We've Got to Get Right Back to Where We Started From

Tuesday, September 22, 2009

Snippets from my day

This morning (bright and early), we embarked on a memorial bike ride in honor of Sylvia, biking her path from home to work. It was really something to be a part of, well over 100 people showed up. We stopped en route on the silent ride to her work to place flowers at her bike which is chained to a pole @ the intersection where she was hit. At her work place, the director spoke about Sylvia, it was quite moving and sad for everyone there. Then we all biked back to Tremont and disbanded. Couple of things -
JUST IN CASE I had not had enough "that totally could have been me" moments, upon arriving at what was Sylvias new Tremont home, Perren and I realize she had moved into the very same house in Tremont that I lived in the summer before we moved to NM.
Also, absolutely worth mentioning that I saw our boy, the Abbey Market midget starting off the ride, and coming back. As Perren said, we have simply got to get our hands on him.
Also saw Grandma and Grandpa Merugu on their way to the rapid, presumably off to the airport and then Boston. Perren shouted a greeting at them to "have a good trip to Chicago", and we both waved enthusiastically as we zipped by , I hope they don't think we are crazy (I think we were kind of a sight with our posse of 100 in white t shirts and helmets).
I am off to bed now, more later.
JHo, I don't think you are keeping up on the ol' blog here, but if you are, I hope to be able to come hang on the Banks Rd. tomorrow, and my present to you/Kai has finally arrived in the mail, I hope you dig it!

