Part One

So much to blog about...turning 31, how life has changed, etc. However, in anticipation of the biggest life changing event I've experienced so far, I decided to write about my son's birth. Not known for my brevity, it turns out I'm going to need several entries to get this all down. So far I've only finished Part One, which you can read below.

Saturday evening I attended my brother's wedding shower. Many of the women there commented on my big belly: "You're still so high!" they exclaimed, and insisted I had at least one week more of pregnancy. I was already a few days past my "due date" and was feeling rather ambivalent about it all; I knew my baby would arrive exactly when he wanted to.

The next day, at about noon, I felt something. I thought my water had broken, and upon further investigation, realized my mucus plug had passed. So, it begins, I thought, and told my husband. As I had no contractions, and knew from my extensive reading on the subject that the passage of the plug could happen anywhere from days to weeks ahead of time, I felt no rush or anxiety. We decided to check out a kite festival taking place, and it was there, three hours later, while walking around Edgewater Park, my water broke! "We better head home", I said to S, and I proceeded to lay in bed in anticipation of some contractions. When none started after a few hours, I called my midwife.

"Hmmm...", she started. "Well, if you haven't had any by 9:00 tonight, then come on in," she said, "and we'll figure out what to do."

Well, by 9:00, I had had only 3 contractions, none of them very strong. I thought to myself, "Wow, is this it? Maybe it will be just like those hippie mama's I read about in Ina Mae's book, where it just flows and flows..." Thankfully, I did not share this thought with my husband. I had planned on trying for a natural labor and delivery. I was terrified at the thought of having a c-section, and didn't want an epidural because I saw it as the gateway to other interventions, which I was against. I also wanted to be able to move around as much as possible during my labor, which an epidural does not allow for. As we drove to the hospital, I was feeling good, like, "I can do this! This isn't so bad! When will it really begin?" I distinctly remember everything about that drive, what we passed, how it was when we arrived at the hospital. It was all so surreal; this was really happening!

Upon arriving at UH, we were escorted to a lobby, since I obviously was not in distress or popping out a baby anytime soon, and as my midwife told me, when we arrived, "Its like a bus just came and dropped off every pregnant woman in labor at once." After about 30 minutes of waiting, we were taken into the triage area, where I was to be examined. This turned out to be the first of what would be several funny encounters with "students". UH is, after all, a teaching hospital, and I expected I'd have a student midwife. However, for my initial exam, my midwife brought in what had to be a first year, possibly even first week of first year, medical student, from some Arabic country, and instruct him to give me a pelvic exam to see how dilated I was. He couldn't even look me in the eye. I got great pleasure out of this, seeing as how I was still feeling fine.

Unfortunately, I was only 1 centimeter dilated. "Well........", said Leslie, my midwife. "Hmm. Um. Well, in general, we like for you to deliver within 24 hours of your water breaking, because of infection possibilities. So, um, I think we're going to have to give you some pitocin, to get you going." Well, after reading nothing but horror stories about pitocin, and the kind of contractions it induces, I was not very happy to hear that. Thankfully, my husband took this moment to step in. He asked, "What about that gel we learned about at our last appointment, the one that will help ripen the cervix. Can't Jessie have that instead?" Leslie considered for a moment, then decided to consult with the physician on call. He agreed with S that the gel may be used, and in fact, why not try the pill version of this gel, which is supposed to be milder, and may help get things going. "Great", I thought, "I just need a little push to get things going" (no pun intended).

I was a little concerned when Leslie brought me my pill of Cytotec (which, as it turns out, is a BAD, BAD DRUG, more on this later!). By this point, I had been moved to a private room, it was about midnight and you know how everything is different at night. I sat there, staring at the baby warming table, and all of a sudden, it hit me: I was about to have a baby. Somehow, sometime soon, I would be giving birth to my son.

Oh. My. Fucking. God.

I. Am. Not. Ready.

For. This.