Blog-a-licious!

2011-09-12T20:54:00.000-04:00

Bloggage!

2011-09-12T20:48:00.002-04:00

In honor of NFTM and the revived blogging activity over there at out brother blog, here is a fine example of how NFTM has penetrated the very fiber of our lives.

The scene: our living room, 5 minutes ago.

Piddy announces that he has a sweet tooth. He scours the kitchen, producing a package of dried mango. He shares with me. It is delicious.

Me: Damn, this is some good mango

Piddy, yelling in a British accent: I LIKE BREAST MILK BETTER THAN A MANGO! I'M ELEVEN AND I DRINK BREAST MILK AND IT'S BETTER THAN A MANGO!!

Followed by hysterical laughter and a near choking on dried mango.

Good Times.

quote

2011-03-14T22:14:00.002-04:00

I opened one of my aunt Karen's books last night and a piece of paper fell out of it on which she had written -

Grief has changed me since you saw me last

and careful hours, with time's deformed hand

hath written strange defections

o'er my face

- Shakespeare

oh hey, it's a blizzard!

2011-03-11T11:49:00.003-05:00

Don't see those around here too much.

Totally refreshing to come home to after 10 days of sun and blue skies and bodywork and awesome food and sun and fresh mountain air and soaking tubs and saunas and hikes and a little snow, complimented by all of that sun and blue skies.

I had an excellent time in santa fe, obviously. Skiing in Taos was very awesome, despite the fact that I did not have a proper coat or jacket or any ski goggles. Photos to come of me in my cotton puma jacket and sunglasses doing my best to brave the elements.

My cranial sacral teacher is awesome. He's Belgian and very funny and most excellent at what he does.

Anyway, I am in my bed now, after rescheduling my client this afternoon because we live in the arctic circle. I have 2 clients this evening that I think we can make happen but if one reschedules, I am rescheduling the other one.

I mainly want to blog about the young client I had last night, perhaps you all saw my fb status regarding her session which was great and quite entertaining. There was a LOT more said that I did not mention on there..

Her grandparents are regulars and they thought she would like massage so they paid for a half hour for her. She came with her grandma and initially was refusing the massage unless her grandma was in the room too, so I said thats fine, why don't you both go in and she can get on the table and then we'll see how she feels, so g-,ma got her on the table and then sat in the waiting area. I went in and asked her if she ever had a massage, told her what I thought I would do (her neck, shoulders, arms and back) asked her is she was ticklish and then asked her about school and stuff. She is seriously the chattiest person ever - she told me how she likes to massage peoples shoulders at school and asked me how I got a job at rivers edge. Told me all about her friend who steals stuff from her and the girl in her neighborhood who threatens her if she ever goes on that girls street. She asked me if I have a dad, I said yes, and she asked me if I wanted to know why she lives with her grandparents, i said sure, so she told me her short version of that undoubtedly long story (her words:)- her mom died in the bathtub, she had a seizure, hit her head and drowned. Her dad then had the 4 (i think) kids, and they were living in a truck in a really bad neighborhood, so her grandma took her dad to court and won. Her grandma told her dad that he could call or visit but he disappeared and they haven't seen him since. She said " I don't think they looked for him very hard". I asked her if she remembered her mom or if she was really little, she told me she was 2 and so she does not remember her moms voice, i said, yeah it is hard to remember stuff when from when you were 2 or 3. I told her that my mom died 3 years ago because she had a heart attack and she said " Oh! That is soooo sad!" I said yeah it is sad, and it was kind of weird because she was not sick or anything. She then told me how her mom died in the house that they live in and the bathroom is right by her room - I asked her how that was for her, was it weird and she said yes, sometimes she thinks she sees something in the bathroom but then it's gone and she has to pass the bathroom to go down the steps and she doesn't like that. She jumped from that topic to about 27 other topics, seamlessly - justin bieber, their cat and dog that died (she accused her uncle of killing them, he may very well have..), the cat and dog they have now, her 14 y/o brother who thinks that god is fake, the fact that she loves coffee (do you drink a lot of coffee?, I asked - no, i'm not allowed to anymore.. she had just mentioned how she is the shortest person in her grade despite being the oldest (when i saw her i thought she was 7 - seriously - she's almost 12) so I put in my 2 cents about how coffee will keep he from getting tall. I explained that i was going to have her flip over and was describing the face rest and how to use it, when she cut me off saying " oh, yeah yeah I saw that on Friends! I watch Friends". She asked abut my ear plugs and told me she wants to get her tongue pierced, and maybe her lip.

It was very cool to work on a kid, this kid is fairly unique, I would say. i have a new respect for her grandparents ( i never knew the story, just bits of it, and their other son, the uncle who lives with them, was banned from R.edge by my predecessor b/c they bought him a GC and he came in drunk and I guess he is just a slimy loser, based on that AND my other regular who is a neighbor who has an ongoing fued with them b/c the uncle vandalized her garage and something else (he is in his forties, this unlce..) west park dra- ma!

anyway, new respect for those 2 but I think they might be in a bit of trouble with this one... I certainly hope not, but she is a freaking fire cracker.

Switching gears completely, I just want to say that I am doing my best to read more rather than watching TV on instant netflix more (friday night lights, you guys, I'm in love with Tim Riggins and I keep googling pictures of Taylor Kitsch, who pays Riggins, which has made Perren, with his bad habit of using my laptop, very jealous, which is what you get for using my laptop).

Anyway I read Just Kids by Patti Smith, mainly because I did a paper on Robert Maplethorppe and censorship when I was a freshman in high school, excellent book. I think I am FINALY going to be able to finish body of work by christine montross, and can not wait to get harry potter #2 from the librbay, it is there waiting for me!

Vikki, I was thinking, couldn't you get books form the library and take a picture of each one as you finish, or, there must be some sort of virtual book shelf online... you could save some $.

Thats all for now, I just want to say, while there are few things worse than someone in your life turning christian, at least she has not also turned republican.

My nanny's gone christian

2011-03-09T15:07:00.004-05:00

So, last fall, I found a neighbor who was interested in "nanny sharing" one day a week. It filled a need for us, of finding childcare for the days when I'm interning, and the family lives just 2 blocks from our house. Any hesitation I had in the beginning had to do with the other family, who seemed nice, but the mom is known as a bit of a whack-0, high-strung, disorganized, mean-to-the-help sort of woman. I know all this because a good friend of mine used to be her nanny.

But, we were in a bit of a bind, and this arrangement fit our needs perfectly. And I really liked the nanny. She's middle-aged, friendly and flowing, loving towards my son, caring, very likable. I got good vibes from her from the beginning.

Over the weeks and months, we bonded over our shared disdain for the "other mother" and tried not to gossip too much about the things going on in their house that we just didn't understand. She confided in me that she is lesbian, and has been with her partner for 25+ years, and how deep their love was for each other. I asked her advice about things relating to toddlers (she's been a nanny for 15 or so years). One day, about in December, she tells me that she and her partner have started attending the church that is within shouting distance of my house. Its known for its liberal views and is popular among the GLBT community, especially so because the pastor is openly gay. She told me, "I'm more of a spiritual person, but it feels nice to be part of a community."

I started to have some twinges of concern, but its not like I can shelter my child from religious people, they are all around. Some virulent strains have even infiltrated my extended family. So I know how to smile and nod and avoid comments when I don't feel like engaging in dead-end discussions about how fucked up organized religion is.

Then, about a month ago, the nanny requests to be my friend on our social networking site. Hmmm...I hesitated, but decided to accept her request. I was interested to see what she was posting, and come May, when my internship is finished, I probably won't be sending my son to her anymore, so at that time, I can always remove her from my list of friends.

So of course I checked out her page, and noticed A LOT of crazy christian postings about loving her new church, how awesome it was to be a new member, how she prays every day!, asking others to pray for her!, and so on. So, okay, she's gung ho religious now.

Our weekly interactions began to be peppered with her comments about loving church, my child being a gift from god, blah blah blah.

Then, today, I go to drop K off and WHAM! I'm accosted by the GIGANTIC cross hanging around her neck. Oh! Its Ash Wednesday, you say! Huh, somehow, I managed to completely block that from my personal calendar.

So I guess its now official: my nanny's gone christian. Its just so hard to find good help these days. I can only hope my cleaning lady doesn't turn on me next.

quick comeback

2011-02-23T21:02:00.002-05:00

protestor outside of clinic to Silk on her way in this morning :" Today could be the day you accept Jesus, blah blah blah...(no response, just heading inside) ...You need a heart transplant, ma'am"

Silk: "You need a brain transplant, sir".

BOO-YA!

Is it, can it - could it be?

2011-02-14T20:28:00.002-05:00

Could this be the end, the end of the bullshit? The end of the waiting? The end of being ignored and blown off by the state med. board of ohio? The end of paying them, hating them, wishing they would all die and fantasizing about driving down to stupid columbus and going completely fucking postal on their asses?

It APPEARS

to be over.

I received a letter from those bitches the other day.

The letter stated that my application has been reviewed. However, questions 23 and 24 were somehow not included in my application (! ?...really? no way!) So if I would please complete the enclosed copy of those questions and mail it back to them ASAP. Failure to respond ASAP will result in delays in the sending of my license as a result of passing the June 2010 exam. (Did you catch that part about my license?)

Let me tell you about those important questions that were omitted from my original (well, my third) application -

23. (paraphrased) Are you currently taking any controlled substance that may impair your ability to do massage therapy?

24. Are you currently taking any illegal controlled substances?

If yes to either, please explain.

I sat for a second and thought about different ways in which I might just fuck with them via my answers to these questions. Piddy, sitting across the table from me took a lengthy hit off his on hitter and exhaled it in my general direction. "Maybe I should tell them about your drug use", I mused, "Do you think they would like to keep tabs on that? They might..."

I promptly checked NO to both and addressed an envelope and stuffed it in there. Walked it down the street to the mailbox that night (our mail man can NOT be trusted to pick up outgoing, or do anything else, at all, for that matter. That is it's own whole post. INEPT, y'all...)

So here we are! My license is not in hand, but I understand that it exists! I am all done! Investigator J. Lewis decided I am legit enough to not bother criminally investigating or pursuing with fifth degree felony charges. Yipee.

Putting the form in the envelope, I muttered out loud about how I can't believe those fuckers, and then I called them the plural for the N-word, in a total Dr.J/ Louis CK moment - it's nothing to do with race, somehow the word just comes out - who knows!

I feel like this whole ordeal stemmed in part from my issues with authority - I have no respect for it, and pay it no mind - and while I nearly had to pay for that at least in some annoying way, I ultimately did not which is fucking sweet. Go me. Of course it stemmed in a much larger part from the S M board of Ohio being very, very fucking stupid. ANd thats got shit to do with me.

I would like to send a shout out to Jho and medUSA for having my back as clients. V, thanks for listening to this saga as it unfolded and always affirming that it was total bullshit and I just need to fucking move already. To my brother, thanks for the legal council, putting my mind at ease and offering to come to Cleveland to have my back.

I still would LOVE to sue them, but don't think I have any grounds. In fact I am sure I don't. Whatever. I also want to write a letter to those fools advocating that they make some serious changes to a number of their policies, especially those that impact people who choose to go to school out of state, but I don't know.. don't know if I will be doing that.

ANyway, thats that.

ALso, I worked out today for the first time in about 8 weeks, so thats good. I am making chicken soup right now, had the day off but went to do a massage on the east side and got Tommy's carry out. Can't beat that shit! ALso I am finaly reading Harry Potter and it is great.

Peace out -

Updates, Haps, Etc.

2011-02-10T10:09:00.002-05:00

Inspired by Silk, here are the recent happenings from Mabel Court.

I'm slowly but surely getting my resume out and about with the goal of finding an adjunct teaching position...time to put that Master's degree to some use, eh?

I'm also in the process of applying for my state of Ohio counseling license, and if Silk's experience with the state boards is any indication, I don't anticipate it being an easy or efficient process. I think they just harass us in an effort to get us to keep throwing money at them until they finally relent and give us our license.

Young master Kai has added some nice words to his repetoire, including thank you, more, mine, and what's this? Very exciting. Unfortunately, he's also come down with his 10th cold of this winter season (not an exaggeration, folks...I wish it were), so despite the sub-zero temps in Cleve today, we are going out to target and the bin to stock up on supplies and avoid cabin fever.

We're also picking up something special today...I had a natal chart of Kai done and its ready! I'm excited to see what it says...

We successfully installed the Wii Fit, so now the pressure is really on to get in some workouts...

Well, that is about it. Kai is napping and I've got some work to do for my psychopathology class. Silk, Medusa: its time for a new lexulous game.

Silk, Piddy: its time for another sequence night.

Everyone: Peace and I hear birds chirping, spring must be near!!!!!!

se me olvido

2011-02-06T17:52:00.002-05:00

thats I forgot in spanish.

I forgot to mention the point of my previous post, which is that I really don't like how days off from work turn into full days of running around, house stuff, etc. This seriously seems to happen to me every Sunday and Monday, altho Sundays are occasionally a do absolutely nothing day. I also occasionally manage to fit in fun stuff - case in point dinner last night at Alaturka - really good! (new Turkish spot on the west 2 5).

I also forgot to mention that I found myself Friday night watching tv and tuning into Barbara Walters' special on heart disease, in particular open heart surgery to avoid impending massive heart attacks. I was not particularly taken with this special, I felt the advice offered was 100% useless to someone like myself with no health insurance (yes, yes I'm working on it) and a hella low income. The advice given was essentially - get your ass in to NY Presbyterian hospital (this is like where ALL rich people go!) and have lots o' tests done and if surgery is indicated they will crack your chest no problemo and get you back in effect.

Barbara Wawa, Letterman , Robin Williams, Charlie Rose and Bill CLinton all members of the cracked chest club (their words) talked about their experiences. It was interesting enough to hear about, refreshing to know that folks survive that on the reg. but really, where is the information for people who are not loaded celebrities? and , frankly, doctors know what they know and it is not that much. One of them had passed a stress test, several of them had no symptoms or easily ignored the minor ones they did. I don't know. I watched it hoping to get something out of it and didn't (my bad, i know, it's a b w special..) I was also fairly incensed by Tim Russert's son saying point blank to the camera - "there is absolutley no reason for someone to die suddenly of an unexpected heart attack this day in age" - REALLY? HMMmmmm...

Maybe there is absolutely no reason for anything, jr., but it all still happens.

on time

2011-02-06T15:51:00.002-05:00

Well, here we are - 2011. While I've transitioned pretty seamlessly, not missing a beat when writing the date. etc. it is still kind of strange to stop and think about. That's time for you.

Shit I have got to do today:

* IMMENSE amount of laundry, in the works

* take the IMMENSE amount of recycling and drop it off, Oh to live in a place that actually cares about it and picks up recycling..

* do something with Rufus before he kills us all due to lack of exercise/activity

* get these hand me downs over to Mabel Ct.

* finish calculating how much I made last year for tax purposes

* grocery store, if only for a few basics

* treadmill, jones - treadmill

Tomorrow includes seeing my therapist, seeing my chiropractor, WW meeting, stopping in my bank to figure out the best way to avoid being charged $15 per month to have a business checking account - really? No. and a friends birthday get together, and getting ready for work on Tuesday.

Things I have done thus far today:

* eaten oatmeal, drank small double mocha

*surfed the nets, read up on JD Samson who I ALWAYS thought was a dude, wonders never cease

*Lexulous

* got some shit together to try to get some health insurance (grudgingly, but people like my dad keep harping on it, and then I get concerned about what if I DO get cancer in the near future - )

* laundry, random light cleaning

*shower -way overdue - I'm sorry but it's so true I have been too lazy/ work days have been too long and sleep has won out, so good thing today is Sunday

* watched a few minutes of the puppy bowl on animal planet - so want one. but not now.

I have also of late caught a few episodes on the A P of Confessions: animal hoarding, and all I can say is YIKES yikes yikes. I guess it is like any other of those shows - train fucking wreck - the people harding cats are particularly tragic and I gather smell like nothing else on this earth, except perhaps a vat of pure amonia. Tragic. Thank god for animal planet, helping where it counts.

I should go take this recycling and carry on, Rufus is losing it.

Medusa, did you know that you alone rock the dreads amongst our CLE posse now? That's right. Perren done transformed on us.

More later kids.

Caption Contest #2

2010-11-16T17:38:00.001-05:00

Caption Contest

2010-11-16T10:02:00.002-05:00

how about an extensive rant?

2010-11-14T11:57:00.003-05:00

****NOTICE : this was going to be an easy like Sunday morning post, then I started typing about "the house" and my related frustrations, so it is totally NOT an east like Sunday morning post.*************

I don't know. I mean, I'm glad we have not thrown in the towel. I hope we never do. Jho, you could take pics of Kai, I could take pics of Rufus and we could do caption contests. I love talking for Rufus, or more specifically when Perren does, hours of laughs for me. Of course that is probably couple humor that would not translate well.

Here is what I've got to share on this Sunday:

I've decided to start going to weight watchers meetings. I get the sense that it works better than anything else out there. I have to decide whether to go to the once a week meetings downtown or out in rocky river. I just want to lose 20 lbs - that's not a lot. It's not 50 or 100 or 200 lbs. Kevin, the wise personal trainer told me that fitness/weight loss is 80% food, 20% exercise and left to my own devices all I am capable of doing is THINKING about losing those 20 lbs. and how great I will look and feel, as I proceed to eat whatever I want and way too much of it. So we will see how the watchers works with that. I'll keep you posted. Often, when examining my body shape in the mirror or reflective glass of my shower, I am amazed that this is what it has come to look like and I haven't had a baby. What if I had one - what then - I mean jesus christ. I don't expect understanding here, you people don't see me naked. And clothes - CLOTHES have become such a fucking issue - flattering clothes that is. And it's annoying. That is all for now.

I'm going to clean house today, which reminds me that as far as blogging and blogging regularly, all I can think of to post about on the reg. would be stories from P-term and abortion related information and issues that this christ forsaken house that will never, ever be finished in the true sense of the word allowing for a comfortable home that can accommodate guests. and I just don't feel right about taking to the world wide webs with stories of other women's business from work or rage fueled rants about why in the fuck this house is not done (***..yeah I typed this and I thought it true too but the I just kept typing, therapeutic blogging, I guess...***) and why so many things that have been done have been done half assed (not by my bf/lp (thats life partner, and is an inside joke)) but by a certain toddling someone, the workings of whose mind have got to be one of the great mysteries of our time. I've been accused of not being patient, which makes me laugh. But it also makes me not express my frustrations, if that is how they are going to be perceived. I'm not a princess, I don't have expectations as to how or where I need to live to be comfortable. I am pretty flexible, actually. It's just that - who would think it would be a good idea to move 2 huge hairy dogs into an incredibly modern house, every square inch of which is wide fucking open to collect hair dust dirt, etc. - and a yard? no, no yard - the empty lot next to the house needs to remain separate so that a house can eventually be built there - when will that happen who knows, no plan, who will finance that - ditto - but don't bother fencing it in for your huge depressed dogs b/c that fence will have to come out when a house it built there. mmmkay. Who needs closets, shelves, towel racks, coat racks or any type of storage area in a home for 2 adults and two said dogs? TOWEL RACKS, people - 2 bathrooms, 2 showers not a one TOWEL RACK or hook or NAIL in the wall on which to hang a towel. Why don't I just buy a towel rack? Because, I bought 4 portable closets, a central air conditioning unit, a king size bed, a dyson vaccuum, an industrial mop and bucket, a shower curtain and tension rod for the shower with NO WALLS that spews water everywhere and so on, that when I think about buying a towel rack or replacing/fixing the front door under which rain water flows freely or buying another portable closet to put inside of said door for coats, etc. or putting a wood floor down in the basement or fixing the faucet handle on the basement shower, the only usable shower, so that you don't have to stand outside of the water stream for 5 minutes applying the exact amount of tension to the handle in order to turn it to adjust the temp. which goes from freezing to scalding in .008 of an inch, I just can't bring myself to go ahead and do these things and pay for these things because this house was not my idea. I live in it, and I pay half of the mortgage loan which isn't technically that b/c we don't have an occupancy permit - isn't that hilarious!? Yeah we've live here for 8 months now - anyway - I'm happy to pay that and half of the bills and all. My frustrations don't come from the lack of things happening quickly - shit with houses can take forever, i get that, but the way I see our situation is that if I don't financially take care of things, who will? How is P going to budget any one of these things as far as his income? It's not possible. His parents took out a loan that finished the major construction - the tile floors, wood floor, counter tops, kitchen, bathrooms, stair case and then before finishing the basement, the landings, replacing the huge window with a BB gun hole in it, putting actual steps up to the door or out of the back sliding door, the toddling one takes the remaining money to put into a house down the street that is going to land him IN JAIL if he doesn't do something with the exterior/ interior of it as it has sat empty for probably a decade. So you see, my frustrations are that I don't see any of these little things or big things happening ever, there is no plan, just a never ending half way there. I'm sure it is partly because I am virgo, and I want to button things up a certain way and have money in the bank to do so and so it's really hard not to. Really, really hard for the virgo. Also, need I remind anyone who knows me at all that we may all die today, or tomorrow, or next Tuesday? I am patient, I have extensive patience but I am also realistic and pessimistic and really not comfortable with wasting time.

