, if they are at a "bad angle", it's crazy. I know I shared with V my reaction/ near breakdown when I e mailed my tattoo artists photos of my back. I was all - who is that ? yikes! - a real eye opener, folks. There is a lot of love in these love handles, thats all I am saying.

So there is 15 for you. more to come in a second installment. I started the regular yoga yesterday, with the saturday morning class. The part of my front arm/ shoulder known as the coracoid process is sore to the lightest touch today. I also started yesterday with an app on the i phone called lose it! which I think MAY work better for me counting cals. However, I dunno what on this earth will work better at making it okay for me to limit my calorie consumption to 1400 - me thinks nothing.

Yoga Thoughts

I started going back to yoga a week ago, this time with a new teacher.
This past Sunday, she spoke of something in our class, that really struck a chord with me.

I should begin by saying there was a girl in the class who was new. She had never taken yoga before, and seemed a little nervous. I know her; we went to high school and graduated together. She was always very quiet and we were not really friends, though I would say we were friendly with each other. Mostly, I remember her being very, very nice and quiet.

I didn't say anything to her before class started, telling myself that she wouldn't recognize me. Who knows if she did or not (there were only 7 of us in the class--not easy to be anonymous). Mostly, I hate running into people from my past and making connections with them. Something to do with my thinking about being in "right relationship" with people and how I continually fail at this, and not wanting to really deal with it. Basically, I think its important to be in right relationship with people, but when it comes down to it, I'm kind of a bad friend. I genuinely like and enjoy people, but I'm poor at communicating with them and following through, and those things that make one a good friend. I struggle with this a lot.

So, there she was in yoga, trying to figure it all out. Our teacher is great, though, very supportive and clear and offers good insight as we practice together. During class, she spoke of letting go of our need to compete with others. I think this comment was directed at the girl I know, as she was trying so hard to do the moves right and was observing those around her more than focusing on her own practice (I think). I digress. What mattered to me about the comments was that:

1. I have always thought of myself as being very non-competitive. Truly: I don't like competitive sports, I like to play games, but doesn't matter if I win (mostly), etc.
and then it hit me:

2. I am actually, very competitive, with most people, and that is why I've done so many of the things in my life I'm not very proud of. I've spent most of my life thinking that who I am is not good enough; for a variety of reasons, and only in the last year or so have I become truly comfortable with who and where I am in this life.

3. I do have a desire to win and to be better than others--not always, and not in all things, but this has manifest itself in some odd ways. Like, my suffering is worse than yours. Or my knowledge is greater than yours. Or my marriage, my job, my commute, my cooking skills...but I can't say that my friendships are greater. Because mostly, they are not. And the truth is, nothing about me is greater or less than anyone else. Because, as I thought in yoga, all of these things are just me, who I am and where I am, and they change a lot. Sometimes they are great, sometimes they are less than ideal, but mostly they work for me. And I don't have to compare them with anyone or anything. Because that is not the point.

Now if only all these musings and reflections carry through the rest of the year as I work on letting go of anxiety and worry (something else brought up during yoga, but for a different blog post to be sure). But I'm glad for the insight. I don't think any of these thoughts would really have come to me without having Kai. For me, the perspective of being a mom has really changed how I think about a lot of things. Including, and maybe most importantly, myself.

Its beginning to look a lot like...

I am so flipping excited for Christmas this year!!
I think its a combination of: Kai, being home, everyone coming into town, feeling close w/ family, etc. Its been a roller coaster of a year, emotionally speaking, so I'm also excited that things are winding down. I have a feeling its going to be a long winter, that January and February are going to inspire cabin fever. We will have to actively nip that in the bud (Silk, I'm talking to you here).

Our tree is up, and tho it is small, it is bright. We have almost all of our presents bought! Yeah! I'm about to embark on a wrapping fury, it is also one of my favorite things to do. Who knew?

Well, nap time is almost over...I guess there was no real point to this blog post, other than to share our excitement about christmas, and of course, keep the blogging momentum going :)

To add insult to injury...

My darling son is not a good eater. He fusses, he flails, he gets distracted. I feel I have to trick him into eating. Like, here, son, here is the best thing in the world for you!, so eat it!

Nursing times at my house are quite a sight to see, I'm sure. If I don't catch him right when he wakes up from a nap (an optimal time to nurse, as he is groggy and doesn't know what the hell is going on and by the time he does, he's full), I have a whole bag of tricks to employ.

Sometimes I sing. Sometimes I shushhhhh right into his ear. Sometimes I rock. Recently I've started walking while nursing. I truly, in my heart and mind, did not believe I would be able to do this...walking while a baby latches on to a most delicate area? A baby described by one lactation consultant as a "barracuda", no less, which is an accurate description.

Yet no matter what trick I use, he just does not settle in for those oft-spoke of long and sweet and quiet and cuddly nursing sessions where mom and babe bond so nicely. At least the last month has proved that the pain of nursing does pass, and I prefer not to think about why (two words: tough nipples), and I was hoping that this whole business of nursing would get a lot easier. You know, just plop into my chair w/ my laptop and surf the net while he nourishes himself. This is not the case.

But I can deal with most of this. Yesterday, however, he demonstrated to me that he has a new trick, a new reason for me to dread each time we start the process of feeding him: my sweet baby now knows how to PINCH, and he likes to demonstrate the strength of his fingers by PINCHING ME VERY SHARPLY, repeatedly, during nursing sessions. All while I'm trying to keep his other flailing limbs from striking me, sometimes while I'm walking, or singing, or otherwise trying to distract him.

I swear, the first time I spot a tooth, this is soooooooo over.

In 5 Short Years...

I've been close to tears for much of today, for a myriad of reasons, all boiling down to: life is NOT fair, and it won't be fair, and at some point, I'll have to deal with it.

However, that is not what this blog post is about. Its about the thought that did bring me to actual tears, many of them. I saw an article today on cleveland dot com, discussing the state's idea of requiring day long kindergarten for all kids starting next year. No commentary on that right now either. Though I do have an opinion.

Anyway, while reading the article, it struck me that little T.J. (Taj Jr.) will one day have to go to kindergarten, and in my mind, I could see his little face and his little self sitting in a classroom, with a big smile and let the waterworks begin. I know its many years off. But time has come to have new meaning since I've had a child. Time is fickle; it is fast, it is fleeting, yet the days are so long and lonely. And it actually pains me to think about my baby, who is just a baby, growing up!
I know that I'm at the beginning of a long road and still on shaky ground, not knowing what will come next.

A Visit to PA

We took a quick trip to PA this weekend, and it was beautiful. The weather was great and baby taj seemed to enjoy himself. He really seemed to like the Bob Dylan cd that was played for him during his fussy time while mom and dad sat in the hot tub.

