Neighborhood News
Well, oh my. Yes my friends, JHo is back. What has spurned this action, you ask? Well, some neighborhood news to share. And a desire to please SilkE. And now that I'm back at work I have random time to kill. Go Guidance!
So, driving down the old block a few days back, and low and behold but our old stomping grounds are for sale! But yes! How so? Oh no! 1828 is on the market. For the low low price of 240 g's, you can own one big, inefficient, cold, dark, creaky, did I mention cold, old house in the OC with such delightful neighbors as "Porkchop". Or, as the lovely flier puts it, a "charming, unique, turn of the century Victorian with delightful mother-in-law suite and plenty of neat features". By neat features, do they mean a jacked up back door? A scary basement? A leaking fridge? So, as a public service to the house-buying world, I'm going to make my own flier. It will have in large letters at the top:
"THIS HOUSE COSTS $900 A MONTH TO HEAT IN WINTER".
Followed by:
"THE UPSTAIRS DECK IS A FIRE HAZARD."
and
"PORKCHOP WILL EAT YOUR ASS IF YOU DON'T WATCH OUT."
Now that last one may be a bit of an exaggeration, but not really.
Anything I'm missing? Let's make a flier!
Random shoutout to SilkE and Dr. J for a high-larious gathering yesterday.
Random shoutout to Klassy Kate, we really miss you here in Cleveland are you moving back?
Random shoutout to Medusa: keep the mullets coming. I want to see that waterfall.
Peace, Pot, and Micro-dot.
JHo
posted by JHM at
9:05 AM
5 Comments:
What about the running toilet on the second floor that will create a ginormous hole in the living room ceiling?
9:56 AM
oh ho-ho, i am soo making a flier. funny stuff! let's see, we'll have to mention other neat features like the NON NATIVE spiders whose bites cause your ass to swell to twice it's size, the hole to the outdoors above the window in my old room which i sealed with duct tape, the fact that you should absolutely not park on the street lest your tire get speared (literally) and flattened. And the alfway house of neighbors to complement PC (porkchop) and the whole West Va clan who once hung a dead deer from the tree RIGHT outside my window and gutted and skinned it. awesome.
7:14 PM
spelling correction from my previous post, i meant of course : halfway house. they began using the house on the corner as such a couple of months before we rolled out. Smith called it to my attention, i actually thought nothing of a constant rotation of various people continually smoking on the porch. I never could tell if it was a mental health or drug rehab halfway situation. tough one to call without asking, which was way out of the question.
10:53 PM
It's safe to bet that it was not only mental health, but also drugs. The two kinda compliment each other. When unable to cope, do some dope!!!
6:56 PM
J.Ho!!! Good to see you back in the world! We shall talk soon, my friend! Is your number still the same at work?
Klassy
8:32 AM
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