My point is that I bought hooks for towels at home depot like 3 months ago, but they aren't hung up. So towels are used and then slung over the clothes drying rack upstairs, often one damp towel upon another which is just. not. effective.

That is basically my point.

I mentioned to P a few weeks ago some of how I felt, and about money and projects, and he reinforced that I need not spend my money to finish up this house, I shouldn't, sit on that money and so on. So I am, but that does nothing for my being so frustrated. if I said fuck it and did sink money in to this house, a big part of me feels like that says I am down to live in this for ever or for a long time which I am definitely not. My dream house is somewhere else out there, not here on the corner of 28th and Chatham next to an aerospace machinery factory.

Any advice or thoughts? Should I be looking at the bright side of living in this really cool house? Would you be frustrated? If so, what would you do about it?

A new look? Something? Anything?

2010-11-10T20:03:00.002-05:00

I feel bad that our blog has not been updated for awhile. Do we need a new look? How can we get blog-a-licious back to where we started from?

In an effort to jump start things, here are some random musings from my day.

***

I did something today I truly did not think I would ever do. I put my 14 month old on a waiting list, a freaking waiting list, for a pre-school. WTF, I said to myself, as I filled out the form. And I am parent #32 to do this! And there are 6 people on the waiting list for the year after! These people have just had babies, and yet, they have the presence of mind (or lack of perspective) to seek out the waiting list for a local preschool. And, really, this is not an elite institution. Hmmm.

***

My husband just said to me, and I quote, "Dude, I think the Confederacy is going to come back". We just finished watching Jeopardy!, and since it was the college edition, we were feeling pretty smart by getting most of the answers right. Well, right after the end of Jeopardy!, the Country Music Awards started, and we watched the opening sequence. S was a bit horrified to learn that one of the more popular groups of the night are called "Lady Antebellum". Guess this means we will not be moving south anytime soon.

***

My favorite local newspaper columnist just wrote today that she quit her job at the PD and has opened a new clothing boutique in a local neighborhood. She's following her dreams, and I must say, as corny as it sounds, I'm starting to feel a little inspired myself.

***

Random Question: Should I purchase an iPad?

***

Well, that's all I have. Since Modern Family is pre-empted by the CMA's, I'm heading to bed.

Goodnight, blogging world.

Yes, Finally, Part Three

2010-10-19T20:21:00.003-04:00

Yes, I am that lazy. That's the question you were asking, right? I mean, its been a month since I last posted and I've no good excuse for not finishing. As one reader put it, its like I'm stuck in

the middle of labor!! I must finish!

8:00 a.m. Enter new mid-wife, Rachel. Overnight midwife Leslie doesn't even say goodbye. Hmm. Anyway, in retrospect, Rachel was the BEST person that could have ever been my midwife for the deliver of K, so it all worked out. She comes in, all bright eyed and actually excited about me having a baby. She's the only one in the room to be so happy. Husband looks unsure, unsettled, and tired. I don't know what to expect. She doesn't want to check me, because everyone is sure that I can't have progressed to much, blah blah blah. I let her know that I've been having contractions consistently, though thanks to the epidural, I am feeling no pain. Okay, she says, let's see how it looks.

And I about die when she tells me, "Wow! You are 10 cm! You are READY TO PUSH. NOW."

I look at her and reply, completely matter of factly: "No, I'm not."

"Oh, but you are! You are ready to PUSH!! Soooo exciting!" as she puts on her gown and motions for the nurse to come over and start setting things up.

"Um....wait a second," I stammer. "I'm really not ready for this! I think I need a little time."

"Okay, well, let's go! How do you want to start?"

So, with a frantic call into my mom from S to say, "I really hope you get here soon!", and then, it all begins. I push and push and push to no avail. "Let's take a break," says Rachel, and she bounces out of the room. At this point, in walks student nurse Katie, a young and very happy, perky, personable little creature. She comes over to me and tells me she is so very honored to be there because she has never seen a birth before! And she is so excited to share this moment with me! Apparently, before I got the epidural, I agreed to having a student nurse observe. Whatever, I think.

At some point, my mom and Silk join the room and its almost like a party! Around 10:00 I start pushing in earnest again, and I've got, like, every person in the room helping to hold a leg or an arm, or whatnot. I'm yelling with effort, and I believe I describe it like "trying to push a cruise ship out". I get frustrated that everyone can see the head, but they can't just reach in and pull him out. At some point, I notice a young jewish man, wearing one of those jewish hats, standing there watching, apparently he was an EMT student. Awesome.

I'm getting to the point where I think that this baby is just not going to come out and they are going to have to somehow get him out for me. Rachel looks me in the eye. "Listen up, Jess," she says. "You can do this. You and me, we are gonna get this baby out. He is ready to come out. You are ready to push him out. I need 2 good pushes and you'll be holding him. Are you ready?!" "NO!!!!!!!!!" I scream and with that, I push and push and then OH MY FUCKING GOD, there is baby K. And he is perfect. And everyone in the room is crying, even the jewish emt guy and my little student nurse Katie. Everyone is just overcome with emotion, it was an incredible moment.

The rest is just a blur. I will never forget the moment I first held him and realized that I had just actually, truly, really delivered a baby. My baby! It was an awesome, amazing moment. And that, my friends, is the loooooooooooooooong version of baby K's arrival into our world.

Recent Haps

2010-10-17T14:54:00.002-04:00

Speaking of dreams, mine are out of control. This started when I started re reading SK's Bag of Bones, and I can't figure out if that is the reason or not. I'm thinking not because I am barely into the book and it is not very scary, though it does have that edge to it that most of his stories do. So maybe it is a factor. In a few of my dreams, death is the focus - not mine but people I know, and I guess the post death shock and grief process is more accurately the focus - maybe the book but certainly I have death on the mind, nothing new there. In one totally scary dream, I was chased through a house and into a bathroom where I slammed the door in the chasers face, and I fell back into a bathtub, and realized I had no pants on, and woke up.
I probably should have just kept that to myself, but there it is. In the final dream that I can remember, My front teeth had been knocked out and I was explaining this to Perren. I've heard that teeth dreams indicate money issues on the mind, which would be accurate.
Anyway, not at all what I am here to blog about. Here is some news from the new job : One of our Dr.s who I have not yet met b/c we are there on dif. days, woke up last weekend to approx. 40 protestors outside of his home in Cleve hts. He has 2 kids ages 4 and 6 who looked out the windows and thought there was a parade going on. I don't know how their parents explained it to them, but eventually the older one asked if Dad had done something wrong. Shittiest part of this experience for the doc was that when he called the po' to report the people, the po' responded with "yeah, we know they are there. we can't do anything about it" This has sparked all sorts of conversation and a lot of people seem sure that while there is a law in Cleve hts. against picketing there is an exception - literally a clause - when it comes to abortion. I find this hard to believe, and others were suggesting that the po' wont do anything about a residence being picketed if the picketers are on the sidewalk and tree lawn. EITHER WAY, I am sure that if 40 people gathered to protest something else, ANything else, the po' would have been all over it. This sucks, obviously, and b.c. the doctor was shaken and upset, people at work were concerned about losing him, recognizing that it would be totally reasonable for him to decide that it simply was not worth it, if his family is going to be fucked with like that. He has not indicated any such thing, but was upset as I am sure his wife was, and voiced is concerns about the fact that they walk their oldest to school in the morning. One of the nurses suggested a sprinkler system that soaks the tree lawn as the best way to avoid a repeat. He just couldn't believe that the po' did not give him a heads up to expect all that or to get his kids out of the house. This was part of the 40 days of protesting - pray to end abortion - and becasue we are half way through the 40 days (of nonsense, as my boss calls it) she went out in the middle of the day and purchase ice cream sundae fixings for the entire staff, it was amazing - anything you could think of to go on ice cream and LOTS of it. Ironically enough, I had just sat down with my huge salad for munch when the ice cream bar appeared. People started mocking me when I tried to focus on the salad so I said fuck it after about 5 bites and hooked my self up with the bomb sundae.
In more positive and exciting news from work, the marketing director asked me if I would be willing to be a model for an ad campaign they are getting ready to launch. My face will def. be on literature, possibly a couple of area buses and - if they get enough funding, maybe someday even a billboard. Fucking Fabulous. I can not remember exactly what the text says - something like My abortion, My decision, My story - lets start a conversation, something like that. The idea is not just a pro choice message but to encourage women to stop treating abortion like a super secret horrible deed that you never speak of once it's over. My first reaction when she asked me was that I've never had one, didn't want to be misrepresenting, but she said that is not what the text is saying and also that they were going to hire a model and that would be some random who would not necessarily have had one. So I said OK. I have long thought that this country is SORELY lacking in pro choice bill boards, - I've never even seen one and god knows how many pro life ones are plastered all over Ohio not to mention the South, - gag - so I will be super psyched if it gets to that level. May even finance it myself, I think Dr. J would like that. ANyway I will certainly show you all the final result post photo shoot which should be a riot. I don't know why, but I think it should be.
In other news I am going to buy a treadmill because I need a lot more exercise in my life and that has got to be the way to make it as easy and accessible as humanly possible. I mean, you can not have other people exercise for you, it just doesn't work that way.
I'm off to enjoy the lovely Fall Sunday
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Dreams

2010-09-30T09:58:00.002-04:00

I had a very, very, vivid dream last night. It involved an ex-boyfriend of mine, one who I dated for several periods of time, interspersed with long periods of not seeing or talking to each other. We first met in high school, had our second go around in college, and had our third and fourth (and final) encounters in our 20s.

While overall the relationship was good, it ended very badly. Really, it was awful. There was your typical drama: a screaming phone call (which, ironically, was him screaming and not me--surprised, aren't you?), harsh words, things spoken that can not ever be taken back. It was one of the true confrontations I've had in my life (I avoid confrontation--at all costs--some day I'll tell you how I broke up with another long-term boyfriend, or rather, never seemed to break up with him...).

Anyway, about a month after this big blow out, I met the man who would become my husband, and life moved on. I've thought about the ex every now and then, and about the good things, but always remembering that truly ugly phone call. He even emailed me about a year after it happened, very close to my wedding date, and apologized for how things went, and said he hoped that life was treating me well, etc. I never replied.

So, it was a little unnerving to have this dream about him. We were both running, in opposite directions, down my old street, and when he saw me, he stopped and pointed, and somehow we ended up talking somewhere, for a very long time, about our relationship. It was so vivid, that when I woke up, it took awhile for me to realize that this had not actually happened.

I spent the next day in a state of I don't know what, but agitated/confused/conflicted were all part of it. I searched for him on-line (ok, seriously, what did I do before facebook and linkedin and google?), and found out quite a bit of information, and started to wonder if maybe I shouldn't email him and apologize for my own role in our harsh end. I feel bad about never responding to his email.

However, I don't think I will do this. One of the "rules of thumb" I use to gauge whether a behavior or action is acceptable is how I would feel if my spouse/friend/whomever would do it to me. And I feel uncomfortable enough with contacting an ex-boyfriend, and with the thought of my husband contacting an ex-girlfriend, to not send off an email.

But I'm curious what others think. Is it okay to be in touch with former significant others? Are there levels of contact that make some of it okay, some of it not? For me, part of what makes me feel so uncomfortable is that there was so much good in our relationship. This was a person that I did think about marrying, at some point, even though some important things of our relationship were not right. Can a person truly be friends with someone with whom they once shared a close, intimate relationship?

Part Two

2010-09-18T16:39:00.007-04:00

My apologies for the format of Part One: for whatever reason I can't fix the spacing of the post, and even though I'm frustrated with it, not enough to figure out how to fix it. Oh well, here's Part Two!

So, after having my WTF revelation, which granted, when you are mere hours away from pushing out your child, seems a little late to be panicking, things went from pretty good (I mean, really, I'd had no contractions, so I was still kind of in denial about what was about to happen) to really bad. And fast.
So, when they gave me my pill of Cytotec, the nurse said, and I quote: "This is only your first dose. You will get a second dose in 6 hours, and 6 hours after that you will start pitocin. You will almost certainly need pitocin, because this pill has never helped anyone go into labor. I'm not even sure why they are giving it to you." Great. So, in my mind, it would be at least noon before I would even begin the actual work of labor, and maybe I could catch some sleep before then? My husband certainly thought this would be the case, and he promptly fell asleep on the little pull out couch next to my hospital bed. Because of the cytotec, I had to be hooked up to a heartrate monitor, so I was restricted to certain positions on the bed, which combined with my anxiety and racing mind, resulted in no sleep for me. Which allowed me to be perfectly certain of the exact time when I experienced the worst fucking pain of my life. At exactly 1:20 a.m., my entire body was wracked with pain, so strong that it caused me to scream and curl up on my side, making the heart monitor go crazy because it lost contact with whatever it was monitoring. Up jumps my husband, in rushes nurse, and casually sauntering in is Leslie, my midwife.
Nurse looks at me as if to say, "Um, I just gave you that f'ing pill 90 minutes ago, nothing should be happening now."
Husband looks at me as if to say, "Was it really necessary to wake me up with that banshee-like scream?"
Midwife looks at me as if to say, "I thought you were prepared for a natural childbirth?"
The next few hours are a complete blur, what I do remember are mere snatches. I remember Leslie rubbing my back and shoulders, telling me to simply breathe through the pain. I remember going into the bathroom, sitting on the floor and putting my head against the metal railing because I was so hot and it was so cold, and thinking to myself, this is undescribable and unbearable and I want to die right now. Part of what made it all so hard was that the contractions came one right after the other with about 30 seconds inbetween. Really. Apparently, cytotec has this effect on women. Making it a poor choice for inducing women who will probaby go into labor on their own if left alone. I do think I would have fallen into that category if given time, but I wasn't and I feel my midwife gave in to the doctor on call in pushing for an intervention...but that's a story for a different post.
Anyway, the contractions were coming, literally, nonstop, with no reprieve, not even enough time for me to breathe inbetween. The nurse looked kind of shocked, like she had never seen this reaction to this drug before, and I think this because she immediately became very nice and sympathetic towards me.
This continued until about 3:45 a.m. at which point the midwife decided to see how much I had dilated and the result -- a mere 3 c.m. Seriously, people, I almost lost my shit and killed my husband right then and there. Why him? Easy target and he was looking at me like, "What is up with all this drama? Didn't she think it would hurt?" As soon as Leslie said "three", I knew the gig was up. If I continued to progress at this slow rate, that would mean at least three more hours of these contractions, and I knew I just couldn't do it. I was already exhausted and pushing wasn't even on the horizon. I cried "epidural" louder than I've ever shouted I word before in my life.
Of course, because we had talked about this before, Leslie looks at me, and says, "No, no, you can do this! You don't need an epidural! You are strong!" and some other bullshit, I don't even remember what. Husband is looking at her like, "What the fuck is your problem, give her some meds or I'm going to" and the nurse, who by this point is my biggest fan and looks like she herself regrets giving me the stupid cytotec, just rubs my back and nods and says, "its okay, honey, its okay...whatever you want to do is okay." Consensus was, someone please do something to get this woman to stop screaming and start breathing. An epidural was thus ordered.
About 30 minutes later, in walks the resident who will administer this life saving drug. Those were a loooooong 30 minutes, my friends, a long 30 minutes. I mostly remember laying on my side, praying for something, anything to happen. So, here walks Ms. Suzy Sunshine to give me some relief. The best words out of her mouth? "I'm going to give you a little extra, because I think I went a little too left instead of dead center." Thank you! I'll take it! Instant, and I mean instant, relief was had. A huge sigh was heaved by all in the room, and probably the next room over too. At this point, everyone assumes I'll be getting some rest, as the room is vacated, lights are dimmed, husband is back asleep. Except...
The epidural gave me the shakes. REALLY BAD. My teeth were chattering. It was bad enough to keep me from sleeping, but of course, much better than the alternative, so nothing to do but lay in bed and let things take their course. Which is right where we'll pick up in Part Three!

Part One

2010-09-07T22:02:00.002-04:00

So much to blog about...turning 31, how life has changed, etc. However, in anticipation of the biggest life changing event I've experienced so far, I decided to write about my son's birth. Not known for my brevity, it turns out I'm going to need several entries to get this all down. So far I've only finished Part One, which you can read below.

Saturday evening I attended my brother's wedding shower. Many of the women there commented on my big belly: "You're still so high!" they exclaimed, and insisted I had at least one week more of pregnancy. I was already a few days past my "due date" and was feeling rather ambivalent about it all; I knew my baby would arrive exactly when he wanted to.

The next day, at about noon, I felt something. I thought my water had broken, and upon further investigation, realized my mucus plug had passed. So, it begins, I thought, and told my husband. As I had no contractions, and knew from my extensive reading on the subject that the passage of the plug could happen anywhere from days to weeks ahead of time, I felt no rush or anxiety. We decided to check out a kite festival taking place, and it was there, three hours later, while walking around Edgewater Park, my water broke! "We better head home", I said to S, and I proceeded to lay in bed in anticipation of some contractions. When none started after a few hours, I called my midwife.

"Hmmm...", she started. "Well, if you haven't had any by 9:00 tonight, then come on in," she said, "and we'll figure out what to do."

Well, by 9:00, I had had only 3 contractions, none of them very strong. I thought to myself, "Wow, is this it? Maybe it will be just like those hippie mama's I read about in Ina Mae's book, where it just flows and flows..." Thankfully, I did not share this thought with my husband. I had planned on trying for a natural labor and delivery. I was terrified at the thought of having a c-section, and didn't want an epidural because I saw it as the gateway to other interventions, which I was against. I also wanted to be able to move around as much as possible during my labor, which an epidural does not allow for. As we drove to the hospital, I was feeling good, like, "I can do this! This isn't so bad! When will it really begin?" I distinctly remember everything about that drive, what we passed, how it was when we arrived at the hospital. It was all so surreal; this was really happening!

Upon arriving at UH, we were escorted to a lobby, since I obviously was not in distress or popping out a baby anytime soon, and as my midwife told me, when we arrived, "Its like a bus just came and dropped off every pregnant woman in labor at once." After about 30 minutes of waiting, we were taken into the triage area, where I was to be examined. This turned out to be the first of what would be several funny encounters with "students". UH is, after all, a teaching hospital, and I expected I'd have a student midwife. However, for my initial exam, my midwife brought in what had to be a first year, possibly even first week of first year, medical student, from some Arabic country, and instruct him to give me a pelvic exam to see how dilated I was. He couldn't even look me in the eye. I got great pleasure out of this, seeing as how I was still feeling fine.

Unfortunately, I was only 1 centimeter dilated. "Well........", said Leslie, my midwife. "Hmm. Um. Well, in general, we like for you to deliver within 24 hours of your water breaking, because of infection possibilities. So, um, I think we're going to have to give you some pitocin, to get you going." Well, after reading nothing but horror stories about pitocin, and the kind of contractions it induces, I was not very happy to hear that. Thankfully, my husband took this moment to step in. He asked, "What about that gel we learned about at our last appointment, the one that will help ripen the cervix. Can't Jessie have that instead?" Leslie considered for a moment, then decided to consult with the physician on call. He agreed with S that the gel may be used, and in fact, why not try the pill version of this gel, which is supposed to be milder, and may help get things going. "Great", I thought, "I just need a little push to get things going" (no pun intended).

I was a little concerned when Leslie brought me my pill of Cytotec (which, as it turns out, is a BAD, BAD DRUG, more on this later!). By this point, I had been moved to a private room, it was about midnight and you know how everything is different at night. I sat there, staring at the baby warming table, and all of a sudden, it hit me: I was about to have a baby. Somehow, sometime soon, I would be giving birth to my son.

Oh. My. Fucking. God.

I. Am. Not. Ready.

For. This.

Just so we're clear: I stole this idea

2010-08-20T09:26:00.007-04:00

Top Ten, Summer 2010 Redux Edition

After reading my favorite blog which recently posted its summer top ten list, it seemed like a good format to share the highlights, and some of the low moments too. Silk, I hope you'll also share your summer edition.

1. We survived a trip to Italy with my in-laws. Yes, Italy was wonderful. It was amazing. The food was incredible. I want to live there. But not with my in-laws. 'Nuff said.

2. We honored Aunt Karen, in a beautiful service that she would have approved of, 100%. It was a small solace in the wake of her death, but still, it had a healing effect. I think about her and Aunt Helen almost every single day and hope that if there is something happening after this life, they are together. And then I think, how could they not be?

3. Baby K's sleep dramatically improved. I did not think this would happen. Around last September 20th or so, I came to the conclusion that I would never sleep more than 2-3 hours at a time, for the rest of my life. And this was a HORRIFYING thought, but I was so mired in the muck that is infancy, I refused to believe anything else. Slowly but surely, he's coming into his own. He's still not a great sleeper, but it has gotten better, and I'm starting to feel human again.

4. Baby K also successfully made his first long road trip! First flying 10 hours to another country, then driving 8 hours to what at times felt like another country (W. Va. Tam-a-rac, need I say more?)! Truly, it would not have been possible without my partner in crime, the ever patient and loving Aunt Sarah. And upon arriving at our destination, we had a great weekend visit with my cousins, including my own personal highlight, young O remarking on the "big fat lady" in the pool--unless, was he talking about me? because...

5. LISTEN UP EVERYONE: Unless you see a head emerging from a woman's vagina as she bears down with great effort, and sometimes even then, please refrain from sharing your observations about her stomach or asking about her pregnancy. Because she is probably NOT pregnant.