Being in PA brought back all kinds of memories of trips there as a kid and teen. Remember the trailer?? And breakfast at the Bucktail?

I was never one for camping, but think I might like to try it next summer. We hiked to Kelley Pines, and it just seemed so calm and serene...a good place to spend a few days. I can't wait to take baby taj into the creek for the first time!

This is a good movie

Dr. J liked it a lot, I remember watching it with her and wanted to watch it again, it had been a long time since I last saw it. Was better than I remembered - really freaking funny! Every character is laugh out loud funny at some point, except the random hot hunk guy who has basically no character or lines what so ever.

I highly recommend watching this gem, It is really good, cute, and funny. Perren was certain he would not enjoy anything starring Cher and he was wrong - he did like it and cracked up at all of Winona's narrated crazy catholic thoughts.

Fab soundtrack.

Hello in theeeeerrre - oh ( and other tales from my professional world)

I have these clients who are a lovely older couple, they are eastern European immigrants, raised their kids in the Cleveland area and reside here. They go to Florida for the winter. Mrs. V is a super nice, bubbly lady. Very friendly, loves her monthly massage. Mr. V is VERY quiet. He has a video game of some sort that he plays while she is getting her massage (she reads when she waits for him). She gets an hour, he a half hour just on his back (which is like a slab of rock , I tell you, though felt better last week). Mr. V seriously hardly spoke a word to me the first 5 or so times I saw him. He does have a thick accent, but I think he is also just a reserved, quiet kind of guy. Well, Mrs. V's Mom is alive and well in Germany at the age of 93. Mrs.V travels there to see her as needed, and went over in October. Mr.V cam in for his half hour in October, and scheduled another half hour for November (last week). He came in last week and seemed a little friendlier from the get go. After his session, we sat in the waiting area and I asked him when Mrs. V was coming back and should we schedule appointments - Yes, she'll be back Dec 1st. Despite my fearing that the response might be that she has died, I asked about Mrs. V's mom, and he told me that she was doing alright, and was coming home with Mrs. V to live with them. He went on for a bit, and I nodded and occasionally tried to verbally state that I thought this was a good thing. He told me how health insurance for the mom was a concern but the German consulate had worked with them and quickly granted permission for her to come live in the states but German insurance would not be coming with her. A few minutes into all he was telling me about, his eyes filled up with tears, which I noted , and next thing I know he is calmly crying and wiping his eyes as he continues to talk. I figure because he is talking to me about his very old mother in law and his wife who he misses and they are both getting older as well (they are in their 70s). He said more than once " I told her, whatever she wants to do, she told me she wants to tell her mother, whatever you want to do, Mom, so this is what she would rather do (over assisted living in Germany). I am also sure that being without the Mrs. for 2 whole months has left him seriously lonely and needing to chat with somebody. I sat with him for 45 minutes, the last 20 of which were ALL abut the condo he owns in Florida and how they drive down and will drive down with Mom and she will have her own room and bathroom, etc.

I was glad that I had a nice big break to sit there with him. When I did finally say " Well, I should probably switch my table up and get some lunch" He said "Yes yes of course" and we stood. I give all my clients a little dixie cup of water, and he had his empty, I held out my hand and said "I can throw that out for you" and he just grabbed my hand and gave it a squeeze, total old man style. So damn cute.

The following day I had one of my regulars, a woman in her late 50s/ early 60s. Before her appointment when i asked her how she was feeling, she said she felt pretty crummy and proceeded to inform me of her chronic UTI's (Bummer - those suck..) After the session, we sat and I stated that if she wanted to, next time we could try some shiatsu, and told her how the body has a bladder meridian and perhaps it might help and couldn't hurt. Bam - 35 minutes later I have heard WAY TOO much about her bladder surgeries and issues and on and on.

Point being here, that I thought maybe there was something in the air last weekend, but really I think there are always folks who just need to talk to someone. Hopefully, not the same folks all of the time, but we all have those stretches of time and if we haven't yet - well, I think our 60s and 70s will have at least some of that in store for us. It is good to be able to listen to and be a part of these conversations, it makes people feel better probably just as much as a massage does.

Just thought I would share. Makes me appreciate my clients and people in general more so.

On the total other end of the spectrum of my profession, some fucking freak called me 9 times in a 2 hour time frame the other night. I finished a session around 6pm and saw i had missed calls and listened to a voicemail from this guy who saw my ad and wanted to find out about making an appointment. He had called twice and left the one voicemail, so i figured he meant to leave the voicemail and accidentally hung up or something. He mentioned specifically in his message that he was looking for a therapist to do very deep tissue work, trigger point and neuromuscular therapy. I do deep tissue and learned some trigger point work. I have also been doing a lot of deep tissue work lately, and it is hard fucking work, so I was not anxious per say to get this guy in for an appointment. He called my cell again , and i thought that was strange , what would he leave a message about this time - no message - just that and a half dozen more calls between my cell and house phone. I was sitting in my kitchen eating and talking to perren, who had a lot to talk to me about, and the house phone rang twice, my cell then once. I mentioned to P " I've got some psycho calling me for an appointment"

First, P said "maybe he really needs some help massage wise"?

To which I said " ummmmmmm... no.

There is no reason to call so much, not normal. at all. who the hell does that? can you imagine doing that? you leave a message and if i call you back tomorrow, thats the deal"

P got back to what he was telling me about and my cell rang (by the way, the calls to my cell were all "blocked" after the initial 3) P answered it (somewhat compulsively I think, also he (P) was all pissed off and who better to take that out on than some random freak stranger?) I heard his side of the call which consisted of "No, I don't do the scheduling for her, but I spoke to her earlier and I think she mentioned that she got a message from you.....yeah.... usually it may take her say, 24 hours to give you a call back ..... yeah.....OK?

Gonna go ahead and NOT get back to that guy. It can be hard, wanting new clients and all and wanting to give folks the benefit of the doubt, but I learned my lesson WELL in santa fe when it comes to motherfucking ads in publications.. take no chances, listen to thy gut. I did/do kind of want to call him back to tell him that no, i can't schedule him an appointment and BTW, is there a particular reason he called me 9 times consecutively? I thought OCD, but I don't think that makes sense - does it? Maybe, maybe and OCD sufferer. WWGD - What would Grandma diagnose? I think she would say something like "a fucking psycho, DO NOT call back".

I'm going with that.

Awwwww shit -

I have two (2) new posts brewing in my brain for the old blog here, I will try to get them up sunday. I would do it now as I am at home in chair with laptop however, I am watching private practice - in this weeks episode, a midget couple want a genetically designed midget baby so their baby will be like them.

Awesssssooommmeee.

Facebook Etiquette, anyone?

I have done some editing of my FB friends, it seems like the thing to do. You accept the request, have this friend, maybe hide this friend and then x amount of time later you delete this friend because you don't know them from adam and you don't care to.

