Yesterday morning, while securing our bikes to a pole in the parking lot at our local coffee shop, Perren and I noticed a pick up truck with some of the most offensive and outrageous bumper stickers I have ever seen. I actually noticed it, and grabbed Perren (physically) in horror. At first, I noticed the 2 standard classics - VIVA BUSH! and WKMN 102.2 Catholic Radio (w/ a sacred heat or some such by the call letters). Typical. Simply made me smile and shake my head.
Then, on the bumper itself (those first 2 were up on the rear window) - Real Men Don't Need "Safe Sex" - They Choose Abstinence. Whaaa? My brows furrowed in confusion , then changed to a more - what the fuck - kind of expression. Lastly, on the other side of the bumper, the words; Diversity, Celebrate Excellence, preceeded by some very odd graphic that at first looked like nothing i could figure out, then kind of like a tornado, and then a split second after bringing Piddy in to consult, it hit me - that is supposed to be a big screw. Screw Diversity, Celebrate Excellence.... and they can't even bring themselves to print the fucking word "screw'. Fucking Christian Pussies. What, I ask you, is "excellent", by ANY stretch of the definition of the word, about an Abstinent Catholic Hispanic man who voted for and continues to support Bush?
-NOT A GODDAMN THING.
Oh, the IRONY!!
I didn;t know what to do, myself. Perren immediately spit on the truck, landing in the bed.
Once we entered the shop, I scoped and felt pretty confident that the two older guys in the corner eating lunch were our suspects. I was totally right. I mean, I don't think there is anything to say to such people so my prime instinct was to deface the truck in some way, but then what is that? pointless, yet would probably provie me some serious instant gratification. Anyway, it's all over now. I just had to share the wonder.
Bumper stickers are a great topic - Santa Fe had previously made me proud with " If the fetus you saved turned out to be gay, would you still fight for it's rights?", the enormous homemade poster taking up the whole back of a truck - " THere is No flag big enough to hide the shame of all you selfish ignorant people (roughly that)" , " where are we going and why am i in this handbasket?", " Bad Tourist, No Turquoise!", and " You mean buying more useless crap isn't the meaning of life?".
On another note, I saw an anti abortion one in VA long the lines of " A Country that Murders it's own children is a country that has no soul. abortion stops a beating heart" that one stopped my heart for a good second.
Feel free to comment with bumper sticker stories, observations, outrages, etc.
Wtf? in the style of W '04 is another gem.