6. Moving on. This summer also marks the end of my year long maternity leave. And while I'm technically not returning to work, I will be at a school two days a week, as a counseling intern so that I might finally finish my master's. Just 600 direct service hours stand between me and my state license. YES! Bring it!

7. My favorite food find of the summer was Mitchell's Homemade Key Lime Ice Cream. I kid you not, it is the most delicious thing you can purchase in a pint size. I am pretty sure I consumed 5 or maybe 6 pints of it all by myself this summer (see #5). It is really good. I've decided to stop shopping at the local place that sells it, because I am unable to resist buying it every time I set food in the store.

8. Despite lack of sleep and sometimes, a lack of interest, several good books were read this summer. I'll be damned if I can remember a single title though. Just a few days ago, I brought home a book from the library and started reading it, made it to page 50 (!) before I realized I had read it before. Then realized I didn't really remember the story, so decided to re-read the book. Was not any better the second time around, and have promptly forgotten the plot anyway.

9. We embarked on one of my least-favorite tasks in life: car shopping. I despise the process of shopping for a new car. Maybe its because I really hate figuring out how much money we waste on cars. Maybe its because I hate dealing with schmoozy salespeople. Maybe its because my husband loves two things: a challenge and to bargain. Me being an introvert who avoids confrontation at all costs is not the ideal companion for this process. However, he insists that I join him on this search. So far we've visited only two dealerships, which stories are their own post, they are that good. Really.

10. And, to sum it all up, perhaps the most anticipated event of the summer has come to pass. At 11:30 a.m. on August 20 in a really big courtroom in downtown Cleveland, with a group of 40 other immigrants and their cheering, crying families, Taj took his oath of naturalization and became a citizen of the U.S. In addition to representation by the Daughters and Sons of the American Revolution, the proclamations by our State Senators, and the waxings on of the presiding judge, the Board of Elections very convienently provided voter registration forms so that all these new citizens can be eligible to take part in the November elections. Taj promptly signed up and then made a beeline to the post office to apply for his passport. I must admit, I got a little teary eyed myself as we watched all the new citizens pose for photos with the judge and their families. It was nice to see so many people excited to become Americans. Took some of the negativity out of my heart.

And that, my friends, is our Summer 2010 in a countdown. Bring on Fall!

Blogging while Baby Watching

2010-08-13T09:47:00.002-04:00

Baby K is currently enjoying himself by emptying out every drawer and cabinet in our kitchen, thus providing me with some uninterrupted blogging time. Hard to believe that one year ago tomorrow, my in-laws got off the plane and invaded our home; Baby K was one month from arriving, we were enjoying a beautiful and relatively humidity-free summer, and I was blissfully unaware of the ugly side of infancy.

I'm working on a post to commemorate the birth and early days of Baby K, but as he turns 11 months old, I'm struck by the things I really didn't know. I truly didn't think he would sleep so little. In such spurts, as he is known to do. I didn't know how fast the time would go, even though some days felt like an eternity. The days are long, but the years are short, says my friend Jen. She had her second child a month after I had Kai, and I continue to marvel at how she was able to juggle a 2 year old and an infant. I was barely able to take care of Kai and myself!

Tonight will be the first time I do not put baby K to bed. I will be in an air-conditioned movie theatre with my friend Jill (wife of Phil, who I woke up this morning when I called their house around 8:30, and despite this he was freaking hilarious, as he always is); we are going to see Eat, Pray, Love. The husband will be in charge of bedtime and all its rituals. I am anticipating that Kai will either cry hysterically until I get home or until he passes out. Both thoughts fill me with dread, but I know we have to start making the break of bedtime and mom.

In other random news, we get a new washing machine today, to replace the one whose motor ran non-stop for about 6 hours yesterday, filled with water, almost flooding our basement, and making me think our house was haunted. Every time I had to open the lid, I expected some poltergeist to come wailing out. So we are all a little low on clean laundry, but hopefully the situation will be remedied soon.

Because of the insane heat and humidity, we have basically not left our house for the past 2 weeks, except for outings to the air conditioned mecca of target and dave's. Thus we have no encounters with toddling bruce, wacky library patrons, cooing hispanic grandma's or any other neighborhood folk to share. Although, grandma did take Baby K to the local splash park yesterday (same location as Aunt Helen's tree) where 3 young african-american girls positively gushed over Kai (according to grandma, they petted him, complimented his eye color and repeatedly said he was the cutest baby they had ever seen). Thus his fan club begins.

Tuesday--again

2010-08-09T15:22:00.002-04:00

Since silk has taken up the slack the past few weeks, and baby k is napping, i thought i'd try to share some happenings and whatnot. however, i just realized it is in fact MONDAY, despite what i typed into the title box. oh well, it will probably be tuesday before i finish this and post it.

not anything going on in the o.c. i start a part-time gig next week, with the intent of getting my 600 hours of supervised counseling experience finished by may 2011 so i can get my p.c. license. basically, in ohio, you pay some random state agency several hundred dollars for the privilege of working as a counselor. now, if they provided some meaningful guidance or oversight, this might be okay. but, they do not. instead, they make you take an exam (at a cost of an additional $120), which you only need a 50% to pass, and then they remind you when you need to do more supervised hours. this is not, in my opinion, responsible, ethical, or comprehensive and yet, we are bound to the system. one giant f you, to the state of o.h. and my check is in the mail, please send me my provisional license so i may start my part time job.

it is, once again, hot and humid in n.e.ohio, so our air is chugging along, but our washing machine broke today. not what i wanted to spend $500 on right now, but it beats the alternatives. considering someone was recently shot and killed at the local laundromat, and i'm not interested in playing "pioneer days" by doing my own laundry, that is the price we will pay. in the meantime, baby k is wearing the same outfit as yesterday, but he doesn't mind.

well, he's still sleeping so what else...anyone hear from klassy? thought of her as i visited honey hut last week and sampled a chocolate malt...it was good. although, someone else recently suggested that i was pregnant, making this the second time in as many months that, despite having a 10 month old baby on or near me at ALL FUCKING TIMES, people assume that my small, almost non-existent belly must mean baby number 2. well, obviously they do not know that until i get at least one year of 8 hours of uninterrupted sleep every night, there will be no baby #2. And on that note, baby #1 is now stirring, so let me sign off and try to write more l8tr.

It's Tuesday again

2010-08-03T20:44:00.002-04:00

and I really feel we need to move these old posts on down the line, however I don't have a formed full post to share, so, some tidbits:
I observed an abortion today, as is required for my new job. It was a much quicker procedure than I realized, which is a good thing all around. I was told before hand that the most difficult part for an observer like myself is usually seeing the woman in pain or discomfort, which I would say was accurate.

I got totally lost on the east side this morning, it was fucked up, I hate map quest because they are such LIARS, and while the maps application on my phone helped and ultimately got me there, I kind of hate them too because I don't know at any given/time place which was is north, south, east or west. Assholes.

I have not been feeling very well - frankly, J.ho since the Texas BBQ, however I do not blame the BBQ, I seem to have some combo of a cold and a stomach bug - sweet. Hopefully done with that. As a result, I spent the ENTIRE day yesterday watching TV, which I have not done for ages and ages. I'm on a big without a trace kick, as I have never watched that show and can now DVR all the reruns, which is like 3 reruns a day.

P - diddy is presently at an 8 hour training on addressing racism through musical theater or something like that, which I can not even imagine what is going down with that. Would like to be a fly on the wall, tho. Probably fairly entertaining, especially since he is there along with every single employee of the theater.

Not much exciting, as you can see. Post something, J ho - you have Kai! Let's see some photos, or hear the latest on his tiger roar or perhaps his bowel movements.

Advice from a Tuesday

2010-07-06T23:34:00.002-04:00

If you are at a point in your life where you may be considering things such as primal scream therapy, electroconvulsive therapy, going on a USPS style rampage or kicking someone's ass at random because you are just a -ragin' away at the stressors that abound, might I suggest an hour of cranial sacral therapy.

Holy. Shit.

I strolled into a room today, fully expecting some great relaxing bodywork, a release of tension from the problematic right side of my jaw, and perhaps some deeper insight into myself and my issues. What I ended up with was the most intense and effective therapy session I have ever experienced during which I cried like I have never before in my life - seriously, in all my life.

So. I'm glad I got that out.

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Go, now, and look through the Greatest Mel Gibson Gallery known to man on Celebslam.com, you can link to it via the Superficials posts from today. Read the captions and laugh and laugh and laugh as laughter is also most excellent therapy.

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There is NO reason not to eat ice cream every single day that it is above 90 degrees outside. OK, lactose intolerance is a totally good reason but get that Breyers lactose free vanilla and carry on. I'll be here with the mint chocolate chip.

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Make big purchases that are super useful. It's fun. Got me an air conditioner outdoor condensor unit and the snazzy pad upon which it will be perched when some nice man, hopefully in the next few days, hooks that shit up to the ducts of my house walls. (Related advice - should you build a house that mimics a greenhouse and also an oven of sunlight, A/C that bitch stat because you are going to need that in order to... survive, yes thats it. In order to continue breathing and moving about the world.

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Good night, Have a great Wednesday.

2 years

2010-06-24T20:23:00.002-04:00

today could have royally sucked. For some asinine reason I thought that it would be a-ok to have it be my first day back to work after 10 days off (though I did need to you know, start generating a modest income again at some point sooner than later). I've been a little distracted, so did not give a lot of thought to today before it was here. I was a little worried, then, to find myself sad, being at a place that reminds me so much of my mom and aunt karen since they both spent so much time there. However, I made it through unscathed, no worse or sadder for ware. I worked on my clients, ate my dinner, chose the food for Karen's memorial service, got a nice card in my mailbox form someone I barely even know.

The main reasons today was ok : a phone call from my brother which left me with the visual of my mom rolling off of a couch then nearly peeing herself with laughter (something that came to me multiple times while working and made me laugh aloud), the fact that I got breakfast lunch and dinner to go in one stop at Gypsy (peanut butter cookie shout out) and the fact that I ended up with one client for tomorrow evening, who is awesome and a good friend and has sacrificed her massage to be rescheduled so that we may instead meet and drink martinis.

My intentions for the rest of the evening are to watch some television in order to avoid conscious thought/ processing of emotions and if my energy holds up, take a big ass night time downtown cleveland bike ride.

Great Escapes

2010-05-29T07:34:00.003-04:00

Thursday was a hard day, emotionally. I came home, put the baby who screamed (for 45 minutes the entire way home, through his bath and pj's, and for a good 10 minutes in his crib) to bed, and went to my own bed. No dinner, because my husband decided to work late, and he had planned on cooking. He came home a little later, ready to be pissy at my poor attitude re: dinner, but successfully redirected his feelings once he heard about our day.

Part of what was so hard was something I remembered, very randomly, that day.

Approximately 2 years ago, I took a road trip with my two aunts. We piled into Aunt Helen's car and took off for DC, where my husband was attending a conference and my cousins now lived, and we were going to have a weekend together. En route we stopped at a rest stop and had a picnic lunch. It was a beautiful day, warm and sunny, great for driving. Aunt Karen sat in the back the entire trip, reading and snoozing, and chatting with us. They had recently returned from a trip to NYC together with our other aunt, and had a great time. One of the highlights for Aunt Helen was a picture she had snapped of Aunt Karen sleeping in their hotel room. Aunt Helen found this photo to be particularly hilarious, because Karen was propped up on a pillow, with a curler in her hair.

"Doesn't she look like she could be in a casket?" she said with a little glee. I laughed. She did.

We went on to drive through Breezewood and stopped at Starbucks and got ready for the final hour of driving. I snapped a picture of Aunt Helen behind the wheel, sunglasses on, singing along to something.

We ended up having a really good weekend, visits with family and friends, eating goat, and then of course, the car ride home, this time with my husband along. It was, by all accounts, a successful and fun trip.

Of course, I had no way of knowing what we would know just two years later. And when the memory of my car trip with my two aunts came back to me, on the heels of an already emotionally difficult day, I just kind of lost it. And needed to make an escape. So I called in reinforcements (husband--who has every other Friday afternoon off) and left for 2 and 1/2 hours of pure escape in the form of an air-conditioned movie theater and Sex and the City part 2. It was great!

Of course, just doing that brought up another slew of memories, because I watched the first SATC movie with Aunt Helen, our neighbor Katrina, and one of the RR board members. A theater full of women, with the requisite two gay men, and Aunt Helen's comments throughout the movie made it hilarious. So yesterday's escape from reality allowed me to remember one of my aunts in a fun way, with the luxury of being alone and not responsible for anyone but myself for a few hours. That, in and of itself, was the true gift. And gives me some strength to face what the coming weeks will surely bring.

Random May Musings

2010-05-27T10:37:00.002-04:00

Unfortunately, there really has not been much to blog about, here at the blogalicious. Sure, there have been some funny random encounters w/ Toddling Bruce (including one where I walked up with the baby and he whipped out a camping chair from his trunk and encouraged us to sit and visit on his 'plot' of land).

There has been the requisite family drama, complete with the "emergency" medical needs of a family member who, in my opinion and diagnosis, always needs to have the attention of his spouse and when her attention is diverted, he manifests something to bring it back. There's some psycho-babble and universe-messaging for you.

There is also the anxiety producing trip to the Old Country coming up. If we survive the plane ride, I'm sure we'll be able to survive 10 days in Italy; at least, that is what I'm telling myself. I feel like I've just gotten the baby in a good schedule, he naps regularly, he's happy and content, things are going well. So I'm sure this trip will completely fuck things up. And we'll never find this happy little routine again. Which if you know anything about me, you know that I love my routines.

Today we were up very early, so we took an early walk through the neighborhood. Its my favorite time of day to walk, apart from being tired, as it allows me to gaze at the gardens and homes of others and daydream about our next step in life. We're spending the rest of the day running errands (hello, Target, we're here for our daily visit) and then probably a low key evening at home...my favorite kind.

So you see, not too much going on. These are some of the long days (at time very lonely) of being a mom. My next door neighbor had to return to work yesterday, after six months of maternity leave, and I feel so bad for her. Because honestly, the one thing that would really, really suck would be to have to go work all day and then come home to take care of the baby. It would just be exhausting.

On that happy note (ha!) peace out fellow bloggers!

Guess Whose Coming To Spend The Weekend...a.k.a. Under Pressure

2010-05-06T10:39:00.003-04:00

On Monday, Taj had a surprise for me. He was very excited about it. "I have something to tell you," he teased over the phone, "and you'll have to wait until I get home to find out what!" Well, I could guess what it wouldn't be: the chance to sleep in, just once, in the next 5 months or so; a beach vacation in the next 3 months or so; a limitless supply of ice cream that wouldn't make me fat, etc. I digress. And I must admit, I wasn't too excited about it, because I had the sneaking suspicion it involved a houseguest. I do not live in a house that avails itself to guests. I also do not maintain a standard of cleanliness or neatness that makes me feel comfortable having guests (especially when those guests come from a different country where servants are the norm for a particular socio-economic group. but now, i'm giving too much away). Anyway, the biggest reason I don't really care for guests at this point is because my beautiful baby gets up very early and requires attention and so forth, and I do not like or have the energy or desire to do anything other than tend to his needs and stay in my pajamas until at least 10:00 a.m. Its the best I can do knowing that I won't get to sleep past 6:30 a.m. until at least September 14, 2010. But whose counting?
On with my story. Husband comes home and shares his surprise: a visitor from India who happens to be a very good friend of husband from high school, they have remained close ever since. This friend is very kind, nice, polite, and fun. He is interesting, he has a lovely wife and a sweet daughter. He is also a millionaire who lives in a mansion outside of Hyderabad and has more servants than I have immediate family. The few times I've visited his house I've been in awe. It literally sparkles. And shines. And glows. And, of course, is immaculate.
I'm sure you see where I'm going with this. My anxiety kicks into high gear. First of all, H's wife probably doesn't even own sweat pants, much less lounges in them late into the morning. Not to mention, our house is (to put it mildly and nicely) cluttered. And dusty. And our guest bedroom is in our basement. With more clutter. And the washer and dryer. I could go on.
What to do? Well, I've made some attempts at cleaning and organizing, but really there is only so much space to work with. And knowing my husband, he'll go into a fury of his own tonight, shoving stuff into closets and drawers, to give the appearance of neatness. And he'll have an attitude about it, which he normally does not. So on to the real point of my post today. The real reason I have anxiety about H's visit (and one of the reason's I dread the visits of my in-laws) is because I feel that when these people come, I have to somehow prove myself to them, that I am a good enough wife for my husband (who is adored by all of these people). That even though I'm not Indian, I am acceptable, and even though we were not matched together through some archane parental-controlled scheme, we are a good pair, we have a good marriage, and I am a good wife. Never mind that my husband picked me! Never mind that he is very happy in our life together! (Really, he is. He tells me. Repeatedly. There is a reason, he says, that he lives here and not there. There are many reasons, actually.) Nonetheless, I feel threatened by the perceived judgement from these people (and not so perceived. There is also the judgement expressed by his family. For example, his father told me that everyone in India thinks I am wonderful; in so many ways I am just like a good Indian wife (I'm paraphrasing here, obviously) with one exception--I don't speak their language. If I only made an effort to speak telugu, I would be perfect. I was 9 months pregnant when he told me this. In August. When they had moved in for 2 months. Uninvited. Again, I digress).
I feel the need to convince everyone in my husband's Indian world that I am not just a good wife, or mother, or person, but the right person, the best wife, the best person. And why? Its exhausting. And probably unnecessary.
As far as his friends are concerned, that is my husband's burden. This is his house too, and if he is concerned with their judgement, well, he probably isn't. Because he wouldn't be friends with them if he did. And, this is how we live. There are no servants in America. There are cleaning people, but they cost money, and they come once every 6-8 weeks. That's how it goes. At least for us.
Regarding his family, well, I have a feeling that no matter what I do or try, it really never will be enough, because no matter who their son married, or how they met, or how they live, none of it can overcome the stereotype they choose to accept for in-law relationships. And they have decided to buy into the typical relationship portrayed in every bollywood film, that the parents-in-law and the daughter-in-law will never get along and will never really have a good relationship, because it just isn't possible. Plus, the son always sides with his wife (if only they knew!! I mean, they did come live in my house for 2 months at a very inconvienent time. not my preference, for sure.), and because they believe this dynamic to be the rule, I can never win.
On that note, there is (as always) more to say. But I have to go kiss my baby and take him for a walk, and finish puttering around the house as we wait for the arrival of H.

I've developed a wicked crush on Jon Hamm

2010-05-04T13:05:00.002-04:00

I had to tell someone.

Tuesday

2010-04-27T11:47:00.002-04:00

I had a thought @ some point over the weekend to compile a post of a few of the best stories/memories I have involving me and getting really high. Inappropriate? Let me know. This is stemming from reminiscence of the day that my ride to school had with her a quarter ounce of high quality green stuff, which she decided we should eat (all of it) before we entered school that morning. (one of the)Best day(s) of my SJA career.

You can not raise Kai in Nashville. He'll be stifled, not to mention forever changed by the country music scene. I know Klassy is there, but just visit her. Tampa I don't even have to argue, do I?

I'm gradually starting to exercise @ home. My set up is on the 2nd floor and involves 2 yoga mats, a jump rope (love it), yoga ball free weights and a stretch band. If i don't lose some fucking weight, and soon, I am going to - well, I don't know what I'm going to do, but it could be ugly, I know that.

I am taking this review class for the Ohio exam in June - saturday mornings is the class, and the guy teaching it is one of the best teachers I have ever had across my educational experiences. He gave us DVDs to help learn the muscles of the body, I started one the other night. He names the muscle, where it originates and inserts, then he draws that muscle with a marker on a model. Naturally, he starts with the glutes, so I start this DVD and there is some person, their head cut off by the camera angle, in a thong, and he proceeds to draw the muscles on at a time on this persons ass. Hilarious. Honestly, though, a good example of this mans teaching genius. He really knows how to break things down and explain them. Not to mention I will never forget the image of him drawing on an ass, therefor can picture the glutes, clear as day.

I have decided to lay off on pleasure reading for a bit to focus on massage stuff. I was reading some stuff by Studs Terkl (Hard Times, about the Depression which to no ones surprise could have been written over the past 2 years or so - oh, circle of life). I worked myself into a frenzied overload of nutritional input by delving into the Abs diet, then Anti Cancer, then Healing with Whole Foods, Jesus Fucking Christ, could science just give me the pills to take to meet the ideal nutritional needs to lose weight avoid cancer and be the picture of health? Please? Is it too much to ask? Come on bitches, it's 2010. --Anyway, no fat dairy? full fat dairy? eliminate dairy? (no, to that last one) Peanut butter? almond butter? Avoid tahini(!!) and replace with SESAME BUTTER!? I am not Asian, Paul Pitchford. I am so NOT Asian.

So, I'm just going to try to cook or have Perren cook more whole grains and legumes. Thats all I got (eying the empty plastic cup on the table that once contained an iced mocha, however, it was 2/3 toddy, I do what I can, Thank you) - which reminds me , we will have Internet and cable and DVR @ home on Friday - can you believe it. It's with Time Warner so it better not suck balls. A guy Perren knows ( he lives by you JHM and he was on Jeopardy recently and won) just settled a class action law suit against AT&T who settled for over 3 million because he investigated and revealed that he and his neighbors were paying for high speed DSL and ATT was capping their service so that they were not accessing the speed of bandwith that they were paying for. I am quite certain that P and I were experiencing this on W 30th St. b/c the shit was sooooooo slow and the router/modem were right next to the computers. Sneaky bitches better not fuck with it this time around, or they're going down.