I remain friends with someone i graduated HS with, we were at CSU at the same time, too, and she is a nice funny girl, but there are some flags here. First off, I saw that the NE Ohio Womens Expo was bringing in kate gosselin as the main speaker, and i was appalled. WTF has she ever done for women or anyone else other than her porcupine haired self? She is a total asshole, that could not be more obvious. I had a conversation , I think with Salexis about how lame this was, and see a bit later that this FB friend of mine is attending and really excited to hopefully meet kate gosselin - yikes - she is "team kate", as they say. Strike 1.

Anyway, now this lady is putting her kids potty training updates in her facebook status, and actually they have been pretty general and just encouraging/excited about her kids progress. Thats cool, though kind of borderline in my opinion. I don't think people remember ALL of their FB friends all of the time when they enter TMI territory in the status update. Of course there are cases like CCB out there, the diagnosably insane with FB accounts and we cant do much about that or their GOD DAMN friends and their god damn comments. Here is the status and comments which inspired me to share -

Status = Potty Training Day 4, Billy went #2 in the potty chair for the first time. Then the dog ate it. Why do these things happen to me?

(Revolting, but kind of funny due to her last comment/question - acceptable for FB? hmmm...)

comment - OMG! Hyserical

comment- if you are what you eat, then your dog is a poopy! (SERIOUSLY, people. seriously)

comment - at least it was the dog, not Billy. Betty ate her own poop when she was 2!

Ok, suburban mommies of facebook, they are called boundaries for chrissake. Eating shit is NOT something the random people that you graduated from high school with want to see in their news feed. Start a fucking group for moms who need to discuss their kids shit online if you really must. Just keep your shit talk and your completely inappropriate following exclamation points off my damn page.

Am I wrong here? Here on the blogalish, I welcome posts and or comments pertaining to your childrens shits. Its all in the tight knit friends/family here. I can comfortably reply with the tale of how my dogs nearly fought over an enormous piece of some other dogs shit the other day like it was a magic candy bar snack.

Oh, and of course 2 people "liked" the status involving billy and the dog and the poopy.

What kind of world do we live in, with our internet social networks and poop talk? It's alarming.

New Post

A Day In The Life...

4:00 a.m....wake to cries, stick pacifier in mouth, pray for one more hour
5:00 a.m....finally realize this is it, day is beginning...grab baby from swing and go to nurse
5:30 a.m....finish nursing, get baby to sleep on chest, get comfy in the recliner, snooze
6:15 a.m....wake to furious grunting and leg kicking of baby...realize a diaper change is coming soon
6:30 a.m....change diaper, hit recliner again
6:35 a.m....realize another diaper change is needed...he does this to me EVERY TIME
6:45 a.m....go downstairs, put baby in lamb cradle, make some breakfast and coffee
7:00 a.m....soothe crying baby who either wants to nurse again or wake up entire neighborhood, not sure of his intent
7:15 a.m....check email while eating oatmeal and holding baby and keeping pacifier in place
7:45 a.m....put sleeping baby back in lamb cradle and check out facecrack
8:15 a.m...put in a load of laundry, brush my teeth, go pick up crying baby
8:20 a.m...start nursing process again
8:40 a.m....wonder if we should snooze again in recliner or...................zzzzzzzzzzz.......
9:20 a.m....wake up w/ bad back ache, this is why snoozing in recliner is not good
9:30 a.m....put baby down to put on some clothes, ditch p.j.'s in favor of sweats
9:45 a.m....realize baby has not had any "tummy time" and attempt to give him some on bed
10:00 a.m...realize baby has not had any intellectual stimulation from mother, wonder why I'm such a bad mother, this is my fucking job after all and I'm failing every day, or so I think...repeatedly.
10:33 a.m....attempt to blog while baby cries in his lamb cradle, which does have a mirror and a mobile to stimulate his mind while I fail to do so
11:00 a.m....watch ER rerun while comforting baby and trying to avoid having him look at the t.v. screen after reading that exposure to screens causes ADD
11:05 a.m...give crying baby a pacifier, then wonder if I'm too liberal in my use of pacifier, so take it out and let baby cry before giving pacifier back to baby after realizing I can't soothe him any other way right now, because ER is on
11:20...attempt to nurse while watching ER, realize child's head control is not where it needs to be for me to be distracted while nursing, debate next step
12:00...calm baby to sleep and repeat morning cycle.

Snippets from my day

This morning (bright and early), we embarked on a memorial bike ride in honor of Sylvia, biking her path from home to work. It was really something to be a part of, well over 100 people showed up. We stopped en route on the silent ride to her work to place flowers at her bike which is chained to a pole @ the intersection where she was hit. At her work place, the director spoke about Sylvia, it was quite moving and sad for everyone there. Then we all biked back to Tremont and disbanded. Couple of things -

JUST IN CASE I had not had enough "that totally could have been me" moments, upon arriving at what was Sylvias new Tremont home, Perren and I realize she had moved into the very same house in Tremont that I lived in the summer before we moved to NM.

Also, absolutely worth mentioning that I saw our boy, the Abbey Market midget starting off the ride, and coming back. As Perren said, we have simply got to get our hands on him.

Also saw Grandma and Grandpa Merugu on their way to the rapid, presumably off to the airport and then Boston. Perren shouted a greeting at them to "have a good trip to Chicago", and we both waved enthusiastically as we zipped by , I hope they don't think we are crazy (I think we were kind of a sight with our posse of 100 in white t shirts and helmets).

I am off to bed now, more later.

JHo, I don't think you are keeping up on the ol' blog here, but if you are, I hope to be able to come hang on the Banks Rd. tomorrow, and my present to you/Kai has finally arrived in the mail, I hope you dig it!

Talk about the Circle of Life

I think there is a good reason why "crazy" is such a common adjective, response, random utterance in the world (or at least my part of the world) today. It is fairly often the only way to describe and or react to a great number of things.

On Sunday, I had a run in around 2 in the afternoon with some random dog walking guy. Actually, Perren , his mom and our dogs had the initial run in with him, in which our dogs startled him and his little dog coming out of Caroles garage. Our dogs were excited by the presence of this little dog on a leash and ran right up, I didn't see it but imagine all the dogs startled each other. The guy saw our 2 dogs and COMPLETELY lost his shit. I heard his screams of "NOOOOOOOO, NOOOOOOOOO!!" and wondered if my dogs were ripping the flesh off of his right before his eyes. No, indeed they were not. His little dog managed to slip out of its collar, and he scooped it up and really, other than everyone being startled, nothing happened. Certainly no dogs were hurt or anything close. This guy refused to acknowledge any of us 3 people apologizing and making sure all was ok, when he was maybe 10 feet away he angrily said "fuck you" without even turning around to direct it at anyone. When we went and got in our car, the guy was down the block and I simply could not let it go, fuck him, was all i kept thinking, and i really wanted to let him know that, so I chased him down and I did. After an obscenity filled exchange, I got back in the car shaking, hating people like that guy (miserable fuckheads), and wishing i had said even more than i did.