Tuesday, September 15, 2009

Talk about the Circle of Life

I think there is a good reason why "crazy" is such a common adjective, response, random utterance in the world (or at least my part of the world) today. It is fairly often the only way to describe and or react to a great number of things.
On Sunday, I had a run in around 2 in the afternoon with some random dog walking guy. Actually, Perren , his mom and our dogs had the initial run in with him, in which our dogs startled him and his little dog coming out of Caroles garage. Our dogs were excited by the presence of this little dog on a leash and ran right up, I didn't see it but imagine all the dogs startled each other. The guy saw our 2 dogs and COMPLETELY lost his shit. I heard his screams of "NOOOOOOOO, NOOOOOOOOO!!" and wondered if my dogs were ripping the flesh off of his right before his eyes. No, indeed they were not. His little dog managed to slip out of its collar, and he scooped it up and really, other than everyone being startled, nothing happened. Certainly no dogs were hurt or anything close. This guy refused to acknowledge any of us 3 people apologizing and making sure all was ok, when he was maybe 10 feet away he angrily said "fuck you" without even turning around to direct it at anyone. When we went and got in our car, the guy was down the block and I simply could not let it go, fuck him, was all i kept thinking, and i really wanted to let him know that, so I chased him down and I did. After an obscenity filled exchange, I got back in the car shaking, hating people like that guy (miserable fuckheads), and wishing i had said even more than i did.
We were on our way to stop by a cook out at a friends new place, a group of perrens friends he has known his whole life. We stayed for a bit watching the browns lose and then went home in time for me to get to yoga. At the cook out was a woman I had met once before at a pool party in June, her name is Sylvie and she had moved to cleveland in june working via Americorps. Her best friend is the girlfriend of one of perrens friend and Sylvie had begun dating his brother upon relocating to ohio city. At the pool party in June , Sylvie walked away from the camp fire in the pitch dark and whacked her leg on this metal grate in the yard. She walked back to the house and maybe 10 mins later I went into the house for something to find her crying in the kitchen - her leg had an awful looking wound on it that looked like it hurt like hell, no one realized how bad it was. I went into total mom/ massage therapist mode, felt so bad for her, and told her to elevate her leg while i got an ice pack, then a bunch of stuff from the bathroom to clean it up and compress. Her best friend was out by the fire and came in shortly there after, and save for her i knew sylvie had just met all the rest of us so felt very sympathetic towards her injury and having to deal with it in that social context.
So she was at this cook out Sunday, and then she was at the yoga class I went to, we said hello and kind of laughed as we had just been at the same cook out an hour earlier.
I'm getting things all intertwined here but my first point was to illustrate the extremes of going, on Sunday from cursing at a man on the street in front of johnny mangos patio patrons to my first yoga class in over 3 weeks, trying to let go of all the anger and rage of the first incident.
Then getting home from yoga sunday, I got word that Jho was having her baby and soon. Then , come Monday I had the privilage of being present while baby merugu entered the world - the miracle of child birth.
This afternoon, perren and i ran into a friend while taking a walk, he told us that Sylvie was killed this morning on her way to work in downtown. She was on her bicycle and was hit by a truck. She was 22, had graduated from Yale earlier this year. I was of course shocked and saddened to hear this as was Perren. I did not know her at all having only met her twice. I found myself wishing I'd been friendlier at yoga on sunday. Of course, thinking a lot about the people here who did get to know her well, and her best friend here, all people perren knows better than I. I am glad that they are a tight knit group of such close friends to deal with this experience together, and while I am not inclined to seek anybody out or interject myself they will continue to be in my thoughts. I expect something will occur in Cleveland in honor of Sylvie and I would certainly join in that.
There are a number of young people that I've known in some context who have died so young, and I think of them from time to time. I tend to think of them all as this group, and have even thought of writing something about them all, the very very little I knew of them. There is Mahdi Abdul Rashid, who was in many of my classes in middle school and my first year of high schoool, i had quite a crush on him, he was very handsome. At some point in high school he started selling weed, and when he was found murdered in the trunk of a car during senior year, I remember people who knew him better commenting that he may have been into things far more sinister than anyone was aware of. There is Mindy Biggins who I went through 3 years of high school with always pleasantly greeting each other but never much beyond that (i did really like her though, which is true of so few of the girls in my high school). She was engaged and working as a kindergarten teacher after college and took her own life by jumping off of the Fairview bridge that goes over the metroparks. There was another girl named Erin who transfered into my high school class for about a month and then hung herself in the attic of her home. I try to imagine both Mindy and Erin and what they were feeling when they decided what they did, and while I have had some glimpses of despair, depression and low lows, I am not able to imagine it, not quite. There was another girl in my HS class, Holly, who died a few years ago when she was in her early 20s. She was always sick, I think, I don't know what with, but she was a very nice sweet girl, and smart, and I don't think I ever spoke to her once.
In college, my roomate had a friend named Sri, they were from the same town in CA. Sri graduated one year before I did, and after her graduation day she went to a party on campus and left by herself to walk home and was hit and killed on an otherwise traffic less street by a speeding car that did not stop. I think about these people in this group in my mind, and i find it weird that i think of them at all, yet I'm glad that I do, and I did think many times about writing about them because then it feels like I am acknowledging them outside of just my weird brain, so maybe that is what I just did, remember them, just because I do, and I know they all left behind families and loved ones who remember them every day.
Of course I think of my friend Jessica, and my Mom, but in way very different to this group of people who were on the peripheral of my life in one way or another.
I understand completely that life is short, we have no idea what is ahead of us, and it's important to both enjoy our time here and to DO something good. I struggle with both of these mandates, as I imagine lots of people do. I can't enjoy every moment or every day for that matter because some of them just plain suck. Perhaps we set ourselves up for that, we don't live quite right - we've come a long way from the natural flow of things and a long way from what our priorities ought to be.
It's also hard to feel as though I am doing all the I can to contribute to the world and the whole human family, and sometimes it is hard to even try or give a fuck when I learn of all the crazy stupid right wing shit that is going down everyday. I suppose we all do what we can, try to do no harm, and chose our battles while remembering to focus on the joys of life - the big and the small, the on going and the short lived.
So Good Bye Sylvia Bingham,
Hello Kailash Merugu,
and we should all strive to be kind to every person we meet, including miserable fuck heads with little dogs, because you just never ever know what is ahead