I am off to take dogs to park and proceed with day.

Random Notes

2010-04-26T20:01:00.002-04:00

Sitting in yoga class last night, for the first time in more than a month, I let my mind wander (it is sooooooo hard for me to pay attention during yoga class), through many topics and places... the class was small, perhaps because of the concurrent cavs game? I always like it when the classes are smaller. I get annoyed when there are more than 3 or 4 other people there. Last night, there were 7 of us, and the sun moved in to the room beautifully as it began to set, highlighting the one empty spot in the middle, and I couldn't help but think of Aunt Karen, who usually also attends this class, but who was also absent yesterday. It was a sad and beautiful moment, all in one.

-----

Baby Taj scooted forward today in what could have been a crawl, in his furious attempt to grab a book, which he just wanted to put into his mouth. I'm pretty sure he's teething, because he is in a near constant state of annoyance and agitation, shoving everything into his mouth with a ferocity that is astonishing. Whip out the baby motrin, get out the frozen fruit and teething rings, and start mental preparations for the first bite.

-----

So, the person I want to "de-friend" is someone whose parenting styles are VERY different, and thus incompatible with mine; in addition, she does not have good boundaries and she tries to make plans with us A LOT. She is annoying and is not undeterred by unanswered phone calls or ignored emails. I find myself caving to getting together, because it is easier, and because I have not yet worked up the courage to just say NO. So, I probably will have to move to ditch her. Maybe not far, but definitely without telling her.

-----

On the topic of moving, taj told me recently that we will almost certainly have to move in the next two years, to allow his career to develop and grow, and whatnot. Location: who the heck knows. Anywhere he finds a suitable position, I guess. The one position he has already been recruited for has offices in Nashville or Tampa. I'm not impressed.

-----

More random musings later!

Keep 'em coming

2010-04-20T08:08:00.002-04:00

Strong work, Silk, on the gypsy blog post. Yes, the spinning is at Fit. Let's do it.

Have been having some very. serious. discussions. lately w/ the spouse. having a baby is stressful, yo! but that cutie is sitting right here, next to me, going crazy with a pillow and a toy...he is pure happiness. almost time for some cereal and beets. maybe some daal. we're going crazy indian on his food training.

so, a question. this may be better suited for an email, but since there are only a few readers of the blog...when you are in a serious, committed relationship (call it marriage, call it whatever, but you are in it for the long haul), what do you do when one of you changes their mind about a not-so-insignificant decision and the other one will not budge or compromise on the decision? does this question make sense? if yes, please give me your advice. i need it.

in other news, baby taj is rolling all over the place and i swear to god he did a mini crawl yesterday. i am so not ready for him to be mobile. he visited his cousin scotch yesterday and was so completely entranced and excited by this encounter, we may have to get a dog. the things i will do for this baby.

well, off to clean up before friend #1 stops by for a (hopefully) quick visit--reminds me of an upcoming blog post and poll for our readers: how do you stop being friends with someone?

later today we have some baking and then friend #2 is coming over for dinner. she will be bringing her baby, who is exactly 2 months younger, yet 2 pounds and 1 inch bigger, than baby taj. he's a cutie, though. makes me laugh when people tell me that i have a big baby (which they do, a lot). i just think to myself, well, you should see this other baby! he's ginormous!

peace out bloggers. don't forget to give me your feedback and marital advice.

New posts - double down!

2010-04-16T13:49:00.002-04:00

I am at Gypsy with latte and internet, and it is a rainy day to boot. Excellent. I truly respect how Moms go to battle (passively or aggressively) like no other. It certainly makes sense, maternal instinct and all. I have a theory about the McMahon sisters as new Moms : perhaps they were lucky or perhaps the universe provided because there is no way in hell either of them would be up all night with a baby with any sort of regularity. They just wouldn't, which relates to my other point that I think their husbands did an awful lot in those early weeks, more so than most, because they had to. I digress.

Just noticed this lawyer guy, I think a Cleveland Public defender who is in here all the time seriously engrossed in playing bejeweled blitz.

Is the spinning at Fit?

Went on my first bike ride of the season last night, it was sooooo nice out. I got kind of annoyed because we biked from our house to west 76th and everyone started hanging out there drinking beers, and therefor not bike riding. I tooled around and took a battery park bike tour - crazy! There are TONS of suburban like condo residencies back there, blocks and blocks of them. I had no idea. We then headed over to the Parkview where I think they are serving the best fries around, FYI. I really like taking to the streets on my bike with a big group of people, but maybe not so much a big group of drunk people focused on bar hopping.

I finally secured Mad Men season 1 disc 2 DVD to discover that the disc 1 blu ray contains all of those episodes except the very last one. Christ. It was not that great of an episode, but we noted that my new pajama pants from old navy matched the pajamas of don draper.

Listening to the monsoon style rain on the skylights and steel exterior of the house, highlighted by the honking/beeping of the shipping receiving intake vehicle of Voss Industries this morning, I contemplated the fact that I am fully prepared to go live on a 5 acre farm. Outside of C'ville, I think. Lets keep that between us. I mean, there is no way I am moving anywhere for a while, too tired. Don't want anyone to think I am not enthusiastic about the cool house in which I now get to reside but I kind of wish we could pick it up and move it elsewhere. It's kind of loud. And there are lots of other people living very very near by. I see them every time I exit my front door. Could do without.

I wrote the previous like 4 days ago and then the gypsy lost power and after 10 minutes or so it had not come back on, so I rolled out. Now I am back on this lovely Monday evening. downloading this weeks episode of breaking bad and perusing the blogs and all.

Yesterday was like the weirdest day ever. We began the day with me really pissed at Perren for being a big ass, I even declined COFFEE in order to not accompany him on the coffee run, went about my morning, went to the market cafe for breakfast (by myself) , reconciled shortly thereafter and proceeded to the baby shower we were invited to. We left the shower to go home and prepare for the friends we had invited over, we basically had a raw bar spread of oysters, clams and shrimp, an impressive cheese and crackers selection, a bottle of champagne, etc. Perren went NUTS cleaning the first floor and plating all the food like an Iron Chef. Then our friends cancelled due to the fact that they "got to talking about some stuff we really needed to talk about and it's pretty emotional" Whaaaaaaaa?

So, we called Alexis over and tore. some. shellfish. up.

It was freaking delish!

Right now I am sitting next to a couple of crackers on their first date, and I really must bounce. Plus my left contact has been crap all day, can't see shit out of my left eye. More later.

Excellent bloggage on make it stop! We of the blogalish are planning a c'ville visit in July, because we cant swing the nations capital in the next 4 weeks.

Demanding a new post!

2010-04-15T14:31:00.002-04:00

Thanks to some gentle pressure from our readers (all 1 or 2 of you), I am attempting to respond to the demands for a new post. This effort is possible, because my baby recently learned to sit on his own, and he is so excited to be able to sit, that this entertains him for several minutes in a row! I can get so much more done now!

Many things to comment on today. I apparently jinxed myself by announcing to the facebook world my good fortune of having baby sleep 10 hours in a row! This, of course, opened me up to many unsolicited comments, most of which just annoyed me. Seriously, people, my baby is 7 months old. All your little tricks are not going to help me help him sleep. I've tried everything, I've heard everything, please do not think it is because he is hungry. He is not. He gets fed a lot. He is just not a good sleeper. I hereby resolve to never make the following suggestions to new mothers:
1. Sleep when the baby is sleeping
2. Offer my unsolicited sleep advice.

If someone asks me, great. I'll talk until I'm blue in the face. I am, myself, not a good sleeper and have never been able to nap or sleep during the day. Please do not treat me like I am high maintenance because I don't nap when the baby does. I simply can't. If you want to be helpful, come over and get up with the baby when he wakes up throughout the night. Or don't, and just shut up.

I probably should just post all that on facebook and be done with it.

Other news:
1. Briefly considered purchasing the iPad, as we need a new laptop, but not impressed. Its just a big iPhone, that you need to buy a keyboard for if you want to type more than an occasional haiku. Bull-shit. I'd rather have a mac book anyday. Not sure if my checking account agrees. We shall see.

2. Tickets for Rome have been purchased, allowing the in-laws a chance to see the baby, who looks nothing like an Indian. This greatly pleases me. He is sweet, chubby, and a beautiful olive toned baby. He will not be separated from his Mama. I love this about him. Its also what drives me crazy too. But I secretly love it. I pretend, in front of his father, to be annoyed by the "separation anxiety", so that when it happens in Rome, I can say "I try! But really, he prefers only me! So don't touch him!"

3. I am unable to give up my crack-esque addiction to dairy products, and as thus, still look 4-5 months pregnant and my baby has eczema. But, his eczema is not that bad. Really. I'm not lying. Its just a patch. I will keep trying to break this habit, though, as I would like to lose some weight. I did just sign up for spinning, though! Sweet! Tuesdays, starting in May. Silk, want to join?

Well, that is all I can come up with and its time to (1) feed the baby, then (2) put him down for a nap while I watch General Hospital. I mean, I would nap too, if I could.

Today was like a Bill WIthers song (Lovely day, lovely day)

2010-03-11T22:38:00.002-05:00

71 and sunny on March 11 - what!?

Free lunch @ my work place with a bonus presentation on reflexology and the chance to finally introduce myself/ talk with a woman who is also an affiliate where I work and was a dear friend of my Moms. She was totally delighted that I said hello based on the fact that I introduced myself as one of the MTs from the 3rd floor, then when she processed that I was Helen's daughter, she about freaked with joy. She hugged me, I hugged her and she exclaimed lots of things like " Oh my god, you have your mothers eyes!" Oh my god, I feel like I am hugging your Mom!" "What a great day"!

She is teaching a meditation class next month which I told her I plan to sign up for, and this only increased her delight.

Then , a 4 hour break in my day until I had clients to enjoy the 71 degrees. I came home and went for a jog with Rufus, which I had not done before, it went pretty well. Rufus is a champ, I am not surprised at all that he could apparently jog/trot for miles and miles and miles. So we made our way over to Tremonts' Lincoln park, did a loop and came on back.

Then Perren and I moved a carload of boxed books, DVDs, etc. over to the new digs.

Then, I got myself a green apple salad from the Souper Market and swung by Taj Merugu to see what was up. Fortunately, I did not set off any alarms summoning Cleveland's finest, and was just in time to see big Kai post nap, and see him devour some cereal. He is a beast!

The I had 2 appointments with one of my husband and wife teams of clients, who love their massages and give me fat tips and pay me all in cash because they know what's up- no ones keeping a record of that shit, thanks y'all!

Really, a lovely day. Tomorrow it's off to PA for a chillaxed weekend, rain, proceed, I've got books and movies, bitch.

On a whole different topic, I have been looking thru photos for the upcoming b-day observation REALLY looking thru LOTS of photos for any sign of the birthday girl. I (we) leafed thru these albums and loose photos after my Mom died so some seem familiar but it has been a while and this time I am looking more thoroughly. First awesome thing I discovered is a family photo of the 4 of us with my Moms good friend who lived in Missouri and some guy. I flip it over, and it says in my moms writing " Visiting Bruce at the Federal Penitentiary, May 1984" - Reallly!? So I asked my Dad the other day ( I do vaguely remember this guy, defintiely remember my moms friend and trips to visit her), and my dad is all " Ah, yes. He was in for murder. I think your mothers friend took up this relationship after he had been in prison for a while, she met him as a pen pal". SO, we have a family photo at some Federal Pen. Sweet, and did this influence my brother's career path? Perhaps -?

Secondly is this great bunch of photos from a 1979 trip to ocean city, NJ including my family minus me, a super pregnant DD, Kathy, my dads sister Sue, and I have no idea who else. It was clearly a rawkus good time, though. there is one page of the photo album which my mom entitled "Reefer Madness" then thought better of that and scratched it out with a pen, where reefer madness is written in permanent marker so no secrets there, and re titled one of the photos of my dad eating an enormous plate of food "Ken at his favorite pastime" which I reckon refers to reefer madness, not simply dining. Classsssssssic. Ask him about that shit, V, when you see him next week. He will totally squirm in front of the German.

In closing, I met Piddy and Sa-lex @ the Happy Dog this evening when i got off work and had myself a drink and a dog. This evenings dog I got with kim chi, cucumbers, whole grain mustard and a pickle spear atop. DE-lish.

Last one I had a few months back was the house ketchup and mustard, habanero pickled red onion and potato chips atop. maybe one more topping, i don't remember. Before those of you who are not familiar with the HD judge me, the HD is no hot dog inn. They serve you up a bomb ass all beef delish frank, no pieces, no parts, no nasty. And as you can tell from my selections, the over 50 toppings is one amazing list - brie? sure peanut butter? of course, cheez whiz? no problem for an extra buck. It's ridiculous, affordable, and I love it but fortunately do not go out enough to make a habit of it b/c even if it is a GOOD hot dog, it's still no good to do that once a week. Particularly with those fucking PERFECTLY cooked tater tots on the side.

And with that, a good night to all and RIP Corey Haim.

Today's Lessons in Parenting

2010-03-05T16:42:00.003-05:00

Please note: both lessons impart knowledge that is known before lessons are given to parents, however, parents often fail to realize that such knowledge will, in fact, become reality.

Lesson learned.

1. When eagerly anticipating the achievement of some milestone, do not become anxious when child does not perform when you think he should. As with all things in life, he will do things when the time is right. Remember what Grandma Kroeger always said: "No child goes to kindergarten not potty trained or still sucking their thumb (or using a paci?)." Remember this.

2. Real food equals real shit.

Yesterday, taj jr. rolled over for the first time, completely on his own, with no encouragement or prodding from me.

He decided to do it while I was changing his first diaper that contained REAL SHIT. Yes, those peas I so lovingly fed him came back to greet me in a form that surprised me. I've become so accustomed to the almost sweetness of the yellow stool, imagine my complete surprise when I was faced with the reality that my child, will in fact, poop. And he chose to roll in this poop, thus covering his entire bottom half. I can only be thankful that his hands were occupied with a toy, and not another part he has recently found, thus sparing me a complete breakdown.

Like I said, lessons learned.

More on Food and Beverage!

2010-02-17T19:52:00.002-05:00

Since make it stop jacked my massive commentary, I figure I'll compose a list/post of my own:

I remember having family dinners until I was in middle school or so. From there on our it was me and lean cuisine or me and my Mom and take out or me and my Dad out somewhere, generally. The home cooked meals of way back included beef stroganoff (noodles mostly for me), chicken cashew stir fry and hamburgers off the grill. I ate buttered noodles everywhere in restaurants. In high school I went through a huge Ramen noodle phase and also discovered that Kid Cuisines were freaking delicious, ate those babies for years. The best food stuff from my Dads apartment included these awesome tuna melts he would make by putting the tuna salad (freshly made) into a little pita pocket with a hunk of monterey jack cheese and warming it in the toaster oven - mmmmm. I was all about raspberry flavored new york seltzer water for a while there too. I was what you might call fat from the ages of about 9-11, in no small part because of the amount of shit I loved and lived to eat, particularly candy bars, cookies, and any sort of cake or baked good. We tended to have cookies at home, the E.L Fudge varieties. My Dad got an apartment right by a Marcs where he started getting those big soft archway cookies which i made short order of. who knows how i managed to load up on so much other junk - trips to the store with friends, etc. I went horsebackriding every saturday and was picked up and dropped off by a van from the barn. We would stop at Gas Town in Perry after every 2 hr saturday session and i would, needless to say, go fucking apeshit in the candy bar aisle ,with a soda for good measure. Speaking of soda (or pop as i usually dub it, which caused confusion @ my west coast college where they don't say pop, on a road trip i announced from the backseat i had spilled my pop and the driver replied "you spilled the pot? pick it up.") - i drank pop like it was going out of style. LOVED it. Went to a lecture at Cleveland State as a freshman where the speaker spoke about how pop depletes the calcium in your bones and basically wrecks you and kills you slowly. My friend who attended with me leaned over and said to me "dude, you don't have lupus. I bet there's nothing wrong with you. It's the pepsi."

Foods that to this day literally transport me back to childhood are cream of wheat with brown sugar all up in it and ginger ale when i am sick. My moms chicken noodle soup was always whipped up when i was sick. I can't remember the first time she made mac and cheese but she made it often when i was in high school/college and i would it it every day at least twice a day until it was gone. My dad made a wicked french toast, and would cut it up for me and one day, when i was probably 9 or so my Mom for some unprovoked reason snapped " What are you going to cut her french toast for her when she is 16?" (she must have been salty with my dad for some reason) Cut my own from there on out.

Tommys on Coventry is a point of food nostalgia, and one of my favorite restaurants of all time. My Dad and I ate there once a week for about 10 years and still meet for lunch there. We ate there as a family of 4 way back in the day before it caught on fire and you could see down into the kitchen and watch your food come up on a huge dumb waiter.

There is much more, all the meals on Riveredge with the most random assortment of people at the table (well, mostly family i guess), Maeve's clockwork vomiting into the standby bucket or bowl. I can't remember the first real thing(s) I cooked myself that wasn't buttered noodles with kraft parmesan on top... perhaps pan fried zuchinni which was then heavily salted and consumed - delish.

Soooo much frozen and processed stuff. Remarkable. And now , with my belly full of Bucci's, i must sign off.

Top Ten Food Memories

2010-02-16T10:06:00.004-05:00

Here's a Random Ten: Stolen From Another Blog Edition:

1. My favorite childhood food memory is "Friday Night Pizza". Every friday night, my mom would make homemade pizzas and we would devour them in front of a movie or playing video games, or whatever. There were always a variety, and there were always leftovers. Her pizzas are still among my favorite foods.

2. My least favorite childhood food memory is ham in any way, shape, or form. I hate ham. Once, my grandmother basted a ham with leftover juice from the pickle jar. A child of the Depression, she literally could not anything go to waste. It was disgusting.

3. I always took my lunch to school. Sometimes my mom put it together, sometimes I put it together, once in awhile Norm put it together and I loved when he did because he made us cream cheese sandwiches on toast and they were delicious. And yes, my mom usually put a little note in but no, Norm did not.

4. The after school snack was very important to me. Sometimes it was a bowl of cereal. Sometimes it was some fruit. Many times it was handfuls and handfuls of chocolate or butterscotch chips eaten directly from the bag! Mmmmmmmm....

5. Dinner as a family every night was pretty much mandatory, until I was 16 and got a job. Weeknights always included whatever uncle was living with us at the time, often a grandparent or two, many times a cousin, sometimes a neighbor. We didn't have to clean our plates, but we did have to eat a little of everything. We had to ask to be excused and clear our plates and we shared kitchen chores.

6. As noted above, we didn't have to clean our plates and I only remember being forced to eat once in my life. I was a bit of a pain in the ass at times as an adolescent and once insisted that I wanted creamed corn for dinner. My mom wasn't home at the time and Norm said no. I insisted that I have creamed corn. After a me badgering him, he told me I could have a can of creamed corn, but I had to eat the whole thing. I don't know about you, but for me, a couple of spoonfulls of the stuff and I'm done. But my pride wouldn't let me back down and I made the can, and tried, really tried, to eat it all. I failed, but had to sit at the table for a couple hours, pretending to still be eating the corn.

7. I once called an uncle a "bastard" at the dinner table, not knowing what exactly it meant, causing the adults at the table to sputter and choke on their food. Why is this a food memory? It was the first and last time I ate brussel sprouts. I'm pretty sure the uncle deserved it, by the way.

8. We were not allowed to have pop as kids, and I think we were in high school before my mom finally started buying it for home. But then, all she would buy is diet. I hate diet pop. Give me a fountain coke any day, but keep that diet crap away. We also were not allowed to have "sugar" cereal. It was all cheerios and cornflakes for us. One of my only memories of my maternal grandmother is that she always had Trix for me at her house and I was allowed to eat bowl after bowl of it when she watched me.

9. My favorite baking memory comes from the weeks my mom spent making Christmas cookies every year. Often the job of peeling the Hershey's kisses for the peanut butter cookies fell to me. I loved how the whole house would fill with the scent of her cookies. She would make at least 6 or 7 different kinds and share them with everyone.

10. The first time I cooked a meal for someone, like a real meal, with salad, entree, and dessert, was for a date with someone well known to the readers of this blog (well, 2 of the 3 readers of this blog, anyway). I was 19 and the only thing I could really make was pasta, with sauce (from a jar, of course), garlic bread, salad with italian dressing, and cupcakes for dessert. The dinner part of the date went well, as the food wasn't awful. The date did go downhill from there, though, and it took me many years before I would cook for a date again.

I'm tired

2010-02-10T14:42:00.002-05:00

I'm tired of being tired. Alas, until they approve use of Afrin for infants, or until Spring comes, I'm not anticipating getting any sleep. Poor baby still has a cold, and I'm coping by drinking more coffee. In fact, going on my third cup of the day. And, eating cookies. Lots of them. Silk, hit the bootcamp up for me too, next time you go.