We were on our way to stop by a cook out at a friends new place, a group of perrens friends he has known his whole life. We stayed for a bit watching the browns lose and then went home in time for me to get to yoga. At the cook out was a woman I had met once before at a pool party in June, her name is Sylvie and she had moved to cleveland in june working via Americorps. Her best friend is the girlfriend of one of perrens friend and Sylvie had begun dating his brother upon relocating to ohio city. At the pool party in June , Sylvie walked away from the camp fire in the pitch dark and whacked her leg on this metal grate in the yard. She walked back to the house and maybe 10 mins later I went into the house for something to find her crying in the kitchen - her leg had an awful looking wound on it that looked like it hurt like hell, no one realized how bad it was. I went into total mom/ massage therapist mode, felt so bad for her, and told her to elevate her leg while i got an ice pack, then a bunch of stuff from the bathroom to clean it up and compress. Her best friend was out by the fire and came in shortly there after, and save for her i knew sylvie had just met all the rest of us so felt very sympathetic towards her injury and having to deal with it in that social context.

So she was at this cook out Sunday, and then she was at the yoga class I went to, we said hello and kind of laughed as we had just been at the same cook out an hour earlier.

I'm getting things all intertwined here but my first point was to illustrate the extremes of going, on Sunday from cursing at a man on the street in front of johnny mangos patio patrons to my first yoga class in over 3 weeks, trying to let go of all the anger and rage of the first incident.

Then getting home from yoga sunday, I got word that Jho was having her baby and soon. Then , come Monday I had the privilage of being present while baby merugu entered the world - the miracle of child birth.

This afternoon, perren and i ran into a friend while taking a walk, he told us that Sylvie was killed this morning on her way to work in downtown. She was on her bicycle and was hit by a truck. She was 22, had graduated from Yale earlier this year. I was of course shocked and saddened to hear this as was Perren. I did not know her at all having only met her twice. I found myself wishing I'd been friendlier at yoga on sunday. Of course, thinking a lot about the people here who did get to know her well, and her best friend here, all people perren knows better than I. I am glad that they are a tight knit group of such close friends to deal with this experience together, and while I am not inclined to seek anybody out or interject myself they will continue to be in my thoughts. I expect something will occur in Cleveland in honor of Sylvie and I would certainly join in that.

There are a number of young people that I've known in some context who have died so young, and I think of them from time to time. I tend to think of them all as this group, and have even thought of writing something about them all, the very very little I knew of them. There is Mahdi Abdul Rashid, who was in many of my classes in middle school and my first year of high schoool, i had quite a crush on him, he was very handsome. At some point in high school he started selling weed, and when he was found murdered in the trunk of a car during senior year, I remember people who knew him better commenting that he may have been into things far more sinister than anyone was aware of. There is Mindy Biggins who I went through 3 years of high school with always pleasantly greeting each other but never much beyond that (i did really like her though, which is true of so few of the girls in my high school). She was engaged and working as a kindergarten teacher after college and took her own life by jumping off of the Fairview bridge that goes over the metroparks. There was another girl named Erin who transfered into my high school class for about a month and then hung herself in the attic of her home. I try to imagine both Mindy and Erin and what they were feeling when they decided what they did, and while I have had some glimpses of despair, depression and low lows, I am not able to imagine it, not quite. There was another girl in my HS class, Holly, who died a few years ago when she was in her early 20s. She was always sick, I think, I don't know what with, but she was a very nice sweet girl, and smart, and I don't think I ever spoke to her once.

In college, my roomate had a friend named Sri, they were from the same town in CA. Sri graduated one year before I did, and after her graduation day she went to a party on campus and left by herself to walk home and was hit and killed on an otherwise traffic less street by a speeding car that did not stop. I think about these people in this group in my mind, and i find it weird that i think of them at all, yet I'm glad that I do, and I did think many times about writing about them because then it feels like I am acknowledging them outside of just my weird brain, so maybe that is what I just did, remember them, just because I do, and I know they all left behind families and loved ones who remember them every day.

Of course I think of my friend Jessica, and my Mom, but in way very different to this group of people who were on the peripheral of my life in one way or another.

I understand completely that life is short, we have no idea what is ahead of us, and it's important to both enjoy our time here and to DO something good. I struggle with both of these mandates, as I imagine lots of people do. I can't enjoy every moment or every day for that matter because some of them just plain suck. Perhaps we set ourselves up for that, we don't live quite right - we've come a long way from the natural flow of things and a long way from what our priorities ought to be.

It's also hard to feel as though I am doing all the I can to contribute to the world and the whole human family, and sometimes it is hard to even try or give a fuck when I learn of all the crazy stupid right wing shit that is going down everyday. I suppose we all do what we can, try to do no harm, and chose our battles while remembering to focus on the joys of life - the big and the small, the on going and the short lived.

So Good Bye Sylvia Bingham,

Hello Kailash Merugu,

and we should all strive to be kind to every person we meet, including miserable fuck heads with little dogs, because you just never ever know what is ahead

this is hilarious

had my Mom lived to her 70's, you bet your ass I would have published a book (or perhaps just ran a website) of the things that she said.

My personal favorite on here is the one about "your brother brought his baby over this morning. He said it could stand. Couldn't stand for shit. Just sat there. Big let down"

Buzzed

not in the traditional sense.

I saw a good friend of mine over my birthday weekend (aka labor day weekend for the rest of the country minus JHM), she is one to offer lots of commentary on her experiences, etc. and she tends to be a healthy lady who takes good care of herself. She is 40 and looks about 30, I would say.

Anyway, her latest passion in life is Kombucha. You can google/wikipedia if you have not heard of it, essentially it is a tea that contains live cultures amongst other stuff. Kombucha was ALL OVER santa fe. Everyone was drinking it all the damn time, so naturally Perren and I tried it and about gagged to death, it was GROSS.

After spending hours with my friend listening to her RAVE, I figured I would pick some up next time I could and see if it went down any easier. So when i went out to the Bin today I bought 2 16oz bottles, and Perren and I split one after dinner, I actually drank about 12 of those ounces I'd say. It tasted a-ok to me. Not like a bottle full of vinegar and fungus as it did last time. Perhaps they have figured out how to make it palatable? Perhaps what i tried before was straight up or fresher or something different (this stuff i have now had organic juice in it and the kombucha tea)

Point being, it's 2am folks, and I could run a fucking marathon.