Saturday, September 12, 2009

this is hilarious

had my Mom lived to her 70's, you bet your ass I would have published a book (or perhaps just ran a website) of the things that she said.
My personal favorite on here is the one about "your brother brought his baby over this morning. He said it could stand. Couldn't stand for shit. Just sat there. Big let down"

Wednesday, September 09, 2009

Buzzed

not in the traditional sense.
I saw a good friend of mine over my birthday weekend (aka labor day weekend for the rest of the country minus JHM), she is one to offer lots of commentary on her experiences, etc. and she tends to be a healthy lady who takes good care of herself. She is 40 and looks about 30, I would say.
Anyway, her latest passion in life is Kombucha. You can google/wikipedia if you have not heard of it, essentially it is a tea that contains live cultures amongst other stuff. Kombucha was ALL OVER santa fe. Everyone was drinking it all the damn time, so naturally Perren and I tried it and about gagged to death, it was GROSS.
After spending hours with my friend listening to her RAVE, I figured I would pick some up next time I could and see if it went down any easier. So when i went out to the Bin today I bought 2 16oz bottles, and Perren and I split one after dinner, I actually drank about 12 of those ounces I'd say. It tasted a-ok to me. Not like a bottle full of vinegar and fungus as it did last time. Perhaps they have figured out how to make it palatable? Perhaps what i tried before was straight up or fresher or something different (this stuff i have now had organic juice in it and the kombucha tea)
Point being, it's 2am folks, and I could run a fucking marathon.
Highly reminiscent of Dr.J and her complete inability to
1. not order a Galapagos upon entering Gypsy and
2. Acknowledge and utilize the existence of decaf espresso.

Except, I totally did not see this coming. I knew if was supposed to make you feel really good, healthy, etc. I did not know I would be completely fucking wired.
This could prove unfortunate for my 11:15am client, but there is another bottle of this magic shit in my fridge, I suppose I can hit that in the morning if I am really struggling.
SO, have spent a solid 40 mins. reading about Kombucha online, interesting controversies about if it is helpful or harmful and so on.
i think i may find that i have been converted, some of the stuff i just read had me concerned about my friend who is drinking a bottle a day, but i think i will probably incorporate it into my diet more moderately, with the knowledge to do so when STARTING my day.
If anyone is curious to try, I can recommend GT's Synergy brand, Concord grape. Just beware the buzz, plan accordingly.

Wednesday, September 02, 2009

Why I Shop at Target

Not that we need another reason to avoid Wal-Mart, but here one is:

http://www.ajc.com/news/gwinnett/man-slaps-strangers-crying-129235.html

Wonder what pushed him over the edge?