I took a short walk today to get some soup for lunch and am amazed at how much snow is out there! Crazy! As you can see, not much to blog about. Its been a slow few weeks here.

I'm in complete amazement at the "tea party" movement and their "leader" Sarah Palin. There is a good article in the most recent New Yorker talking about the movement. Heard Palin's remarks to the nationally gathering of tea party-ers (do NOT want to make the same mistake some other politico did in referring to them as "tea-baggers"; not to mention there is only one tea bagger in my opinion, that would be Tea Bag Dan, we can share his story in a later post). Anyway, as I listened to the radio program and the chants of "Run, Sarah, Run", I realized how completely and totally FUCKED UP so many of my fellow citizens are. I mean, really. Really. REALLY.

I know I'm a-preachin to the choir. So may as well go make my coffee and have another cookie. Look for a more inspired post soon.

Finally, Sleep.

2010-01-25T08:54:00.002-05:00

The Mabel Offices of blog-a-licious have been a bit sleep deprived the past few weeks, what with the plague and all that has been circulating amongst the crew, and one particularly ornery 4 month old who just does not appear to enjoy sleep. However, thanks to a few tricks and liberal usage of baby vicks and tylenol, things are on the upswing...imagine, last night, we got two stretches of 5 hours each!! I am, my friends, a New Woman.

Yesterday's yoga class was another reminder that it is almost impossible for me to "stay in the moment"...though I try, it is so hard. Even during the class, its a constant effort to keep my mind on my breathing and my yoga as opposed to obsessing about the following:
1. Having another baby~~how on earth would that work??
2. My career--if you can call it that, what is it?...where will I be in 5 years?
3. The variety of business ideas I have, that I'd like to open
4. Menu items for the indian food stand I want to open at the W.S. Market
5. Back to having another baby~~really, how can a person care for more than one child?? When do you ever have a chance to shower or eat or sleep?
6. Why I never want to visit India again
and so forth...

In other news, I started a class at CSU last week...counseling children and adolescents. Its my final class before doing my internship and becoming a licensed counselor. Thankfully, my child is still an infant, so my anxiety about him, his personality, his future, will be limited. If I had a toddler or an older child, all bets would be off. Its bad enough to reflect on yourself when taking these classes...when I studied psychopathology, I was convinced I had every disorder we learned about.

Finally, I recently got a new book from the library, which can only help the quality of my posts here. "Grammar Sucks!" will surely help me polish up my musings and make them not only more readable, but hopefully, more enjoyable as well! This book is from the author who brought me "Breastfeeding Sucks!" which was hilarious and desperately needed during the early weeks of Baby Taj's life. Look for vast improvements. Notice I said in the grammar, not the quality or interest of the posts. We can only do so much.

Briefly,

2010-01-19T22:33:00.002-05:00

i had a double espresso @ 6pm, hence I have been buzzing around doing random spurts of aerobics and cleaning house for the past 2 hours. Just wanted to say, never underestimate the suction power of a dyson - mine just took in an entire sock NO PROBLEM. Like it was a single piece of hair. Had to call Perren in to extract it from the tube to the detatctchable fixture part. Amazing.

I was going to put this on FB, but didn't want to be that person.

What's New

2010-01-18T21:40:00.003-05:00

- More tattoo coloring in went down last Friday night - hurt like a wild bitch too, not gonna lie. Anyway, no more sessions until mid March so that I don't have to worry about hot tubbing in PA in March. P and I are going skiing/snowboarding @ Holiday Valley and spending a few nights on the dirt road, hopefully along with our favorite santa fe friends who are currently residing in North Carolina.

- Started boot camp this morning. Did I have to leave the room for the bathroom because I thought I might vomit? yes, yes I did. However I did not vomit, and after a few minute break, some cold water to the face and a few sips off my water bottle, and I was back to the squat jumps and jumping jacks with toe touch.

* side note about my water bottle, big C (blogname i just created for mother of P) looks at the bottom of my bottle last night and tells me I ought to get rid of it as now "they" say that anything with the recyclable #7 in the triangle is bad for you. It's a fucking NALGENE! Every hippy in the world has been rocking Nalgene for years. It's no Sigg, mind you, but those fuckers can't make a safe one either. I could just scream. Or give up water. Bitches.

- anyway, starting boot camp here, i weigh about 7 lbs. less than i did the last time a trainer weighed me, at least 6 months ago. Probably the calorie counting i got into last week, which is also probably the explanation for the dizzy spells I had last week and into the weekend. Not cool. So once again I am faced with the knowledge that I should be eating healthy meals and snacks like 6-8 times a day, a daunting, daunting reality for me. However, I have a whole new understanding of and appreciation for the smaller portion size. If i lose the highest percent of my body weight over the next 8 weeks of boot camp, I win $1,000 - how cool would that be! we shall see, but the woman who won it last year could be me - we weigh the same going in - so thats cool.

I guess thats all I have going on right now. The Hangover is NOT a funny movie, who the fuck am I listening to that gives me these impressions? Zack Galafanakis' (i have no idea how to spell his last name) character is pretty funny but certainly does not carry the movie. DIstrict 9 was pretty crazy, good story, I was really tired when watching it which took away from my experience of it.

More later -

Weekend Update!!!!!!!!!

2010-01-18T13:39:00.002-05:00

OMG!!!! We had such a great and full, full, full weekend!!!!
First, TJ didn't sleep at all for 2 nights in a row unless someone was holding him semi-upright in his chair!!!! And then, he was so super duper stuffy~~poor little guy! I'm so lucky I get to be his mom, with the sleepless nights and all, he's extra cute!!!
Then, hubby slept in and went to play v'ball all day!!! So good for him, the bestest hubby in the world, to get out and relax!!!! So mom didn't get to shower until Sunday, but that's whats great about being a mom!!!!!
Sunday, mom cooked breakfast while suctioning out baby's nose so that maybe, just for 30 seconds, he'd stop screaming like someone was bashing his head in!!!! Ha! He's such a sweetie. He finally passed out in his swing so mom was able to poke her eyeballs out and stuff cotton in her ears, to block out future scream fests!!!!
Ate some great stale falafel last night for dinner....YUM-MO!! Its so great to be staying at home at feeling pressure to cook all the time!!!!!!
So that was a whirlwind of a weekend!!!!! On to another week, sure to be awesome with lots going on, especially since mom's cold has morphed into whooping cough and baby still can't breathe through his nose!!!!!!!! YES!!!!!!!!!!

Documentary OD

2010-01-10T22:48:00.003-05:00

I got up bright and early yesterday to start my day the yoga way. I was pretty tired due to the new schedule, Perren went to work when I got home so I settled into my favorite spot, in the recliner chair beneath comforter, and cued up some instant netflix. I should start by the fact that I watched Capturing the Friedmans for the first time last week. Thats a pretty fucked up scenario right there, in my opinion because I don't get the impression that Mr. Friedman committed the crimes that he went to jail for. He seemed like a pretty weird guy, with an admitted kiddie porn problem, but I've got to say I am with the defense on the point that there is no way he or he and his son could have abused boys to the extent that it was alleged they did without a whole lot of concrete evidence.

So last night, I first watch Public Enemies, Johnny Depps latest based on the life of John Dillinger. A decent flick, a fascinating life from the 1930s so I read up some on Mr. Dillinger and associates after the film. Then I stumble across something on the instant flix called Off The Grid: Life on the Mesa, a docu about an off the grid community in the middle of the new mexican desert. I can't say that it was absolutely fascinating, but I could not look away. In part because this motley crew lives about 25 miles from santa fe so I was waiting to recognize some hippie or nutcase from my time there ( I didn't). Basically a group of several hundred damaged PTSD veterans, hippies, crack heads and alcoholics who want to live completely on their own terms. They don't call 911, they call 357, as in 357 magnum... yeah.. and some chose to raise their kids here, one single mom who appeared to be approaching 60 (hard living?) with what appeared to be a 2 year old. She, Mom, has a 5 point star tattooed right between her eyes.

Again, I couldn't look away...

Next, I moved seamlessly into Brothers Keeper, a documentary about the 4 Ward Brothers of Munnsville, NY and the court case in which one brother was accused of killing the oldest brother. THESE guys have lived in the same 2 room house their entire lives, they can not read or write, except their names (i think), and they speak in this hardcore rural dialect they mumble which is nearly impossible to understand. They were all in their 60s when the oldest died and homicide accusations were made (in 1990). Its pretty unbelievable how these guys live, and an absolutely heart breaking bit of footage with they shyest, anxiety ridden brother on the stand at the trial - Oh, My, God... Thankfully, its only for a few minutes and the judge puts an end to it. This brother, named Lyman, is the one I most wanted to meet, if only to give him a hug, or at least try to. Apparently, for their entire lives until they became part of a court room media circus, they would wear their same clothes for months at a time. They were dairy farmers, hence, some pungent odors abounding. So maybe a hug would be out of the question. Anyway, the community rallies around the brothers, and they have this neighbor who is just great, I forget his name but he helped them and often talked for them and is/was a smart guy who could see what was going on with all the media and legal whirlwind. He accented teh documentart thru out with comments such as "complete Bullshit" and "what the fuck is that? ,who the fuck do they think they are"?

I kind of want to see Up In the Air, b/c I like me some George Clooney.

Anyway, some weird shit in these documentaries, I sense I ought to take a break, and so the Hangover is next on my Netflix....

peace out, blogalish -

30 is the new awesome

2010-01-08T00:07:00.004-05:00

Some things I hope to do this year, let's see if I can think of 30

1. reacquaint myself with horseback riding

2. take karate or tae kwon do classes

3. do yoga on a regular basis

4. lose weight. Originally, I wanted to aim to lose 30lbs. This will never happen, as I love delicious food with a burning passion. 20 would be swell.

5. get the fuck out of the USA if only briefly. If not, then plan trip for 2011

6. Design tattoo for my right upper arm (or my left upper back) that is in memory of my Mom

7. Do something different with my hair - drastic cut or color change, or both

8. Cook new recipes/dishes

9. Spend less money on shit I do not need

10. Make a new friend, or friends

11. scuba dive or snorkel or both

12. get another reading by a medium, perhaps @ Lilydale in New York state

13. Send Xmas cards this Xmas

14. Take more photos

15. Execute #4 to the point where I am happy to be in more photos also . This may sound silly, but it's true! I can not even look at photos of myself, if they are at a "bad angle", it's crazy. I know I shared with V my reaction/ near breakdown when I e mailed my tattoo artists photos of my back. I was all - who is that ? yikes! - a real eye opener, folks. There is a lot of love in these love handles, thats all I am saying.

So there is 15 for you. more to come in a second installment. I started the regular yoga yesterday, with the saturday morning class. The part of my front arm/ shoulder known as the coracoid process is sore to the lightest touch today. I also started yesterday with an app on the i phone called lose it! which I think MAY work better for me counting cals. However, I dunno what on this earth will work better at making it okay for me to limit my calorie consumption to 1400 - me thinks nothing.

Yoga Thoughts

2010-01-05T09:50:00.002-05:00

I started going back to yoga a week ago, this time with a new teacher.
This past Sunday, she spoke of something in our class, that really struck a chord with me.

I should begin by saying there was a girl in the class who was new. She had never taken yoga before, and seemed a little nervous. I know her; we went to high school and graduated together. She was always very quiet and we were not really friends, though I would say we were friendly with each other. Mostly, I remember her being very, very nice and quiet.

I didn't say anything to her before class started, telling myself that she wouldn't recognize me. Who knows if she did or not (there were only 7 of us in the class--not easy to be anonymous). Mostly, I hate running into people from my past and making connections with them. Something to do with my thinking about being in "right relationship" with people and how I continually fail at this, and not wanting to really deal with it. Basically, I think its important to be in right relationship with people, but when it comes down to it, I'm kind of a bad friend. I genuinely like and enjoy people, but I'm poor at communicating with them and following through, and those things that make one a good friend. I struggle with this a lot.

So, there she was in yoga, trying to figure it all out. Our teacher is great, though, very supportive and clear and offers good insight as we practice together. During class, she spoke of letting go of our need to compete with others. I think this comment was directed at the girl I know, as she was trying so hard to do the moves right and was observing those around her more than focusing on her own practice (I think). I digress. What mattered to me about the comments was that:

1. I have always thought of myself as being very non-competitive. Truly: I don't like competitive sports, I like to play games, but doesn't matter if I win (mostly), etc.
and then it hit me:

2. I am actually, very competitive, with most people, and that is why I've done so many of the things in my life I'm not very proud of. I've spent most of my life thinking that who I am is not good enough; for a variety of reasons, and only in the last year or so have I become truly comfortable with who and where I am in this life.

3. I do have a desire to win and to be better than others--not always, and not in all things, but this has manifest itself in some odd ways. Like, my suffering is worse than yours. Or my knowledge is greater than yours. Or my marriage, my job, my commute, my cooking skills...but I can't say that my friendships are greater. Because mostly, they are not. And the truth is, nothing about me is greater or less than anyone else. Because, as I thought in yoga, all of these things are just me, who I am and where I am, and they change a lot. Sometimes they are great, sometimes they are less than ideal, but mostly they work for me. And I don't have to compare them with anyone or anything. Because that is not the point.

Now if only all these musings and reflections carry through the rest of the year as I work on letting go of anxiety and worry (something else brought up during yoga, but for a different blog post to be sure). But I'm glad for the insight. I don't think any of these thoughts would really have come to me without having Kai. For me, the perspective of being a mom has really changed how I think about a lot of things. Including, and maybe most importantly, myself.

Its beginning to look a lot like...

2009-12-14T10:28:00.002-05:00

I am so flipping excited for Christmas this year!!
I think its a combination of: Kai, being home, everyone coming into town, feeling close w/ family, etc. Its been a roller coaster of a year, emotionally speaking, so I'm also excited that things are winding down. I have a feeling its going to be a long winter, that January and February are going to inspire cabin fever. We will have to actively nip that in the bud (Silk, I'm talking to you here).

Our tree is up, and tho it is small, it is bright. We have almost all of our presents bought! Yeah! I'm about to embark on a wrapping fury, it is also one of my favorite things to do. Who knew?

Well, nap time is almost over...I guess there was no real point to this blog post, other than to share our excitement about christmas, and of course, keep the blogging momentum going :)

To add insult to injury...

2009-12-08T13:00:00.003-05:00

My darling son is not a good eater. He fusses, he flails, he gets distracted. I feel I have to trick him into eating. Like, here, son, here is the best thing in the world for you!, so eat it!

Nursing times at my house are quite a sight to see, I'm sure. If I don't catch him right when he wakes up from a nap (an optimal time to nurse, as he is groggy and doesn't know what the hell is going on and by the time he does, he's full), I have a whole bag of tricks to employ.

Sometimes I sing. Sometimes I shushhhhh right into his ear. Sometimes I rock. Recently I've started walking while nursing. I truly, in my heart and mind, did not believe I would be able to do this...walking while a baby latches on to a most delicate area? A baby described by one lactation consultant as a "barracuda", no less, which is an accurate description.

Yet no matter what trick I use, he just does not settle in for those oft-spoke of long and sweet and quiet and cuddly nursing sessions where mom and babe bond so nicely. At least the last month has proved that the pain of nursing does pass, and I prefer not to think about why (two words: tough nipples), and I was hoping that this whole business of nursing would get a lot easier. You know, just plop into my chair w/ my laptop and surf the net while he nourishes himself. This is not the case.

But I can deal with most of this. Yesterday, however, he demonstrated to me that he has a new trick, a new reason for me to dread each time we start the process of feeding him: my sweet baby now knows how to PINCH, and he likes to demonstrate the strength of his fingers by PINCHING ME VERY SHARPLY, repeatedly, during nursing sessions. All while I'm trying to keep his other flailing limbs from striking me, sometimes while I'm walking, or singing, or otherwise trying to distract him.

I swear, the first time I spot a tooth, this is soooooooo over.

In 5 Short Years...

2009-12-08T12:54:00.001-05:00

I've been close to tears for much of today, for a myriad of reasons, all boiling down to: life is NOT fair, and it won't be fair, and at some point, I'll have to deal with it.

However, that is not what this blog post is about. Its about the thought that did bring me to actual tears, many of them. I saw an article today on cleveland dot com, discussing the state's idea of requiring day long kindergarten for all kids starting next year. No commentary on that right now either. Though I do have an opinion.

Anyway, while reading the article, it struck me that little T.J. (Taj Jr.) will one day have to go to kindergarten, and in my mind, I could see his little face and his little self sitting in a classroom, with a big smile and let the waterworks begin. I know its many years off. But time has come to have new meaning since I've had a child. Time is fickle; it is fast, it is fleeting, yet the days are so long and lonely. And it actually pains me to think about my baby, who is just a baby, growing up!
I know that I'm at the beginning of a long road and still on shaky ground, not knowing what will come next.

A Visit to PA

2009-11-17T10:54:00.003-05:00

We took a quick trip to PA this weekend, and it was beautiful. The weather was great and baby taj seemed to enjoy himself. He really seemed to like the Bob Dylan cd that was played for him during his fussy time while mom and dad sat in the hot tub.

Being in PA brought back all kinds of memories of trips there as a kid and teen. Remember the trailer?? And breakfast at the Bucktail?

I was never one for camping, but think I might like to try it next summer. We hiked to Kelley Pines, and it just seemed so calm and serene...a good place to spend a few days. I can't wait to take baby taj into the creek for the first time!

This is a good movie

2009-11-12T23:42:00.002-05:00

Dr. J liked it a lot, I remember watching it with her and wanted to watch it again, it had been a long time since I last saw it. Was better than I remembered - really freaking funny! Every character is laugh out loud funny at some point, except the random hot hunk guy who has basically no character or lines what so ever.

I highly recommend watching this gem, It is really good, cute, and funny. Perren was certain he would not enjoy anything starring Cher and he was wrong - he did like it and cracked up at all of Winona's narrated crazy catholic thoughts.

Fab soundtrack.

Hello in theeeeerrre - oh ( and other tales from my professional world)

2009-11-12T22:52:00.004-05:00

I have these clients who are a lovely older couple, they are eastern European immigrants, raised their kids in the Cleveland area and reside here. They go to Florida for the winter. Mrs. V is a super nice, bubbly lady. Very friendly, loves her monthly massage. Mr. V is VERY quiet. He has a video game of some sort that he plays while she is getting her massage (she reads when she waits for him). She gets an hour, he a half hour just on his back (which is like a slab of rock , I tell you, though felt better last week). Mr. V seriously hardly spoke a word to me the first 5 or so times I saw him. He does have a thick accent, but I think he is also just a reserved, quiet kind of guy. Well, Mrs. V's Mom is alive and well in Germany at the age of 93. Mrs.V travels there to see her as needed, and went over in October. Mr.V cam in for his half hour in October, and scheduled another half hour for November (last week). He came in last week and seemed a little friendlier from the get go. After his session, we sat in the waiting area and I asked him when Mrs. V was coming back and should we schedule appointments - Yes, she'll be back Dec 1st. Despite my fearing that the response might be that she has died, I asked about Mrs. V's mom, and he told me that she was doing alright, and was coming home with Mrs. V to live with them. He went on for a bit, and I nodded and occasionally tried to verbally state that I thought this was a good thing. He told me how health insurance for the mom was a concern but the German consulate had worked with them and quickly granted permission for her to come live in the states but German insurance would not be coming with her. A few minutes into all he was telling me about, his eyes filled up with tears, which I noted , and next thing I know he is calmly crying and wiping his eyes as he continues to talk. I figure because he is talking to me about his very old mother in law and his wife who he misses and they are both getting older as well (they are in their 70s). He said more than once " I told her, whatever she wants to do, she told me she wants to tell her mother, whatever you want to do, Mom, so this is what she would rather do (over assisted living in Germany). I am also sure that being without the Mrs. for 2 whole months has left him seriously lonely and needing to chat with somebody. I sat with him for 45 minutes, the last 20 of which were ALL abut the condo he owns in Florida and how they drive down and will drive down with Mom and she will have her own room and bathroom, etc.

I was glad that I had a nice big break to sit there with him. When I did finally say " Well, I should probably switch my table up and get some lunch" He said "Yes yes of course" and we stood. I give all my clients a little dixie cup of water, and he had his empty, I held out my hand and said "I can throw that out for you" and he just grabbed my hand and gave it a squeeze, total old man style. So damn cute.

The following day I had one of my regulars, a woman in her late 50s/ early 60s. Before her appointment when i asked her how she was feeling, she said she felt pretty crummy and proceeded to inform me of her chronic UTI's (Bummer - those suck..) After the session, we sat and I stated that if she wanted to, next time we could try some shiatsu, and told her how the body has a bladder meridian and perhaps it might help and couldn't hurt. Bam - 35 minutes later I have heard WAY TOO much about her bladder surgeries and issues and on and on.

Point being here, that I thought maybe there was something in the air last weekend, but really I think there are always folks who just need to talk to someone. Hopefully, not the same folks all of the time, but we all have those stretches of time and if we haven't yet - well, I think our 60s and 70s will have at least some of that in store for us. It is good to be able to listen to and be a part of these conversations, it makes people feel better probably just as much as a massage does.

Just thought I would share. Makes me appreciate my clients and people in general more so.