Highly reminiscent of Dr.J and her complete inability to

1. not order a Galapagos upon entering Gypsy and

2. Acknowledge and utilize the existence of decaf espresso.

Except, I totally did not see this coming. I knew if was supposed to make you feel really good, healthy, etc. I did not know I would be completely fucking wired.

This could prove unfortunate for my 11:15am client, but there is another bottle of this magic shit in my fridge, I suppose I can hit that in the morning if I am really struggling.

SO, have spent a solid 40 mins. reading about Kombucha online, interesting controversies about if it is helpful or harmful and so on.

i think i may find that i have been converted, some of the stuff i just read had me concerned about my friend who is drinking a bottle a day, but i think i will probably incorporate it into my diet more moderately, with the knowledge to do so when STARTING my day.

If anyone is curious to try, I can recommend GT's Synergy brand, Concord grape. Just beware the buzz, plan accordingly.

Why I Shop at Target

Not that we need another reason to avoid Wal-Mart, but here one is:

http://www.ajc.com/news/gwinnett/man-slaps-strangers-crying-129235.html

Wonder what pushed him over the edge?

Home again, home again

Tuesday night and I'm at my kitchen table, just home from seeing two clients at Lakewood. Which makes it a little hard to believe that I was in san francisco just yesterday. To be fair though, yesterday was all travel. I had a good trip, didn't get to do quite everything I wanted to, namely see a few of my most favorite spots in the area, but oh well.

I had purchased a ticket to this 3 day concert in GG park. Lots of good music, but I bought the ticket b/c the Beastie Boys were the Sunday night headliner, and I have not seen them since 1995 and really would love to. They had to cancel about a month ago and they had to be replaces - I had high hopes for Rage Against the Machine, but alas they came up with Tenacious D. Pretty lame, in my book. So , I did still hit up this concert each of those days and saw lots of good stuff.

Other than the show, I didn't get into a whole lot. Really minimal socializing which was nice in a way and not as well. I spent a day with my friend, roommate from college whose been in SF ever since. She has 23 months sober, and has spent those 23 months and a few random ones prior, in this sober living program - she lives, eats, rides public transit and all for free. Pretty sweet, though not considering how she got there. Anyway, she and I have always had fun and been very good friends, so it was nice to see her, we wandered around and went to dinner and then a movie (in the castro theatre where an old dude plays a pimped out old organ on the stage before the film, then he lowers down to the orchestra pit, and, only one preview. Sweet!)

Anyway, I just didn't feel like hanging out with anyone. I definitely didn't feel like going to any bars or anything solo, I was kind of sick while there and still have this throat issue. So I decided what to eat each day and just did my thing. Every single one of the concert days I found myself back in line for the pizza being sold by I heart spicy pie, a local pizza joint I had never heard of. My GOd. So. Good. FYI.

I had some really good sushi on my Japantown day where I also got a massage and used the tubs and saunas at a spa that was almost 10,000 waves-ish but it was in a building so not quite, but it was very nice. I did far less shopping than anticipated, and was fine with that as those funds went to food or were saved. Part of that and just generally speaking I was pretty exhausted, I think in large part by the convert which involved a 2 mile trek from one stage to another, endlessly, oh and it was in the 90s friday and saturday. So long bus rides, shopping, etc. were just not that appealing. The hotel I got was really affordable, I unfortunately forgot to take a picture of the sign on the front door that said " WARNING: These premises contain chemicals know to cause birth defects. More information is available." Something like that. So, I guess that explains the affordability. It is a neighborhood I had never visited before, the Marina, and I found it to be a little pretentious, not the old Marina Inn, by any stretch, but the district down the blocks of restaurants and bars I didn't care for. I always stayed before in the Hotel Tropicana in the Mission district, but vowed to never return when the Indian woman of the family who runs the Tropicana yelled at me about having friends up to my hotel room, as tho I were one of her own. Fuck that. ANyway, I was also way across town from my favorite spot at lands end and could not fit in a bus trip over there, tho I was right on the other side of a fence from it at the concert seeing acts such as MIA, modest mouse, and the SIlversun Pickups on the Lands End polo field stage.

Concert high lights for me, personally, were TV on the Radio (LOVE them), I think they said they were done touring for a while so was very glad to have sen that show, they rocked. M.I.A. was a great show, tho she did not sound all that good, her Baltimore dance crew was representing and Lucinda Williams. I love Lucinda a lot, too. I saw her at HOB in cleveland many years ago and was impressed. After that, I bought her live at the Fillmore album and still think that there are moments in that set where she rivals Janis Joplin as far as emotional vocals. So, I leave modest mouse to go see her whole performance, I am able to walk right up to the stage for a front row standing spot. She comes out with her band, she looks a little worse for wear, i must say, tho could be all the fault of bad hair (ain't that a bitch). She seemed a little subdued, I found myself wondering if she as on pain killers - had that look about her. ANyway, she sounded stellar. Almost as tho she just talks into a mic and sounds like she does on her songs. She opened with a song that is an old blues song she recorded for her first record, called Motherless Children, perhaps some of you have heard this - Clapton covered it and other contemporary groups, too. I had never heard it before, and needless to say, it made me cry -

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=1Dohfr-wHTQ.

It was quite moving, and the rest of her set was all of the songs I love from the FIllmore disc.

On the plane ride home, I watched Sunshine Cleaning. I thought it was a TV show, it is indeed a movie. The old woman next to

me announced to her old husband that she was watching it, and I could tell watching her screen that it was yet another thing

filmed in the state of NM, like my fave show, Breaking Bad. So, I watched it, too, and found myself in tears once again. It's a

good movie, and i must say could have been a good TV show, too. ANyway, the sisters in it reflect on losing their Mom which

I imagine is why I was all affected. The credits roll to the song "Spirit in the Sky" by Norman Greenbaum, which I have been

rocking the fuck out to ever since. I don't know if my Mom liked that song or not, for some reason I think she probably did

Jesus reference and all, so

it makes me pretty happy to rock to these past 24 hours, and even if she didn't like it I must say I really dig the music as well

as the simple rhyming lyrics and the whole idea there. I was going to link to that song, but you all can go ahead and google a

performance should you need to. Apparently it's a big hit via the video game rock band. Excellent. More later -

Saturday

I left work and was driving home, decided to get some soup since it was both cold and rainy. I called Perren to see if he wanted anything and shortly after hanging up I found myself at a red light staring at a license plate that read DRJ 5483. I was struck with a sense of excitement, I had recently heard about Charlotte's HKJ plate sighting in DC/FC. It occurred to me that this DRJ plate was not a vanity plate, and I was musing on this as I got on the highway and had just pretty much decided that this maybe did not hold any meaning at all when I find in my face once again a plate beginning with DRJ. This is truly exciting, and my hand flies to my mouth as I exclaim "Holy Shit!".