Tuesday, September 01, 2009

Home again, home again

Tuesday night and I'm at my kitchen table, just home from seeing two clients at Lakewood. Which makes it a little hard to believe that I was in san francisco just yesterday. To be fair though, yesterday was all travel. I had a good trip, didn't get to do quite everything I wanted to, namely see a few of my most favorite spots in the area, but oh well.
I had purchased a ticket to this 3 day concert in GG park. Lots of good music, but I bought the ticket b/c the Beastie Boys were the Sunday night headliner, and I have not seen them since 1995 and really would love to. They had to cancel about a month ago and they had to be replaces - I had high hopes for Rage Against the Machine, but alas they came up with Tenacious D. Pretty lame, in my book. So , I did still hit up this concert each of those days and saw lots of good stuff.
Other than the show, I didn't get into a whole lot. Really minimal socializing which was nice in a way and not as well. I spent a day with my friend, roommate from college whose been in SF ever since. She has 23 months sober, and has spent those 23 months and a few random ones prior, in this sober living program - she lives, eats, rides public transit and all for free. Pretty sweet, though not considering how she got there. Anyway, she and I have always had fun and been very good friends, so it was nice to see her, we wandered around and went to dinner and then a movie (in the castro theatre where an old dude plays a pimped out old organ on the stage before the film, then he lowers down to the orchestra pit, and, only one preview. Sweet!)
Anyway, I just didn't feel like hanging out with anyone. I definitely didn't feel like going to any bars or anything solo, I was kind of sick while there and still have this throat issue. So I decided what to eat each day and just did my thing. Every single one of the concert days I found myself back in line for the pizza being sold by I heart spicy pie, a local pizza joint I had never heard of. My GOd. So. Good. FYI.
I had some really good sushi on my Japantown day where I also got a massage and used the tubs and saunas at a spa that was almost 10,000 waves-ish but it was in a building so not quite, but it was very nice. I did far less shopping than anticipated, and was fine with that as those funds went to food or were saved. Part of that and just generally speaking I was pretty exhausted, I think in large part by the convert which involved a 2 mile trek from one stage to another, endlessly, oh and it was in the 90s friday and saturday. So long bus rides, shopping, etc. were just not that appealing. The hotel I got was really affordable, I unfortunately forgot to take a picture of the sign on the front door that said " WARNING: These premises contain chemicals know to cause birth defects. More information is available." Something like that. So, I guess that explains the affordability. It is a neighborhood I had never visited before, the Marina, and I found it to be a little pretentious, not the old Marina Inn, by any stretch, but the district down the blocks of restaurants and bars I didn't care for. I always stayed before in the Hotel Tropicana in the Mission district, but vowed to never return when the Indian woman of the family who runs the Tropicana yelled at me about having friends up to my hotel room, as tho I were one of her own. Fuck that. ANyway, I was also way across town from my favorite spot at lands end and could not fit in a bus trip over there, tho I was right on the other side of a fence from it at the concert seeing acts such as MIA, modest mouse, and the SIlversun Pickups on the Lands End polo field stage.
Concert high lights for me, personally, were TV on the Radio (LOVE them), I think they said they were done touring for a while so was very glad to have sen that show, they rocked. M.I.A. was a great show, tho she did not sound all that good, her Baltimore dance crew was representing and Lucinda Williams. I love Lucinda a lot, too. I saw her at HOB in cleveland many years ago and was impressed. After that, I bought her live at the Fillmore album and still think that there are moments in that set where she rivals Janis Joplin as far as emotional vocals. So, I leave modest mouse to go see her whole performance, I am able to walk right up to the stage for a front row standing spot. She comes out with her band, she looks a little worse for wear, i must say, tho could be all the fault of bad hair (ain't that a bitch). She seemed a little subdued, I found myself wondering if she as on pain killers - had that look about her. ANyway, she sounded stellar. Almost as tho she just talks into a mic and sounds like she does on her songs. She opened with a song that is an old blues song she recorded for her first record, called Motherless Children, perhaps some of you have heard this - Clapton covered it and other contemporary groups, too. I had never heard it before, and needless to say, it made me cry -
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=1Dohfr-wHTQ.
It was quite moving, and the rest of her set was all of the songs I love from the FIllmore disc.

On the plane ride home, I watched Sunshine Cleaning. I thought it was a TV show, it is indeed a movie. The old woman next to
me announced to her old husband that she was watching it, and I could tell watching her screen that it was yet another thing
filmed in the state of NM, like my fave show, Breaking Bad. So, I watched it, too, and found myself in tears once again. It's a
good movie, and i must say could have been a good TV show, too. ANyway, the sisters in it reflect on losing their Mom which
I imagine is why I was all affected. The credits roll to the song "Spirit in the Sky" by Norman Greenbaum, which I have been
rocking the fuck out to ever since. I don't know if my Mom liked that song or not, for some reason I think she probably did
Jesus reference and all, so
it makes me pretty happy to rock to these past 24 hours, and even if she didn't like it I must say I really dig the music as well
as the simple rhyming lyrics and the whole idea there. I was going to link to that song, but you all can go ahead and google a
performance should you need to. Apparently it's a big hit via the video game rock band. Excellent. More later -