On the total other end of the spectrum of my profession, some fucking freak called me 9 times in a 2 hour time frame the other night. I finished a session around 6pm and saw i had missed calls and listened to a voicemail from this guy who saw my ad and wanted to find out about making an appointment. He had called twice and left the one voicemail, so i figured he meant to leave the voicemail and accidentally hung up or something. He mentioned specifically in his message that he was looking for a therapist to do very deep tissue work, trigger point and neuromuscular therapy. I do deep tissue and learned some trigger point work. I have also been doing a lot of deep tissue work lately, and it is hard fucking work, so I was not anxious per say to get this guy in for an appointment. He called my cell again , and i thought that was strange , what would he leave a message about this time - no message - just that and a half dozen more calls between my cell and house phone. I was sitting in my kitchen eating and talking to perren, who had a lot to talk to me about, and the house phone rang twice, my cell then once. I mentioned to P " I've got some psycho calling me for an appointment"

First, P said "maybe he really needs some help massage wise"?

To which I said " ummmmmmm... no.

There is no reason to call so much, not normal. at all. who the hell does that? can you imagine doing that? you leave a message and if i call you back tomorrow, thats the deal"

P got back to what he was telling me about and my cell rang (by the way, the calls to my cell were all "blocked" after the initial 3) P answered it (somewhat compulsively I think, also he (P) was all pissed off and who better to take that out on than some random freak stranger?) I heard his side of the call which consisted of "No, I don't do the scheduling for her, but I spoke to her earlier and I think she mentioned that she got a message from you.....yeah.... usually it may take her say, 24 hours to give you a call back ..... yeah.....OK?

Gonna go ahead and NOT get back to that guy. It can be hard, wanting new clients and all and wanting to give folks the benefit of the doubt, but I learned my lesson WELL in santa fe when it comes to motherfucking ads in publications.. take no chances, listen to thy gut. I did/do kind of want to call him back to tell him that no, i can't schedule him an appointment and BTW, is there a particular reason he called me 9 times consecutively? I thought OCD, but I don't think that makes sense - does it? Maybe, maybe and OCD sufferer. WWGD - What would Grandma diagnose? I think she would say something like "a fucking psycho, DO NOT call back".

I'm going with that.

Awwwww shit -

2009-11-07T22:24:00.002-05:00

I have two (2) new posts brewing in my brain for the old blog here, I will try to get them up sunday. I would do it now as I am at home in chair with laptop however, I am watching private practice - in this weeks episode, a midget couple want a genetically designed midget baby so their baby will be like them.

Awesssssooommmeee.

Facebook Etiquette, anyone?

2009-10-29T14:22:00.002-04:00

I have done some editing of my FB friends, it seems like the thing to do. You accept the request, have this friend, maybe hide this friend and then x amount of time later you delete this friend because you don't know them from adam and you don't care to.

I remain friends with someone i graduated HS with, we were at CSU at the same time, too, and she is a nice funny girl, but there are some flags here. First off, I saw that the NE Ohio Womens Expo was bringing in kate gosselin as the main speaker, and i was appalled. WTF has she ever done for women or anyone else other than her porcupine haired self? She is a total asshole, that could not be more obvious. I had a conversation , I think with Salexis about how lame this was, and see a bit later that this FB friend of mine is attending and really excited to hopefully meet kate gosselin - yikes - she is "team kate", as they say. Strike 1.

Anyway, now this lady is putting her kids potty training updates in her facebook status, and actually they have been pretty general and just encouraging/excited about her kids progress. Thats cool, though kind of borderline in my opinion. I don't think people remember ALL of their FB friends all of the time when they enter TMI territory in the status update. Of course there are cases like CCB out there, the diagnosably insane with FB accounts and we cant do much about that or their GOD DAMN friends and their god damn comments. Here is the status and comments which inspired me to share -

Status = Potty Training Day 4, Billy went #2 in the potty chair for the first time. Then the dog ate it. Why do these things happen to me?

(Revolting, but kind of funny due to her last comment/question - acceptable for FB? hmmm...)

comment - OMG! Hyserical

comment- if you are what you eat, then your dog is a poopy! (SERIOUSLY, people. seriously)

comment - at least it was the dog, not Billy. Betty ate her own poop when she was 2!

Ok, suburban mommies of facebook, they are called boundaries for chrissake. Eating shit is NOT something the random people that you graduated from high school with want to see in their news feed. Start a fucking group for moms who need to discuss their kids shit online if you really must. Just keep your shit talk and your completely inappropriate following exclamation points off my damn page.

Am I wrong here? Here on the blogalish, I welcome posts and or comments pertaining to your childrens shits. Its all in the tight knit friends/family here. I can comfortably reply with the tale of how my dogs nearly fought over an enormous piece of some other dogs shit the other day like it was a magic candy bar snack.

Oh, and of course 2 people "liked" the status involving billy and the dog and the poopy.

What kind of world do we live in, with our internet social networks and poop talk? It's alarming.

New Post

2009-10-28T10:27:00.002-04:00

A Day In The Life...

4:00 a.m....wake to cries, stick pacifier in mouth, pray for one more hour
5:00 a.m....finally realize this is it, day is beginning...grab baby from swing and go to nurse
5:30 a.m....finish nursing, get baby to sleep on chest, get comfy in the recliner, snooze
6:15 a.m....wake to furious grunting and leg kicking of baby...realize a diaper change is coming soon
6:30 a.m....change diaper, hit recliner again
6:35 a.m....realize another diaper change is needed...he does this to me EVERY TIME
6:45 a.m....go downstairs, put baby in lamb cradle, make some breakfast and coffee
7:00 a.m....soothe crying baby who either wants to nurse again or wake up entire neighborhood, not sure of his intent
7:15 a.m....check email while eating oatmeal and holding baby and keeping pacifier in place
7:45 a.m....put sleeping baby back in lamb cradle and check out facecrack
8:15 a.m...put in a load of laundry, brush my teeth, go pick up crying baby
8:20 a.m...start nursing process again
8:40 a.m....wonder if we should snooze again in recliner or...................zzzzzzzzzzz.......
9:20 a.m....wake up w/ bad back ache, this is why snoozing in recliner is not good
9:30 a.m....put baby down to put on some clothes, ditch p.j.'s in favor of sweats
9:45 a.m....realize baby has not had any "tummy time" and attempt to give him some on bed
10:00 a.m...realize baby has not had any intellectual stimulation from mother, wonder why I'm such a bad mother, this is my fucking job after all and I'm failing every day, or so I think...repeatedly.
10:33 a.m....attempt to blog while baby cries in his lamb cradle, which does have a mirror and a mobile to stimulate his mind while I fail to do so
11:00 a.m....watch ER rerun while comforting baby and trying to avoid having him look at the t.v. screen after reading that exposure to screens causes ADD
11:05 a.m...give crying baby a pacifier, then wonder if I'm too liberal in my use of pacifier, so take it out and let baby cry before giving pacifier back to baby after realizing I can't soothe him any other way right now, because ER is on
11:20...attempt to nurse while watching ER, realize child's head control is not where it needs to be for me to be distracted while nursing, debate next step
12:00...calm baby to sleep and repeat morning cycle.

Snippets from my day

2009-09-22T22:42:00.002-04:00

This morning (bright and early), we embarked on a memorial bike ride in honor of Sylvia, biking her path from home to work. It was really something to be a part of, well over 100 people showed up. We stopped en route on the silent ride to her work to place flowers at her bike which is chained to a pole @ the intersection where she was hit. At her work place, the director spoke about Sylvia, it was quite moving and sad for everyone there. Then we all biked back to Tremont and disbanded. Couple of things -

JUST IN CASE I had not had enough "that totally could have been me" moments, upon arriving at what was Sylvias new Tremont home, Perren and I realize she had moved into the very same house in Tremont that I lived in the summer before we moved to NM.

Also, absolutely worth mentioning that I saw our boy, the Abbey Market midget starting off the ride, and coming back. As Perren said, we have simply got to get our hands on him.

Also saw Grandma and Grandpa Merugu on their way to the rapid, presumably off to the airport and then Boston. Perren shouted a greeting at them to "have a good trip to Chicago", and we both waved enthusiastically as we zipped by , I hope they don't think we are crazy (I think we were kind of a sight with our posse of 100 in white t shirts and helmets).

I am off to bed now, more later.

JHo, I don't think you are keeping up on the ol' blog here, but if you are, I hope to be able to come hang on the Banks Rd. tomorrow, and my present to you/Kai has finally arrived in the mail, I hope you dig it!

Talk about the Circle of Life

2009-09-15T19:28:00.004-04:00

I think there is a good reason why "crazy" is such a common adjective, response, random utterance in the world (or at least my part of the world) today. It is fairly often the only way to describe and or react to a great number of things.

On Sunday, I had a run in around 2 in the afternoon with some random dog walking guy. Actually, Perren , his mom and our dogs had the initial run in with him, in which our dogs startled him and his little dog coming out of Caroles garage. Our dogs were excited by the presence of this little dog on a leash and ran right up, I didn't see it but imagine all the dogs startled each other. The guy saw our 2 dogs and COMPLETELY lost his shit. I heard his screams of "NOOOOOOOO, NOOOOOOOOO!!" and wondered if my dogs were ripping the flesh off of his right before his eyes. No, indeed they were not. His little dog managed to slip out of its collar, and he scooped it up and really, other than everyone being startled, nothing happened. Certainly no dogs were hurt or anything close. This guy refused to acknowledge any of us 3 people apologizing and making sure all was ok, when he was maybe 10 feet away he angrily said "fuck you" without even turning around to direct it at anyone. When we went and got in our car, the guy was down the block and I simply could not let it go, fuck him, was all i kept thinking, and i really wanted to let him know that, so I chased him down and I did. After an obscenity filled exchange, I got back in the car shaking, hating people like that guy (miserable fuckheads), and wishing i had said even more than i did.

We were on our way to stop by a cook out at a friends new place, a group of perrens friends he has known his whole life. We stayed for a bit watching the browns lose and then went home in time for me to get to yoga. At the cook out was a woman I had met once before at a pool party in June, her name is Sylvie and she had moved to cleveland in june working via Americorps. Her best friend is the girlfriend of one of perrens friend and Sylvie had begun dating his brother upon relocating to ohio city. At the pool party in June , Sylvie walked away from the camp fire in the pitch dark and whacked her leg on this metal grate in the yard. She walked back to the house and maybe 10 mins later I went into the house for something to find her crying in the kitchen - her leg had an awful looking wound on it that looked like it hurt like hell, no one realized how bad it was. I went into total mom/ massage therapist mode, felt so bad for her, and told her to elevate her leg while i got an ice pack, then a bunch of stuff from the bathroom to clean it up and compress. Her best friend was out by the fire and came in shortly there after, and save for her i knew sylvie had just met all the rest of us so felt very sympathetic towards her injury and having to deal with it in that social context.

So she was at this cook out Sunday, and then she was at the yoga class I went to, we said hello and kind of laughed as we had just been at the same cook out an hour earlier.

I'm getting things all intertwined here but my first point was to illustrate the extremes of going, on Sunday from cursing at a man on the street in front of johnny mangos patio patrons to my first yoga class in over 3 weeks, trying to let go of all the anger and rage of the first incident.

Then getting home from yoga sunday, I got word that Jho was having her baby and soon. Then , come Monday I had the privilage of being present while baby merugu entered the world - the miracle of child birth.

This afternoon, perren and i ran into a friend while taking a walk, he told us that Sylvie was killed this morning on her way to work in downtown. She was on her bicycle and was hit by a truck. She was 22, had graduated from Yale earlier this year. I was of course shocked and saddened to hear this as was Perren. I did not know her at all having only met her twice. I found myself wishing I'd been friendlier at yoga on sunday. Of course, thinking a lot about the people here who did get to know her well, and her best friend here, all people perren knows better than I. I am glad that they are a tight knit group of such close friends to deal with this experience together, and while I am not inclined to seek anybody out or interject myself they will continue to be in my thoughts. I expect something will occur in Cleveland in honor of Sylvie and I would certainly join in that.

There are a number of young people that I've known in some context who have died so young, and I think of them from time to time. I tend to think of them all as this group, and have even thought of writing something about them all, the very very little I knew of them. There is Mahdi Abdul Rashid, who was in many of my classes in middle school and my first year of high schoool, i had quite a crush on him, he was very handsome. At some point in high school he started selling weed, and when he was found murdered in the trunk of a car during senior year, I remember people who knew him better commenting that he may have been into things far more sinister than anyone was aware of. There is Mindy Biggins who I went through 3 years of high school with always pleasantly greeting each other but never much beyond that (i did really like her though, which is true of so few of the girls in my high school). She was engaged and working as a kindergarten teacher after college and took her own life by jumping off of the Fairview bridge that goes over the metroparks. There was another girl named Erin who transfered into my high school class for about a month and then hung herself in the attic of her home. I try to imagine both Mindy and Erin and what they were feeling when they decided what they did, and while I have had some glimpses of despair, depression and low lows, I am not able to imagine it, not quite. There was another girl in my HS class, Holly, who died a few years ago when she was in her early 20s. She was always sick, I think, I don't know what with, but she was a very nice sweet girl, and smart, and I don't think I ever spoke to her once.

In college, my roomate had a friend named Sri, they were from the same town in CA. Sri graduated one year before I did, and after her graduation day she went to a party on campus and left by herself to walk home and was hit and killed on an otherwise traffic less street by a speeding car that did not stop. I think about these people in this group in my mind, and i find it weird that i think of them at all, yet I'm glad that I do, and I did think many times about writing about them because then it feels like I am acknowledging them outside of just my weird brain, so maybe that is what I just did, remember them, just because I do, and I know they all left behind families and loved ones who remember them every day.

Of course I think of my friend Jessica, and my Mom, but in way very different to this group of people who were on the peripheral of my life in one way or another.

I understand completely that life is short, we have no idea what is ahead of us, and it's important to both enjoy our time here and to DO something good. I struggle with both of these mandates, as I imagine lots of people do. I can't enjoy every moment or every day for that matter because some of them just plain suck. Perhaps we set ourselves up for that, we don't live quite right - we've come a long way from the natural flow of things and a long way from what our priorities ought to be.

It's also hard to feel as though I am doing all the I can to contribute to the world and the whole human family, and sometimes it is hard to even try or give a fuck when I learn of all the crazy stupid right wing shit that is going down everyday. I suppose we all do what we can, try to do no harm, and chose our battles while remembering to focus on the joys of life - the big and the small, the on going and the short lived.

So Good Bye Sylvia Bingham,

Hello Kailash Merugu,

and we should all strive to be kind to every person we meet, including miserable fuck heads with little dogs, because you just never ever know what is ahead

this is hilarious

2009-09-12T21:16:00.003-04:00

had my Mom lived to her 70's, you bet your ass I would have published a book (or perhaps just ran a website) of the things that she said.

My personal favorite on here is the one about "your brother brought his baby over this morning. He said it could stand. Couldn't stand for shit. Just sat there. Big let down"

Buzzed

2009-09-09T01:38:00.002-04:00

not in the traditional sense.

I saw a good friend of mine over my birthday weekend (aka labor day weekend for the rest of the country minus JHM), she is one to offer lots of commentary on her experiences, etc. and she tends to be a healthy lady who takes good care of herself. She is 40 and looks about 30, I would say.

Anyway, her latest passion in life is Kombucha. You can google/wikipedia if you have not heard of it, essentially it is a tea that contains live cultures amongst other stuff. Kombucha was ALL OVER santa fe. Everyone was drinking it all the damn time, so naturally Perren and I tried it and about gagged to death, it was GROSS.

After spending hours with my friend listening to her RAVE, I figured I would pick some up next time I could and see if it went down any easier. So when i went out to the Bin today I bought 2 16oz bottles, and Perren and I split one after dinner, I actually drank about 12 of those ounces I'd say. It tasted a-ok to me. Not like a bottle full of vinegar and fungus as it did last time. Perhaps they have figured out how to make it palatable? Perhaps what i tried before was straight up or fresher or something different (this stuff i have now had organic juice in it and the kombucha tea)

Point being, it's 2am folks, and I could run a fucking marathon.

Highly reminiscent of Dr.J and her complete inability to

1. not order a Galapagos upon entering Gypsy and

2. Acknowledge and utilize the existence of decaf espresso.

Except, I totally did not see this coming. I knew if was supposed to make you feel really good, healthy, etc. I did not know I would be completely fucking wired.

This could prove unfortunate for my 11:15am client, but there is another bottle of this magic shit in my fridge, I suppose I can hit that in the morning if I am really struggling.

SO, have spent a solid 40 mins. reading about Kombucha online, interesting controversies about if it is helpful or harmful and so on.

i think i may find that i have been converted, some of the stuff i just read had me concerned about my friend who is drinking a bottle a day, but i think i will probably incorporate it into my diet more moderately, with the knowledge to do so when STARTING my day.

If anyone is curious to try, I can recommend GT's Synergy brand, Concord grape. Just beware the buzz, plan accordingly.

Why I Shop at Target

2009-09-02T19:57:00.001-04:00

Not that we need another reason to avoid Wal-Mart, but here one is:

http://www.ajc.com/news/gwinnett/man-slaps-strangers-crying-129235.html

Wonder what pushed him over the edge?

Home again, home again

2009-09-01T20:20:00.003-04:00

Tuesday night and I'm at my kitchen table, just home from seeing two clients at Lakewood. Which makes it a little hard to believe that I was in san francisco just yesterday. To be fair though, yesterday was all travel. I had a good trip, didn't get to do quite everything I wanted to, namely see a few of my most favorite spots in the area, but oh well.

I had purchased a ticket to this 3 day concert in GG park. Lots of good music, but I bought the ticket b/c the Beastie Boys were the Sunday night headliner, and I have not seen them since 1995 and really would love to. They had to cancel about a month ago and they had to be replaces - I had high hopes for Rage Against the Machine, but alas they came up with Tenacious D. Pretty lame, in my book. So , I did still hit up this concert each of those days and saw lots of good stuff.

Other than the show, I didn't get into a whole lot. Really minimal socializing which was nice in a way and not as well. I spent a day with my friend, roommate from college whose been in SF ever since. She has 23 months sober, and has spent those 23 months and a few random ones prior, in this sober living program - she lives, eats, rides public transit and all for free. Pretty sweet, though not considering how she got there. Anyway, she and I have always had fun and been very good friends, so it was nice to see her, we wandered around and went to dinner and then a movie (in the castro theatre where an old dude plays a pimped out old organ on the stage before the film, then he lowers down to the orchestra pit, and, only one preview. Sweet!)

Anyway, I just didn't feel like hanging out with anyone. I definitely didn't feel like going to any bars or anything solo, I was kind of sick while there and still have this throat issue. So I decided what to eat each day and just did my thing. Every single one of the concert days I found myself back in line for the pizza being sold by I heart spicy pie, a local pizza joint I had never heard of. My GOd. So. Good. FYI.

I had some really good sushi on my Japantown day where I also got a massage and used the tubs and saunas at a spa that was almost 10,000 waves-ish but it was in a building so not quite, but it was very nice. I did far less shopping than anticipated, and was fine with that as those funds went to food or were saved. Part of that and just generally speaking I was pretty exhausted, I think in large part by the convert which involved a 2 mile trek from one stage to another, endlessly, oh and it was in the 90s friday and saturday. So long bus rides, shopping, etc. were just not that appealing. The hotel I got was really affordable, I unfortunately forgot to take a picture of the sign on the front door that said " WARNING: These premises contain chemicals know to cause birth defects. More information is available." Something like that. So, I guess that explains the affordability. It is a neighborhood I had never visited before, the Marina, and I found it to be a little pretentious, not the old Marina Inn, by any stretch, but the district down the blocks of restaurants and bars I didn't care for. I always stayed before in the Hotel Tropicana in the Mission district, but vowed to never return when the Indian woman of the family who runs the Tropicana yelled at me about having friends up to my hotel room, as tho I were one of her own. Fuck that. ANyway, I was also way across town from my favorite spot at lands end and could not fit in a bus trip over there, tho I was right on the other side of a fence from it at the concert seeing acts such as MIA, modest mouse, and the SIlversun Pickups on the Lands End polo field stage.

Concert high lights for me, personally, were TV on the Radio (LOVE them), I think they said they were done touring for a while so was very glad to have sen that show, they rocked. M.I.A. was a great show, tho she did not sound all that good, her Baltimore dance crew was representing and Lucinda Williams. I love Lucinda a lot, too. I saw her at HOB in cleveland many years ago and was impressed. After that, I bought her live at the Fillmore album and still think that there are moments in that set where she rivals Janis Joplin as far as emotional vocals. So, I leave modest mouse to go see her whole performance, I am able to walk right up to the stage for a front row standing spot. She comes out with her band, she looks a little worse for wear, i must say, tho could be all the fault of bad hair (ain't that a bitch). She seemed a little subdued, I found myself wondering if she as on pain killers - had that look about her. ANyway, she sounded stellar. Almost as tho she just talks into a mic and sounds like she does on her songs. She opened with a song that is an old blues song she recorded for her first record, called Motherless Children, perhaps some of you have heard this - Clapton covered it and other contemporary groups, too. I had never heard it before, and needless to say, it made me cry -

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=1Dohfr-wHTQ.

It was quite moving, and the rest of her set was all of the songs I love from the FIllmore disc.