I am an overwhelming urge to spread the news, mainly to Vikki, and am also thinking of other folks, wishing I knew how to text a number of people from my i phone in one message (anyone?) I think how I should be sharing this with my brother as well but does he know about the tremont midget sightings? All sorts of thoughts along these lines running thru my mind but with the immediate need to text Vikki, so I do. I think this is interesting because it sounds like at the very times I was being inundated by DRJ's in my face, she was saying aloud to Joseph "Damn I really miss Grandma".

Fast forward a bit, I get home, eat soup, shower, and head out to Banks Rd for the baby fiesta. What should I see en route -? Yet one more for the day , a DRJ plate flying by me on the highway.

At this point, I am really contemplating license plates and how they all begin with three letters, ours is DRE which makes Perren and I hardcore and loosely associated with Death Row records. But really, I think, they must be on a DRJ roll at the Ohio DMV and this explains that. So, I basically said to myself - self, continue to be aware of the plates you pass and if you keep seeing DRJ's, then there you go. Today is Monday and I have yet to embark on my car bound errands but I did plenty of cruising around yesterday on the high way and otherwise and not a DRJ in sight. Perhaps Aunt Helen got out to Jho's shower/fiesta, I can only imagine her glee at 1. the shout to Vasu of "beat it like it's a Paki!" in reference to the pinata, from the mouth of a man whom I have never really spoken to, and can now vow that I never will ( and this is an OC dweller, can't blame Lorain Co.!) 2. The hi-fucking-larious convos in the kitchen between the Banks roaders, N&V and I about Jho's dating history - not to mention Nate's inexplicable 9well, certainly alcohol played some part) on going walk down memory lane to our cleveland heights days.

Anyway, who knows, just thought I would share..

She is with me in my time(s) of need

Driving home from the indian grocery store this morning with the in-laws (we need a blog name for them, btw), feeling kind of blue for a variety of reasons...pass the little bodega on the corner of Abbey Rd. and W. 20 and glance at the stoop...

Sitting there is a fat, like, OBESE midget, legs splayed over the edge of a milk crate, puffing on a cigarette, and he gives me the surliest glare. Oh yeah.

In my mind, I hear Dr. J's crack up laugh and instantly my mood improves!

Because few things feel as awesome as spending a shit ton of money -

- I have paid off all of my student loans.

- I spent a grotesque amount today at Target, on what you ask? a mothafuckin Dyson, y'all.

- I'm not quite done yet. My next tattoo should commence towards the end of September, I am off to san fran in a week, always pricey but I think I can play it cheap outside of lodging.

Spent this weekend with my globe trotting friend from college (we had the best lunch I have ever had in my own home consisting of oysters and champagne among other things, suprisingly an affordable afternoon), we began the planning for a South East Asia extravaganza, hopefully for sometime in 2010.

Is there a point where retail therapy ceases to be effective?

Should I be concerned?

I don't think so.

And now to see if I can't convince rufus to let me dyson his ass from head to tail. Otherwise, I'll just follow him and collect the hair as he runs away from the all terrifying beast.

This, however, makes for a lovely place to go to work

Based on the wildlife sightings as of late, I should work a lot more and be home a lot less. The below horrifying photos were however both taken outside of the house. Thank christ.

Not what I want to see in my garbage can.

Not what I want to come home to

Giant slug on my house. Gross.

Welcome Back

I've been meaning to post for awhile. No real reasons why I haven't, just laziness and getting sucked into facebook for hours at a time. And, in taking the advice in a recent comment from Matt, instead of just going forth with all the topics in one new post, I'm going to spread them out a bit and try to spend some time at this.

Of the many things that have crossed my mind to write about, including my new platform on regulating the lives of senior citizens and why I should never, ever go back to a Marc's store, the top ten things to never say to a pregnant woman, general thoughts on becoming a parent (terrifying!), random encounters with Toddling Bruce, etc., the one that takes precedence today is the complete lack of customer service at my local Home Depot.

Now, for many reasons, I've been spending a lot of time at Home Depot recently. We are trying to finish up all manor of projects at home before the arrival of Taj Jr., and because neither my husband nor myself are particularly handy, we often fail to get all the necessary supplies on our first or even second trip. Thus, I've been at Home Depot no fewer than 10 times in the last 2 weeks...really. This bothers me on many levels, but that reflection is for another post.

At each of my visits, I know what I need, but am either unable to find it or unable to reach it. At each of my visits, there seem to be many employees, but none who wish to help me with either task. I spend a particularly extended amount of time at the paint counter, where perhaps the most unfriendly of the employees are stationed, because that is where people seem to need the most help, so it makes sense to place your least trained and least hospitable workers there.

Plus, the paint counter is conveniently located directly opposite the general customer service desk, where there are often as many as 10 other employees, just hanging out, talking about life, enjoying some coffee, and in general, NOT HELPING ANYONE. This never ceases to intrigue me.

So last week, on my 6th or 7th visit in as many days, to get yet another can of deck stain, I had reached my breaking point. Really. Just to set the stage: I'm fucking 8 months pregnant. Its hot in Cleveland (finally!). I'm hungry and thirsty constantly. I also almost always need to pee. I'm cranky. The deck stain I need is so high on a shelf, I can't reach it without climbing onto a ladder. I ask the two employees, who are in the same aisle WITH A LADDER if they would mind getting me down the can. They decline. Really. They say, go to the paint counter and ask the guy there, he'll get it for you. Well, I know that, but he's helping the 4 other people who are there and if I can just take the can with me, he can mix the stain without having to walk down and get it and maybe I can get the fuck out of home depot in less than an hour, which itself would be a miracle. However, the two employees, who are in the same aisle WITH A LADDER continue to decline to give me the stain. So I waddle (side note: I'm really playing up the pregnant thing, especially in public, because usually it gets me excellent treatment and pleasantness from people...apparently, not in the depot though.) back to the paint desk...wait in line for the ONE employee working there, listening to the chatter of the ten other employees who are just chilling at the customer service desk. Not a care in the world.

Now, it is important to know that I avoid confrontation AT ALL COSTS. I don't know why, but I do. Rarely do I complain about service or products, or anything in stores or restaurants. I hate to return things. So I'm not sure why I chose to spout off this next statement, really loudly, to no one in particular, while standing in line. Oh that's right, see above.

"I'm amazed that with our country in such a deep recession...and with all these people out of work...that Home Depot would employ so many people who just don't want to help customers! I just don't get it! I'm amazed! I can't believe no one else in this entire store can help us here at the paint counter!!"