On the plane ride home, I watched Sunshine Cleaning. I thought it was a TV show, it is indeed a movie. The old woman next to

me announced to her old husband that she was watching it, and I could tell watching her screen that it was yet another thing

filmed in the state of NM, like my fave show, Breaking Bad. So, I watched it, too, and found myself in tears once again. It's a

good movie, and i must say could have been a good TV show, too. ANyway, the sisters in it reflect on losing their Mom which

I imagine is why I was all affected. The credits roll to the song "Spirit in the Sky" by Norman Greenbaum, which I have been

rocking the fuck out to ever since. I don't know if my Mom liked that song or not, for some reason I think she probably did

Jesus reference and all, so

it makes me pretty happy to rock to these past 24 hours, and even if she didn't like it I must say I really dig the music as well

as the simple rhyming lyrics and the whole idea there. I was going to link to that song, but you all can go ahead and google a

performance should you need to. Apparently it's a big hit via the video game rock band. Excellent. More later -

Saturday

2009-08-24T13:25:00.002-04:00

I left work and was driving home, decided to get some soup since it was both cold and rainy. I called Perren to see if he wanted anything and shortly after hanging up I found myself at a red light staring at a license plate that read DRJ 5483. I was struck with a sense of excitement, I had recently heard about Charlotte's HKJ plate sighting in DC/FC. It occurred to me that this DRJ plate was not a vanity plate, and I was musing on this as I got on the highway and had just pretty much decided that this maybe did not hold any meaning at all when I find in my face once again a plate beginning with DRJ. This is truly exciting, and my hand flies to my mouth as I exclaim "Holy Shit!".

I am an overwhelming urge to spread the news, mainly to Vikki, and am also thinking of other folks, wishing I knew how to text a number of people from my i phone in one message (anyone?) I think how I should be sharing this with my brother as well but does he know about the tremont midget sightings? All sorts of thoughts along these lines running thru my mind but with the immediate need to text Vikki, so I do. I think this is interesting because it sounds like at the very times I was being inundated by DRJ's in my face, she was saying aloud to Joseph "Damn I really miss Grandma".

Fast forward a bit, I get home, eat soup, shower, and head out to Banks Rd for the baby fiesta. What should I see en route -? Yet one more for the day , a DRJ plate flying by me on the highway.

At this point, I am really contemplating license plates and how they all begin with three letters, ours is DRE which makes Perren and I hardcore and loosely associated with Death Row records. But really, I think, they must be on a DRJ roll at the Ohio DMV and this explains that. So, I basically said to myself - self, continue to be aware of the plates you pass and if you keep seeing DRJ's, then there you go. Today is Monday and I have yet to embark on my car bound errands but I did plenty of cruising around yesterday on the high way and otherwise and not a DRJ in sight. Perhaps Aunt Helen got out to Jho's shower/fiesta, I can only imagine her glee at 1. the shout to Vasu of "beat it like it's a Paki!" in reference to the pinata, from the mouth of a man whom I have never really spoken to, and can now vow that I never will ( and this is an OC dweller, can't blame Lorain Co.!) 2. The hi-fucking-larious convos in the kitchen between the Banks roaders, N&V and I about Jho's dating history - not to mention Nate's inexplicable 9well, certainly alcohol played some part) on going walk down memory lane to our cleveland heights days.

Anyway, who knows, just thought I would share..

She is with me in my time(s) of need

2009-08-19T13:50:00.002-04:00

Driving home from the indian grocery store this morning with the in-laws (we need a blog name for them, btw), feeling kind of blue for a variety of reasons...pass the little bodega on the corner of Abbey Rd. and W. 20 and glance at the stoop...

Sitting there is a fat, like, OBESE midget, legs splayed over the edge of a milk crate, puffing on a cigarette, and he gives me the surliest glare. Oh yeah.

In my mind, I hear Dr. J's crack up laugh and instantly my mood improves!

Because few things feel as awesome as spending a shit ton of money -

2009-08-17T16:11:00.002-04:00

- I have paid off all of my student loans.

- I spent a grotesque amount today at Target, on what you ask? a mothafuckin Dyson, y'all.

- I'm not quite done yet. My next tattoo should commence towards the end of September, I am off to san fran in a week, always pricey but I think I can play it cheap outside of lodging.

Spent this weekend with my globe trotting friend from college (we had the best lunch I have ever had in my own home consisting of oysters and champagne among other things, suprisingly an affordable afternoon), we began the planning for a South East Asia extravaganza, hopefully for sometime in 2010.

Is there a point where retail therapy ceases to be effective?

Should I be concerned?

I don't think so.

And now to see if I can't convince rufus to let me dyson his ass from head to tail. Otherwise, I'll just follow him and collect the hair as he runs away from the all terrifying beast.

This, however, makes for a lovely place to go to work

2009-08-09T19:46:00.002-04:00

Based on the wildlife sightings as of late, I should work a lot more and be home a lot less. The below horrifying photos were however both taken outside of the house. Thank christ.

Not what I want to see in my garbage can.

2009-08-09T19:43:00.002-04:00

Not what I want to come home to

2009-08-09T19:42:00.002-04:00

Giant slug on my house. Gross.

Welcome Back

2009-08-07T11:50:00.002-04:00

I've been meaning to post for awhile. No real reasons why I haven't, just laziness and getting sucked into facebook for hours at a time. And, in taking the advice in a recent comment from Matt, instead of just going forth with all the topics in one new post, I'm going to spread them out a bit and try to spend some time at this.

Of the many things that have crossed my mind to write about, including my new platform on regulating the lives of senior citizens and why I should never, ever go back to a Marc's store, the top ten things to never say to a pregnant woman, general thoughts on becoming a parent (terrifying!), random encounters with Toddling Bruce, etc., the one that takes precedence today is the complete lack of customer service at my local Home Depot.

Now, for many reasons, I've been spending a lot of time at Home Depot recently. We are trying to finish up all manor of projects at home before the arrival of Taj Jr., and because neither my husband nor myself are particularly handy, we often fail to get all the necessary supplies on our first or even second trip. Thus, I've been at Home Depot no fewer than 10 times in the last 2 weeks...really. This bothers me on many levels, but that reflection is for another post.

At each of my visits, I know what I need, but am either unable to find it or unable to reach it. At each of my visits, there seem to be many employees, but none who wish to help me with either task. I spend a particularly extended amount of time at the paint counter, where perhaps the most unfriendly of the employees are stationed, because that is where people seem to need the most help, so it makes sense to place your least trained and least hospitable workers there.

Plus, the paint counter is conveniently located directly opposite the general customer service desk, where there are often as many as 10 other employees, just hanging out, talking about life, enjoying some coffee, and in general, NOT HELPING ANYONE. This never ceases to intrigue me.

So last week, on my 6th or 7th visit in as many days, to get yet another can of deck stain, I had reached my breaking point. Really. Just to set the stage: I'm fucking 8 months pregnant. Its hot in Cleveland (finally!). I'm hungry and thirsty constantly. I also almost always need to pee. I'm cranky. The deck stain I need is so high on a shelf, I can't reach it without climbing onto a ladder. I ask the two employees, who are in the same aisle WITH A LADDER if they would mind getting me down the can. They decline. Really. They say, go to the paint counter and ask the guy there, he'll get it for you. Well, I know that, but he's helping the 4 other people who are there and if I can just take the can with me, he can mix the stain without having to walk down and get it and maybe I can get the fuck out of home depot in less than an hour, which itself would be a miracle. However, the two employees, who are in the same aisle WITH A LADDER continue to decline to give me the stain. So I waddle (side note: I'm really playing up the pregnant thing, especially in public, because usually it gets me excellent treatment and pleasantness from people...apparently, not in the depot though.) back to the paint desk...wait in line for the ONE employee working there, listening to the chatter of the ten other employees who are just chilling at the customer service desk. Not a care in the world.

Now, it is important to know that I avoid confrontation AT ALL COSTS. I don't know why, but I do. Rarely do I complain about service or products, or anything in stores or restaurants. I hate to return things. So I'm not sure why I chose to spout off this next statement, really loudly, to no one in particular, while standing in line. Oh that's right, see above.

"I'm amazed that with our country in such a deep recession...and with all these people out of work...that Home Depot would employ so many people who just don't want to help customers! I just don't get it! I'm amazed! I can't believe no one else in this entire store can help us here at the paint counter!!"

My fellow customers all kind of nodded while taking a few steps away from me, the goofy pregnant lady who is red in the face. And the chatter at the customer service desk stops--but there is NO REPLY or move to help us! Wow! The only response I get is from the paint guy who looks at me and slowly says "I'll be with you as soon as I can, ma'am." Don't ma'am me! I'm only 29 years old! Fuck you! Give me my goddamn deck stain! AHHHHHHHH!

Well, I didn't say those things at the end, I had reached my limit for confrontation. Instead, I just waited...got my stain...paid for it...went home...and informed my husband that if he valued our marriage at all, I would not ever have to return to Home Depot. And so far, I'm happy to say, I haven't.

So, just to check in -

2009-08-02T23:16:00.001-04:00

Does anyone ever look at this blog, other than Medusa Jones?

Some Blogworthy Happenings

2009-07-27T22:54:00.003-04:00

I don't think I've got 10, but I'll share all I can recall. Some good stuff here, folks.

1. Adventures in Takeout -

Fresh on my mind as it happened mere hours ago. Nobody felt like cooking any of the homegrown delicious veggies in our fridge so take out was inevitable. Minh Anh's menu was studied, decisions were made, they are closed Mondays. A delicious local Thai spot had been discussed, and dismissed as too pricey. The Thai was then our obvious plan B. We order, pick up, bring home, plate and begin to consume. I have been eager to try "drunken noodles" for awhile now so thats what I had ordered, even though I think this place does it not in the traditional manner. Mine is good, a little spicy, Perren is going to TOWN on his entree, and I notice something in my noodles that does not belong. I remove it and place it on the table saying " What is that??" "It's a noodle" replies P, without even looking. " Nope" I say. "THAT. What is that?" Perren proceeds to inspect and says " Ohhhhh. That's a maggot". Now, perhaps it was a maggot. I've seen maggots. This (dead) creature appeared to me to look like something I have seen in an old can of bread crumbs before. I think it might be accurate to call this a meal worm, but I'm not really sure. It was a small slightly curled white wormish thing.

So.

Appetite -gone.

How to proceed? Perren can't stop eating his dinner since it is so damn good. I can not make peace with Perren having just paid $30 for our dinner to have found this in it.

It is a REALLY small place, and trendy, and pricey. I like it a lot, and did not want to cause a scene, I recognize that shit happens. P kept saying, "they'll make you a free one", as if I would want that - no thanks. I thought it best to just get our money back. So that is what we did. The woman I dealt with simply voided the card transaction and that was it, I thanked her , at no point did she apologize or anything to me.

2. Why do the crackheads LOVE Alexis's porch/ front of her house?

I think it is just inviting to them. Often an empty 40 is left on the porch. I had to stop once and watch these two guys, because they paused, essentially on her porch, in order to roll a blunt. Her porch just screams shelter from the storm to any a passing drunk or crackhead here in the hood. We dropped her off Sunday night after a dinner in Brecksville and as usual waited for her to get safely in. On her way to the door, she noticed something and took pause. Upon inspection, she yelled back to us that someone had abandoned their nasty boxers there by the bushes. Moments later, she put all the puzzle pieces together. She picked up the empty plastic bag that had contained the new and surely unnecessary yellow pages and said " someone took the phone book from HERE, wiped their ass with it, and left the phone book and boxers".

Yes, someone took a shit in her front yard, and yes, they wiped their ass with an entire fucking yellow pages phone book - not a page or pages torn from -

Some things will never change, Ohio City, try as you might.

3. I was pulled over today by a cop, and he pulled over another young woman along with me. He said that we had run a red light. I had absolutely no idea wtf he was talking about. I had given him my license, and he informed me of why he pulled me over. I observed the other woman who had pulled behind me and based on her animated reaction, she had no clue wtf he was talking about either. I looked in my rearview and could see the light behind me, so I guess that is the light I allegedly ran. I got a little stressed about the whole deal as I was sitting there, and then I thought, fuck that, and fuck this motherfucker too. So I chilled out, but was kind of miffed because I like to think that I am always aware of the lights that I run or come close to running. Anyway, he came back to the car and said "Who are these Hedderson people?" (Perren is on insurance policy with his parents) and then said " You don't have any violations on your record" to which I responded "True". He gave a warning and then said " don't go running red lights at major intersections, people get killed that way".

It was really weird, and I am wondering if light was blown thru, or close to, or what. I wrote down his car number and the time and location because I really started thinking, would he care to prove that I ran that light? Ultimately, a non issue.

3. Got haircut (trim) and high lights today, got pulled over after leaving salon.

4. Was on my way to the BMV to renew my license - thats right - totally ahead of the game on that - when I was pulled over. Is that ironic? maybe a little.

5. My dad has a history of gift giving that often falls a little short or leaves the recipient kind of bemused. His wife seems to exacerbate this, for reasons I think are understandable. She has the most f'd up taste of any person I've ever encountered. So, they were traveling recently and brought me some really good stuff - a canvas bag I will totally use and a simple solid copper bracelet. They bought Perren a necklace that cracks me up, I am too lazy to get a picture, but i will. It actually looks OK on him, and in a laughing fit last night I went and put on the necklace they got me last trip (thinking it was even more out of control that Perrens), and I was told it actually worked very well with the outfit I had on, so there you go.

6. The dogs were SO fucking dirty, and are now SO fucking clean b/c we took them to a DIY dog wash. Good times were had, well worth the $15.95 per dog. Rufus is amazingly shiny and soft, I want to do a glamour shots session with them to preserve this state.

7. Watched some really good movies while Perren was down with the shingles - Religulous, Frost Nixon, and Slumdog Millionaire.

8. Ate at Empress Tatyu on E.55 and St. Clair - delicious Ethiopian, and there are straw huts you can sit under inside the restaurant - sweet!

9. Work should actually commence on Perrens house sometime soon. Then, we will actually live in it. May wonders never cease.

10. We saw Frank Black live for the first time - just him with an electric guitar and harmonica. Only show I have seen where the performer has a little tableclothed table with a bottle of wine and wine glass and whacks a bottle of wine through his set. VERY awesome set it was with many tunes from show me your tears, honeycomb, and all sorts of Pixies stuff. Really cool time despite clusters of drunken retards in the crowd, one of whom had a sick ass mullet.

Omission

2009-06-29T12:19:00.002-04:00

I should have mentioned below that the other part of the top of the picture which you can not read off the scan says - Dear Aunt Sarah and Perren, I love you -

which I think it was raised the question for Perren - is that an artists interpretation of us ?

Art

2009-06-29T12:10:00.002-04:00

The most recent gifts of artwork by Cleo have been on display @ my fridge gallery since we have been home from vacation. A few days after hanging them, Perren and I were sitting at the kitchen table eating when he looked over at the below scanned item, which unfortunately did not scan very well ( but you can see the important part). He laughed, and said "Holy Shit, is that supposed to be you on the right and me on the left, in the form of a heart (pause)... because Cleo is in love with me!?". He really cracked himself at the notion. For the record, I don't think Cleo has a crush on Perren. She remains kind of intrigued by the hair, but I don't see any crush behavior. Anyway. I think it is a valid question, and I do not want to insult the artist by asking her so perhaps her parents have an opinion? Do share.

Also worth noting that EVERYONE who has been in our kitchen has read and been amused by the top of the picture which reads in part To: you

From: Cleo

One friend said that he was going to start using the To:you line on cards and also not signing said cards so that they can be re carded (like re gifted) down the line.

It was bound to happen someday

2009-05-25T14:06:00.003-04:00

Last night, Medusa and I headed out to Brothers Lounge to 1. watch the Cavs and 2. so Medusa could jam with the house band, it being jam night there.

I had a Blue Moon at the front bar watching the first 2 quarters, then Bret (Michaels, Salexis' new alias) took off and we went into the back bar room so that Medusa would know when it was her turn on the drums.

Up front, I had seen a basket with 2 fabulous looking soft pretzels go by, so I figured I ought to take a look at the menu. I opted for nachos instead of pretzels, and had another beer because, why not.

As soon as Medusa was summoned to drum, I notice my personal trainer at the table behind us, clearly on a date.

I knew this would happen one day, that I would run into him whilst consuming a late night pizza or something horribly detrimental to my waist line.

I was immediately paralyzed by guilt/shame and could not touch a nacho until Medusa returned to our table, at which time I filled her in and asked that she shift slightly to her left in order to serve as my human shield and to also please eat some more nachos.

As far as I know, my trainer did not notice my presence at any point. I was intently focused on the cavs game in order to look occupied and ignore the nachos, so don't really know if I was spotted at all or not.

Anyway, yesterday did mark my return to the gym after about a 3 week hiatus, and we did bike to and fro Brothers, and, as Medusa mentioned, it's a holiday weekend.

More later.

sonofabitch

2009-05-19T18:05:00.001-04:00

Why is my post all fucked?

Sorry, kids. I guess that is what happens when you neglect the blogalicious. Hope it is readable.

Bringing it Back

2009-05-19T17:21:00.004-04:00

Greetings, blog. Long time, no post but we are freshly committed to bringing it back.

I've decided that a random 10 is the best way to kick things off, so here we go:

- 2 of the 3 of you already heard the story of Perren's French monologue to the telemarketer. Here is the skit/song from Flight of the Chonchords season 1 that inspired him

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=w8S2iyJpuYA

- I have never grown anything in my life, in fact killed both the bromeliad and the
cactus I got for my apartment in college, so, am

pretty excited to have very cute little heirloom tomato plant sprouts popping up in their
starter containers. They remind me of wall-e.

- I have discovered an aluminum free deodorant that actually works, well.
Kiss my Face "active enzyme" in peaceful patchouli. I just

wish they would have called it Kiss my Pits, but it's probably best they did not.

- I have (am now getting over) a HEINOUS cold. Why do PM cold medicines
make me more awake? What is the deal? Also, could

I have been any higher on Tylenol Cold Datytime yesterday?
No. I felt insanely high. I don't think the human body ought to be

subjected to the daytime and nighttime cold drugs regimine.
It's crazy, and probably does not really shorten the life of the cold.

- On the topic of my health, I still feel that it is entirely possible that I have
some form of cancer, and it pisses me off that I can't just

get a scan. I mean seriously, why wait for symptoms? Nobody wants to do that.
Apparently, I can travel to India and get myself a scan and whatever

else, no problem. So, next vacation destination, India it is.

- Just received text message confirmation that my best friend is now engaged,
everyone is getting hitched!

- I am going to have a reading with a medium on Saturday.
Will certainly blog about that, assuming it is anything interesting.
I think iit will be cool, and it is a woman from Lilydale who will be in Cleveland so saves me a trip.

- I paid $915.32 for a "tune up" and a new windshield on our CRV. No, that did not include any
"major" work, like the timing belt or catalytic converter that will need to be replaced
sometime in the future. HA ha ha. WTF is wrong with the world? Where to begin...

- One of clients informed me the other day that Mercury is in retrograde until the 30th.
i do not pretend to know jack about astrology or the planets or any of it. I was always hearing
about Mercury retrograding in Santa Fe, I think something about the geographic location of
Santa Fe makes Mercury do this more often? Some sort of special circumstance there, which
I think would explain alot about the kind of people you find there.
Anyway, my client said that communications can be messed with, so I started thinking about my
interactions /communications with people. SHe then went on and was commenting on the
computer system at her work and how it had been all wacky. It reminded me that our landline
phone has been all crazy, too, constantly indicating that there are new messages when there
are not. Kind of annoying. This morning, still in bed, barely awake ,
I hear my phone sound off that I've received a text. The text from 703 577 3499 read:

Mr. Fuckface the big headed bastard

Mercury? Who knows.

- I think that's it. I ought to get outside and enjoy the weather. I could mention as my final
item that I saw a play at Cleveland Public Theatre on Sunday that was pretty interesting.
I had read a few things about it, one of which mentioned that rape was a part of the story,
which is an understatement. Led to some random ass questions from toddling Bruce about
rape and why it occurs (as if I have the answers, I gave him my WOMS 101 shpeel).
I also wonder i Norm regrets getting Deedee those CPT passes for Xmas...

Peace out, blog. More later.

So, Um...

2008-11-05T16:38:00.002-05:00

Barack won it. It is 70, sunny and gorgeous in Cleveland today, as it was yesterday and will be tomorrow. I saw Dr J at the polls via an overweight, Obama- voting midget.

I have been musing to myself all day -'does this mean, that there is actually a God'??

Well, who the fuck knows, but things are CERTAINLY on an upswing. I hope it lasts for a long, long time.

I had the pleasure last night of observing some Obama celebrations in the hood, and would like to share the quote of the evening c/o an intoxicated young man with a kick ass grill on his teeth :

(enters house, says to perren):

"smell my hair. you like it? It's bud light. I poured a bottle of champagne in the street, and 2 brews on myself.

I don't know what else to do.

...O_B_A_M_A.....O_B_A_M_A!!!"

There were cheers and tears, the crafty idea of red and blue shots (vodka and kool aid, perhaps gatorade, which i am really glad we arrived AFTER the electoral counting ,because based on how I felt and the day I had yesterday, I would have been pounding with the rest of them), then fireworks c/o Perren having a 14 year old trapped inside and having lived in new mex where they keep 'em legal, and random shouts of "OBAMA!" to and from literally every single person on the streets, in their cars, houses, everywhere.