My fellow customers all kind of nodded while taking a few steps away from me, the goofy pregnant lady who is red in the face. And the chatter at the customer service desk stops--but there is NO REPLY or move to help us! Wow! The only response I get is from the paint guy who looks at me and slowly says "I'll be with you as soon as I can, ma'am." Don't ma'am me! I'm only 29 years old! Fuck you! Give me my goddamn deck stain! AHHHHHHHH!

Well, I didn't say those things at the end, I had reached my limit for confrontation. Instead, I just waited...got my stain...paid for it...went home...and informed my husband that if he valued our marriage at all, I would not ever have to return to Home Depot. And so far, I'm happy to say, I haven't.

So, just to check in -

Does anyone ever look at this blog, other than Medusa Jones?

Some Blogworthy Happenings

I don't think I've got 10, but I'll share all I can recall. Some good stuff here, folks.

1. Adventures in Takeout -

Fresh on my mind as it happened mere hours ago. Nobody felt like cooking any of the homegrown delicious veggies in our fridge so take out was inevitable. Minh Anh's menu was studied, decisions were made, they are closed Mondays. A delicious local Thai spot had been discussed, and dismissed as too pricey. The Thai was then our obvious plan B. We order, pick up, bring home, plate and begin to consume. I have been eager to try "drunken noodles" for awhile now so thats what I had ordered, even though I think this place does it not in the traditional manner. Mine is good, a little spicy, Perren is going to TOWN on his entree, and I notice something in my noodles that does not belong. I remove it and place it on the table saying " What is that??" "It's a noodle" replies P, without even looking. " Nope" I say. "THAT. What is that?" Perren proceeds to inspect and says " Ohhhhh. That's a maggot". Now, perhaps it was a maggot. I've seen maggots. This (dead) creature appeared to me to look like something I have seen in an old can of bread crumbs before. I think it might be accurate to call this a meal worm, but I'm not really sure. It was a small slightly curled white wormish thing.

So.

Appetite -gone.

How to proceed? Perren can't stop eating his dinner since it is so damn good. I can not make peace with Perren having just paid $30 for our dinner to have found this in it.

It is a REALLY small place, and trendy, and pricey. I like it a lot, and did not want to cause a scene, I recognize that shit happens. P kept saying, "they'll make you a free one", as if I would want that - no thanks. I thought it best to just get our money back. So that is what we did. The woman I dealt with simply voided the card transaction and that was it, I thanked her , at no point did she apologize or anything to me.

2. Why do the crackheads LOVE Alexis's porch/ front of her house?

I think it is just inviting to them. Often an empty 40 is left on the porch. I had to stop once and watch these two guys, because they paused, essentially on her porch, in order to roll a blunt. Her porch just screams shelter from the storm to any a passing drunk or crackhead here in the hood. We dropped her off Sunday night after a dinner in Brecksville and as usual waited for her to get safely in. On her way to the door, she noticed something and took pause. Upon inspection, she yelled back to us that someone had abandoned their nasty boxers there by the bushes. Moments later, she put all the puzzle pieces together. She picked up the empty plastic bag that had contained the new and surely unnecessary yellow pages and said " someone took the phone book from HERE, wiped their ass with it, and left the phone book and boxers".

Yes, someone took a shit in her front yard, and yes, they wiped their ass with an entire fucking yellow pages phone book - not a page or pages torn from -

W

T

F

?

Some things will never change, Ohio City, try as you might.

3. I was pulled over today by a cop, and he pulled over another young woman along with me. He said that we had run a red light. I had absolutely no idea wtf he was talking about. I had given him my license, and he informed me of why he pulled me over. I observed the other woman who had pulled behind me and based on her animated reaction, she had no clue wtf he was talking about either. I looked in my rearview and could see the light behind me, so I guess that is the light I allegedly ran. I got a little stressed about the whole deal as I was sitting there, and then I thought, fuck that, and fuck this motherfucker too. So I chilled out, but was kind of miffed because I like to think that I am always aware of the lights that I run or come close to running. Anyway, he came back to the car and said "Who are these Hedderson people?" (Perren is on insurance policy with his parents) and then said " You don't have any violations on your record" to which I responded "True". He gave a warning and then said " don't go running red lights at major intersections, people get killed that way".

It was really weird, and I am wondering if light was blown thru, or close to, or what. I wrote down his car number and the time and location because I really started thinking, would he care to prove that I ran that light? Ultimately, a non issue.

3. Got haircut (trim) and high lights today, got pulled over after leaving salon.

4. Was on my way to the BMV to renew my license - thats right - totally ahead of the game on that - when I was pulled over. Is that ironic? maybe a little.

5. My dad has a history of gift giving that often falls a little short or leaves the recipient kind of bemused. His wife seems to exacerbate this, for reasons I think are understandable. She has the most f'd up taste of any person I've ever encountered. So, they were traveling recently and brought me some really good stuff - a canvas bag I will totally use and a simple solid copper bracelet. They bought Perren a necklace that cracks me up, I am too lazy to get a picture, but i will. It actually looks OK on him, and in a laughing fit last night I went and put on the necklace they got me last trip (thinking it was even more out of control that Perrens), and I was told it actually worked very well with the outfit I had on, so there you go.

6. The dogs were SO fucking dirty, and are now SO fucking clean b/c we took them to a DIY dog wash. Good times were had, well worth the $15.95 per dog. Rufus is amazingly shiny and soft, I want to do a glamour shots session with them to preserve this state.

7. Watched some really good movies while Perren was down with the shingles - Religulous, Frost Nixon, and Slumdog Millionaire.

8. Ate at Empress Tatyu on E.55 and St. Clair - delicious Ethiopian, and there are straw huts you can sit under inside the restaurant - sweet!

9. Work should actually commence on Perrens house sometime soon. Then, we will actually live in it. May wonders never cease.

10. We saw Frank Black live for the first time - just him with an electric guitar and harmonica. Only show I have seen where the performer has a little tableclothed table with a bottle of wine and wine glass and whacks a bottle of wine through his set. VERY awesome set it was with many tunes from show me your tears, honeycomb, and all sorts of Pixies stuff. Really cool time despite clusters of drunken retards in the crowd, one of whom had a sick ass mullet.

Omission

I should have mentioned below that the other part of the top of the picture which you can not read off the scan says  - Dear Aunt Sarah and Perren, I love you -

 which I think it was raised the question for Perren - is that an artists interpretation of us ?

Art

The most recent gifts of artwork by Cleo have been on display @ my fridge gallery since we have been home from vacation. A few days after hanging them, Perren and I were sitting at the kitchen table eating when he looked over at the below scanned item, which unfortunately did not scan very well ( but you can see the important part). He laughed, and said "Holy Shit, is that supposed to be you on the right and me on the left, in the form of a heart (pause)... because Cleo is in love with me!?". He really cracked himself at the notion. For the record, I don't think Cleo has a crush on Perren. She remains kind of intrigued by the hair, but I don't see any crush behavior. Anyway. I think it is a valid question, and I do not want to insult the artist by asking her so perhaps her parents have an opinion? Do share.

 Also worth noting that EVERYONE who has been in our kitchen has read and been amused by the top of the picture which reads in part To: you

                                                                       From: Cleo

One friend said that he was going to start using the To:you line   on cards and also not signing said cards so that they can be re carded (like re gifted) down the line.

It was bound to happen someday

Last night, Medusa and I headed out to Brothers Lounge to 1. watch the Cavs and 2. so Medusa could jam with the house band, it being jam night there.

 I had a Blue Moon at the front bar watching the first 2 quarters, then Bret (Michaels, Salexis' new alias) took off and we went into the back bar room so that Medusa would know when it was her turn on the drums.

 Up front, I had seen a basket with 2 fabulous looking soft pretzels go by, so I figured I ought to take a look at the menu. I opted for nachos instead of pretzels, and had another beer because, why not.

 As soon as Medusa was summoned to drum, I notice my personal trainer at the table behind us, clearly on a date.

 I knew this would happen one day, that I would run into him whilst consuming a late night pizza or something horribly detrimental to my waist line.

 I was immediately paralyzed by guilt/shame and could not touch a nacho until Medusa returned to our table, at which time I filled her in and asked that she shift slightly to her left in order to serve as my human shield and to also please eat some more nachos.

 As far as I know, my trainer did not notice my presence at any point. I was intently focused on the cavs game in order to look occupied and ignore the nachos, so don't really know if I was spotted at all or not.

Anyway, yesterday did mark my return to the gym after about a 3 week hiatus, and we did bike to and fro Brothers, and, as Medusa mentioned, it's a holiday weekend.

 More later.

sonofabitch

Why is my post all fucked?

 Sorry, kids. I guess that is what happens when you neglect the blogalicious. Hope it is readable. 

Bringing it Back

Greetings, blog. Long time, no post but we are freshly committed to bringing it back.

I've decided that a random 10 is the best way to kick things off, so here we go:

- 2 of the 3 of you already heard the story of Perren's French monologue to the telemarketer. Here is the skit/song from Flight of the Chonchords season 1 that inspired him

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=w8S2iyJpuYA

- I have never grown anything in my life, in fact killed both the bromeliad and the
cactus I got for my apartment in college, so, am

pretty excited to have very cute little heirloom tomato plant sprouts popping up in their
starter containers. They remind me of wall-e.

- I have discovered an aluminum free deodorant that actually works, well.
Kiss my Face "active enzyme" in peaceful patchouli. I just

wish they would have called it Kiss my Pits, but it's probably best they did not.

- I have (am now getting over) a HEINOUS cold. Why do PM cold medicines
make me more awake? What is the deal? Also, could

I have been any higher on Tylenol Cold Datytime yesterday?
No. I felt insanely high. I don't think the human body ought to be

subjected to the daytime and nighttime cold drugs regimine.
It's crazy, and probably does not really shorten the life of the cold.

- On the topic of my health, I still feel that it is entirely possible that I have
some form of cancer, and it pisses me off that I can't just

get a scan. I mean seriously, why wait for symptoms? Nobody wants to do that.
Apparently, I can travel to India and get myself a scan and whatever

else, no problem. So, next vacation destination, India it is.

- Just received text message confirmation that my best friend is now engaged,
everyone is getting hitched!

- I am going to have a reading with a medium on Saturday.
Will certainly blog about that, assuming it is anything interesting.
I think iit will be cool, and it is a woman from Lilydale who will be in Cleveland so saves me a trip.

- I paid $915.32 for a "tune up" and a new windshield on our CRV. No, that did not include any
"major" work, like the timing belt or catalytic converter that will need to be replaced
sometime in the future. HA ha ha. WTF is wrong with the world? Where to begin...

- One of clients informed me the other day that Mercury is in retrograde until the 30th.
i do not pretend to know jack about astrology or the planets or any of it. I was always hearing
about Mercury retrograding in Santa Fe, I think something about the geographic location of
Santa Fe makes Mercury do this more often? Some sort of special circumstance there, which
I think would explain alot about the kind of people you find there.
Anyway, my client said that communications can be messed with, so I started thinking about my
interactions /communications with people. SHe then went on and was commenting on the
computer system at her work and how it had been all wacky. It reminded me that our landline
phone has been all crazy, too, constantly indicating that there are new messages when there
are not. Kind of annoying. This morning, still in bed, barely awake ,
I hear my phone sound off that I've received a text. The text from 703 577 3499 read:

Mr. Fuckface the big headed bastard

Mercury? Who knows.

- I think that's it. I ought to get outside and enjoy the weather. I could mention as my final
item that I saw a play at Cleveland Public Theatre on Sunday that was pretty interesting.
I had read a few things about it, one of which mentioned that rape was a part of the story,
which is an understatement. Led to some random ass questions from toddling Bruce about
rape and why it occurs (as if I have the answers, I gave him my WOMS 101 shpeel).
I also wonder i Norm regrets getting Deedee those CPT passes for Xmas...

Peace out, blog. More later.

So, Um...

Barack won it. It is 70, sunny and gorgeous in Cleveland today, as it was yesterday and will be tomorrow.  I saw Dr J at the polls via an overweight, Obama- voting midget.

 I have been musing to myself all day -'does this mean, that there is actually a God'??

 Well, who the fuck knows, but things are CERTAINLY on an upswing. I hope it lasts for a long, long time.

 I had the pleasure last night of observing some Obama celebrations in the hood, and would like to share the quote of the evening c/o an intoxicated young man with a kick ass grill on his teeth : 

(enters house, says to perren): 

"smell my hair. you like it? It's bud light. I poured a bottle of champagne in the street, and 2 brews on myself. 

I don't know what else to do.

 ...O_B_A_M_A.....O_B_A_M_A!!!"

 

   There were cheers and tears, the crafty idea of red and blue shots (vodka and kool aid, perhaps gatorade, which i am really glad we arrived AFTER the electoral counting ,because based on how I felt and the day I had yesterday, I would have been pounding with the rest of them), then fireworks c/o Perren having a 14 year old trapped inside and having lived in new mex where they keep 'em legal, and random shouts of "OBAMA!" to and from literally every single person on the streets, in their cars, houses, everywhere.

 There is a bunch of other shit I have been meaning to blog about, none of which seems relevant today, so I'll catch you all later.

 Oh, I like how NBC was on some bullshit local election coverage/commercials as we were waiting to see about florida or cali or whichever and just came back to this big old banner of barack obama, 44th president.  

 I reached over and hit perren saying " what is that shit? what is that shit? There it is, there it is!!". 

God love Perren. I hit him alot yesterday.

 Can't help it. I was very excited.