There is a bunch of other shit I have been meaning to blog about, none of which seems relevant today, so I'll catch you all later.

Oh, I like how NBC was on some bullshit local election coverage/commercials as we were waiting to see about florida or cali or whichever and just came back to this big old banner of barack obama, 44th president.

I reached over and hit perren saying " what is that shit? what is that shit? There it is, there it is!!".

God love Perren. I hit him alot yesterday.

Can't help it. I was very excited.

We've Got To Get Right Back To Where We Started From

2008-07-26T14:22:00.002-04:00

Well, it has been a rough summer. And continues to be. But I think Dr. J, as she was known to the blogging community, would want the blogalish to perservere. And she'd be wanting regular contributions. When noteworthy, of course. So in an effort to bring some light hearted love to the blogalish, here are some OC observations that she would surely have commented on (out loud, probably inappropriately, but definitely hilarious):

1. Toddling Bruce making his way down Lorain Ave. with a copy of "Chance Encounters" pretending to hide behind a parking meter when he sees us.

2. The almost midget at the WSM with her almost midget husband and son, having to step on their tippy toes to reach the top of the meat counter. I'm guessing there would have been an attempted touching here.

3. The local gardening/handyman who also happens to be a VERY LARGE BLACK MAN, which would have been noted, rocking out to samba jazz music from his 80's ghetto blaster as he pulled weeds in front of her house.

4. The Econoline Van driving, semi-toothless, mohawk haired family at Dairy Delite, ordering large vanilla cones dipped in cherry.

Holy shit, William, there is a fucking lightning storm happening right now. Outside.

2008-06-07T19:24:00.001-04:00

This may never to cease to greatly amuse me.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=YjZR1Rjj_p0

Tuesday Random

2008-06-03T19:37:00.002-04:00

* Today, on the radio, I rocked out to brown eyed girl, in which they edited "making love in the green grass..." and replayed "laughing and a singin'.." I thought this deserved mention for being extremely stupid.

* I spent 4 hours at the resort for a HR training, blaaaaaaaah. I am having flashbacks to high school as I have to remove my nose ring and craftily stash it in my make up compact, to be replaced upon leaving... not sure about this , kids. Not to mention the overwhelming unoraginized state of the whole massive place. I did get free cookies, brownies, water and dr. pepper.

* I dropped my Dad off at the airport in ABQ prior to my super scintillating afternoon, he had a good visit, I enjoyed it , and want to make public, particularly to g-ma and the Engles that I whooped my dads ass at scrabble the other night 387 to 295 -thats right , 387. I have the score sheet kept in his meticulous handwriting should anyone care for some proof. Last night, he took the rematch game 360 to 251, but not the point. I never score high, ever, like over 200, so this is monumental. I had my first scrabble with " detailer". sweet.

* I am tired, probably crashing off my dr. pep and cookies snack, and have not been able to watch lost for the past few days so have to get an episode in, stat. Last one i watched Boone died and claire popped the baby - damn!
Yes, the only person in the world who had never watched lost has started with season one. It is pretty good. The only things that really bother me are 1. Kate's dumb ass facial expression and the fact that her eyebrows appear to be waxed daily on the deserted island 2. That people are still busting out fresh clean clothing and, well, other things I can't think of right now, but I'm sure they'll come to me.
Sayid looks EXACTLY like this guy I dated back in the day. crazy.
peace out -

Boy Band Creator sentenced to 25 years

2008-05-21T17:08:00.002-04:00

...no, not for being responsible for horrible music. No, not for exploiting young men. No, not for introducing Justin Timberlake to the world. Something much less....horrific, if you will.

Lou Pearlman, the man who created the Backstreet Boys and 'N Sync, was sentenced Wednesday to 25 years in federal prison for engineering a decades-long scam that bilked thousands of investors out of their life savings.
It was the maximum sentence the boy band mogul could receive for allegedly swindling some $300 million from investors and banks since the early 1980s.

Update

2008-05-15T23:41:00.002-04:00

My coworker was released from jail after 11 days, and she will be back at work on monday. apparetly, she was there today talking to my boss, but this was before I got there. My boss said, "I can't talk about it. All I can say is that she was in the wrong place at the wrong time". I'm glad she is OK and emotionally not too scarred and all. I do not know if the charges are sticking, I'm assuming not b/c who comes back to work if that is the case? I hope to find out the whole story one day, but I'm not sure how that might happen. Unbelievable. I went on an online mission the other day to find a cuyahoga county site, which I did, and to my surprise and inapropriate disapointment, I could not find anyone I know on there. No Kroeger uncles OR any loser friends from high school - WTF? Oh well.
I called today to follwo up on my high end spa interview, and the guy I need to talk to is on vaca til the 20th. Of course he is, and of course he doesn't think to mention that when he tells me to call in a week if i've not heard anything. I do feel like I'll get the job, but the freaking clock is a ticking, we are planning to roll out of here come sept 1/ end of August, and I can't let the spa know that. It's shady, I know, but I really will benefit from the experience and the money, so I gotta do what I gotta do. Anyway, assuming I do get it and start towards the end of this month, come sometime in August, I'll have to drop it on them (unless I just don't say shit, but that's just wrong), SO , what might be the perfect excuse for leaving a job after 3 months or so when they've verbally stated that you need to stay for 6 so they are not wasting money training you?
Are any of you blogalish community members comfortable with my using your death as an initial excuse, and then I'd just " not come back" ?
I know, I'm getting ahead of myself but planning is good.
In other news, our former housemate who moved out and is now moving back in due to a failed attempt at haveing a house with her then, no more, boyfriend. While they were together, and renting this nice condo of theirs, they took the massive trip to Rhode Island where all of her very nice stuff that professional people with real jobs have was in storage, and brought it here. So now, it is slowly but surely being moved into OUR house, and let me tell you, it's a sweet deal. Just before our out of town family guests arrive, she'll be all moved back in and the house will be pimped out. Fabulous!
Shout out to my favorite state for embracing gay marriages, and good night for now -

2008-05-09T16:39:00.003-04:00

Due to spiraling gas prices, an renewed interest in biking has taken over Merugu Mahal. Our bikes were swiped last summer by some bitches (tho we don't really know if the thieves were female, to be fair) anywho, the time came to replace them. We went to our good friend Mitch in Tremont. Oh yeah, you know who I'm talking about. Anyway, he sold me a sweet new ride, last year's model of course (he only deals with older models and I don't just mean bikes, folks). Anyway, I got a great deal on a bike that was destined for France but ended up in Mitch's shop en route. It kind of looks like this one, but with a woman's seat and different handle bars:

http://www.khsbicycles.com/hirez/07-hr-cx200.htm

I tried to copy the pic, but blogger wasn't having it.

Now, a trip to Mitch's is like no other. I originally went in on a Saturday. We chatted for awhile and he talked me out of the tandem I had my eye on. Well, Taj talked me out of it too. While we were there, Mitch had chinese food delivered. Ok. Flash forward to the following Thursday when I go to pick up my new wheels. The SAME chinese food is there, half eaten and he's going on in for the rest of it. This, in a nutshell, sums up Mitch's store. That and the "Mitch Paul for President" sticker he has hanging up, where he cut off the "Ron" and wrote in "Mitch".

So, bike patrols start this weekend, weather permitting of course. Which here in Cleveburg means probably not. We are signed up for Pedal to the Point in August though; so we must start training soon.

Horrifying. Fascinating.

2008-05-08T00:43:00.002-04:00

Wednesday is technically a day off for me, but today was a crazy one. I'm pretty well over it, but earlier was quite preturbed by some alarming news involving someone who i work with and basically don't know at all. You know how it is when you work with someone and get a feel for their personality, but you have no relaionship with them at all outside of the work place. I called off of work on sunday due to pure exhaustion and, in my defense, some pretty bad cramps. When I called, I was thanked for calling (of course, wtf, i thought), and then it was mentioned that the woman I work with who works most of the opening shifts had pulled a no call/ no show the previous day, very unlike her, she's pretty dedicated and has worked there a while. While I'm at work on Monday, everyones a little worried about her b/c she has literally disappeared. Then, a call comes in, on her behalf, to inform the establishment that she is in jail, and will not be getting out until Friday.
There was some scrambling to change the sched. and naturally, some speculation. I made the comment to one of the chefs that that is kind of a long ass time, she must have done some shit, then again NM is pretty fucked with it's penal system so perhaps she just said the wrong thing to the cops or whatnot. I should add that the person who called for her said that she and her boyfriend were both in until friday on "trumped up criminal charges". So, she really doesn't seem like the drug type, but thats what I'm and I think most everyone else is guessing. Also, I have never met the boyfriend but have heard from everyone who has that he is an absolute bad vibe creep, you just have to glance at him and you're floored by the bad vibe ness, so there is that.
Perren's friend was over our house this afternoon and for some reason mentioned this website for the county where you can view anyone who's ever been arrested, etc. He starts mentioning mugshots of people we know, and I say "well shit, ___ is in jail right now", and he tells me I can scope her mugshot and see what she is charged with. So, curious about this, I check it out. I type in her name, it brings up the info and what's the first thing i see? - criminal sexual penetration WOAH!, followed by felony conspiracy and conributing to the delinquency of a minor. I was seriously floored. All's I could say was "Holy shit, do you SEE what that says"
Now, maybe this holds no interest or shock for any of you , at all. maybe, in fact i'm pretty solid on the fact that, i shouldn't be blogging about this. I figure better to not gossip at the workplace, and it's just you people far far away reading this AND, based the amount of non silk e activity, this is pretty much silk e's journal, so, here we are. This lady is definitely a little crazy, she's had her share of the kinds of things that make people crazy, but really she is a seemingly sweet lady. I don't even work with her much, but when I do, we make countless sandwiches for the masses, side by side, and I listen to her go on and on about either the customers we're waiting on or the prep we have to do or whatnot, so i guess this accounts for my shock. I have a hard time believing she is capable of anything harmful. i have a hunch that her boyfriend is responsible for any illegal happenings and she was unfortunate enought to be either aware of it, or present at the time, or something like that. Or maybe no one did anything and some minor is set on fucking with her/ their lives. Really pretty crazy either way. and what the fuck does felony conspiracy mean? that's vague as hell.
So, I' going to move on. Prior to my horrifying doscovery via the santa fe county website, I had a job interview at a high end spa. i think it went very well, and hope to hear from them in the affirmitive in the next week, as I'd be guaranteed $48 for each 50 min massage there, with 4-8 massages potentially per day of work. I just looked at the spa's site -shanahspa.com, and there is this intro with a song that is goddamn hilarious. there is scrolling text that mentions "...ancient wisodm..touched by angels...it may change your life..." woah there. someone got a little zealous with the angel talk, but it is an amazingly nice environment and spa, I'd welcome the transiton from slaving behind a deli counter with god knows who ( trust no one, people, that's all I've got for you).
I just finished dining while watching top chef on bravo. we had a steak and a beet salad with goat cheese, de-lish, and having no self control, i went for the ice cream on the last commercial break.
I think I am now going to go try to get the remainder of my itunes library, from artists starting with the letter T -Z, onto a DVD from the desktop to my new laptop here. Yes, these days i type to you from behind my sony vaio, which was on a seriously crazy sale at best buy, my friend bought one and told me it was $385 so I went for it. It is ok, but I cannot wait for the day, hopefully in about 6 months when i can sell this baby and afford me a macbook. The commercials, with the fat guy PC and younger attractive guy mac - so true.
I can't stop listening to the new Roots album, it is the shit. The Black Keys are playing a fucking FREE SHOW IN cleveland right now. i am not there. That is all, good night, blogalish.

Wednesday Random

2008-04-16T15:08:00.002-04:00

Well, here I am again. The lone blogger. That's my new nickname. Not accurate really, Vasu is over there pumping out the shower thoughts. I don't know a thing about Dr. Jarvis other than that lame ass cheese ball commercial, but he is clearly an asshole.

Not too much to share here, except:

1. My new favorite thing, in the world = the cherry dream smoothie. Frozen organic cherries (kind of a lot of them), some rice milk or milk of your choice for smoothie consistency, 1-2 tbsp. of tahini pref. arrowhead mills brand although any will do, blend away in the blender, throw in some protein powder if so inclined and DAMN that's good.

You may have to experiment with the tahini amounts but when you get it right - heaven. I made on yesterday with blueberries as well as cherries. mmmmmmmm.

random quote of the day from yesterday, an acquaintance on the patio of local coffee shop -

"... man, I've been sitting in there WAY too long, writing all kinds of.....shit There's nothing like getting all fucked up on yerba mate and writing crazy emails...."

I think you may have to see this guy to appreciate the hilarity, whatever.

Pilates is my new found motivation in life. If only I could get my ass there twice a week instead of once, going to aim to begin that next week...

Enjoying biking around in the mean time, and feeling slightly more fit as a result but not really. not yet. I did buy a helmet a couple weeks ago, good thing to do especially around here.

New Greys anatomy coming up, on practically the same day as a new portishead and a new roots album - amazing. very excited for the week of April 21st.

Peace out bloggers, enjoy the mid week. I'm off to the co-op to bitch about it is no longer the little hippie store it was since this asinine expansion, and drink lots of cherry dream smoothies.

Its not wicker, its wood!

2008-04-13T09:30:00.002-04:00

Ok, the above has no relevance to blog-a-licious, but I offended someone yesterday by calling his chairs wicker when apparently they are made of wood. It was an innocent comment, I really did think they were wicker!

Anyway, kudos to Silk for the blog upgrade! This has invigorated me. And I thought of a little contest, the kind for which we are famous for. Will all our loyal readers please unite, and lets brainstorm some "creative marketing" for Silk's massage business--and with this crowd I feel compelled to add "Let's keep it clean folks--lets keep it clean."

Let the ideas roll!

{p.s.--for inspiration, don't we all know the advertisement that is always in the free times for "Ethical Massage"? What the hell is ethical massage? But it gets you thinking!}

Things are slooooow

2008-04-11T13:41:00.002-04:00

Massage business is not exactly booming for yours truly, LMT. Working at the co-op ceased to be fulfilling quite some time ago, I'd really rather be doing massage full time. Thus, I think I may actually look into working at a chain franchise located in a strip mall with target. I'm scared. What to do? I'm at least going to find out what they pay, and if it's "enough", I have many bills so why not just do it for the summer. It just seems like a really unappealing environment, and it's a chain and it's called Massage Envy - worse name possible? I think not.

I paid $100 for a little ad in the weekly for 3 weeks, this is week 2 and I have 1 guy today who called on the ad. that's it. I need to get a resume together to drop at the upscale spas here. I just need to do it, if someone could motivate me along those lines that would be much appreciated.

blaaaaaaaaaahhhhhhhhhhh.

i didn't know you could spell check these posts. nice.

and so it ends

2008-04-09T14:44:00.002-04:00

we actually viewed the final episode of the wire last week, but i now finally have a moment to reflect. Did McNulty redeem himself? no, not in my opinion. The writers gave it a good effort and all, but there were lots of other things needing their efforts and attentions, so in the end he's a douche but a well loved douche as evidenced by his grand fianle send off. The flash forward montage of the final show was well done , I thought. Showed us where everyone ends up, some with more specifics than others, but everyone's collective results proving the point that it's ALL in the game, which does not really change, and it's mandatory to both sell someone out and fuck someone over to come out on top. I've never been directly involved in the game of politics, seeing what goes on behind campaigns, terms, etc. I do get the feeling that the portrayal of Carcetti and his experience in city- state politics is probably pretty near to being exactly what happens to any individual who wants to get in there and "make change" - it's impossible. Things are far too royally, incestuously fucked up and anyone, even some sort of saint with the best of intentions is consumed and changed by it. Carcetti was a self absorbed prick anyway, so he wasn't too capable of putting up a fight or sacrificing his image in anyway, but he wasn't as corrupt as a majority of politicians going in, which made his hands all the more tied. That's just my opinion.

I also think the turn with Greggs was bullshit. Either BS that McNulty would share that in the first place or BS that she reacted as she did. No fucking way. I suppose that could certainly happen, but it didn't sit well with me. She and McNuts go way back, and he helped her assemble baby furniture. come on. Not much else to say other than i freaking love Lester Freamon ad Gus from the paper, Scott from the paper should have gotten shot, multiple times, and Perren and I find each other remarking "sheeeeeeeeeeeeeeit" a couple of times a day in conversation or commentary.

In other news, today is my day off #2, and it would be nice if there were something going on in the blogging community with which I could entertain myself.

hint to the hint.

picture game?

Perren returns this evening from a few days down in Truth or Consequences, NM where he has been working as an extra on a Jack Black/ Michael Cera/ David Cross comedy that takes place in biblical times, hence Perren is a hebrew "servant looking for work". Sounds like it's been very cool for him to take in the large scale happenings of a big budget hollywood picture, and he is also rather overwhelmed by the lack of acting talent needed for such a film, which I think is clear in nearly all a Hollywood comedy for the masses. We saw Be Kind, Rewind a couple of weeks ago. It was Ok but I expected to be laughing my ass off which I did not at any point. A nice story though, just not the humor I was hoping for, funniest thing was when I saw Gummo go by on their list of "sweded" films.

That's all. Perhaps I'll post again later today as I've got little else to do, and it's overcast :(

My Growing sadness...p

2008-04-02T14:03:00.004-04:00

*** I did my best to avoid spoilers of the wire 5, which is challenging, and I'm kind of resentful anyway since i was accidentally told what happens to Omar and accidentally read what happens to Chris***

... continues to grow as I progress past the midpoint of the wire season 5 and final. Yes, in large part because I know this is the end, but that's not it completely. I can watch it all over again , and have no doubts about this being the exact sort of show/film where one can potentially be missing all kinds of shit in many an episode, so watch overs are a definite. Another large part of my deep sadness results from what is happening on the show. Season 4 = heartbreaker. sooooo fucking sad. I think seas

on 5 may kill me. OK, not really, but my broken heart is being stepped upon, for sure, mostly by Marlo who I hope more than anything gets his head blown off, sometime soon. It's different, as season 4 was all about the shorties, as meatwad would say. Nothing too horrendous has befallen the young folks yet, it's all of the old heads who are finding themselves in all sorts of undesirable scenarios , and it's the younger generation, namely Marlo, who is simply a monster, responsible. It's really freaking sad too me. I really like these old guys. Even if they are all wrapped up in the game and perpetuating all that goes with it, they had a much more respectable way of handling things and to see them go down is well, such a downer. I tried to avoid any spoilers in describing my emotional plummet that is the wire, and believe i basically succeeded.

Here's the other element. this bitch right here:

I once loved me some McNulty. The boyish good looks, "poofy hair", and disregard for asshole authority figures and all other authority in general. Season 5 reveals McNulty to be less of the man I expected him to be, which was really not that much of an expectation as I've seen his Irish drunken whore-ness. It's not really the big moral shortcomings that have turned me anyway, it was a little something. His handling of the mentally ill homeless gentleman in I believe episode 5. Again I won't go into any spoilers on the plot, I will just say this. Any decent human being would have helped "Donald" eat his bread.

No one person can solve the problem of homelessness or cure the mentally ill with their good will but for fuck's sake, McNulty pick up the fucking bread and help the man who you're using to majorly help you, you dick.

I'm going to take a wild guess here that no one else, in the wire watching world, was as bothered by this scene as I. I am a weirdo, although most viewers probably found the whole scene/ plot of that part to be damn depressing. I don't know what it is, perhaps a culmination of McNulty's prickness from the rest of the season(s) thus far. But I wished I could reach into the screen slap him for his lack of decent human being- ness.

i heart the picture game.

2008-03-21T01:56:00.005-04:00

I seem to be stuck on hip hop lyrics. This one is a quannum family classic by an mc whom i believe only matt will know. However, this in no way takes away from the fun that I've had coming up with them. Medusa may also come thru here, and this is one of nasty nate's fave songs though he is not commited to the blogalish, probably b/c he can't read so good.

This one also may be a stretch , but i think it's pretty good. Do we allow outside comments? we should , in case any nftm peeps want in .

picture game

2008-03-19T23:48:00.005-04:00

A few pics

2008-03-13T16:27:00.002-04:00

from last weekend's blizzard, as seen on Mabel Ct.

Well, ok, only one picture because it is taking forever to upload them.
We depart for the Motherland next week, expect some pics and updates from the road!

FReedom

2008-03-02T13:30:00.002-05:00

Yesterday, I rode my bike from home to office for the first time. I'd scoped my route for the past few months, and more than once thought, no can do, due to the traffic and risk of my life. I don't know if New Mexico drivers have any sort of bad rap, outside of their own state -( i think it is actually the entire southwest that drives in this "wild wild west" manner)? There is certainly a horrendous DUI problem, with about every week an article in the paper on a different individual who's just been arrested for his (always seems to be a him) 12th, 15th, or 17th DUI. I mean, DAMN thats fucked.
ANyway, even when presumably sober, these fools pay NO MIND to what's on the road with them, lights, signs, etc. It is fucking scary - AND when they almost hit you, and i bet even when they do - YOU are somehow the asshole as made clear by the looks, middle fingers, etc. It's mind blowing at first and then you change your driving style, I've found.
To get to my oficina , one must brave st. francis drive on bicycle. not cool. However, I discovered there is plenty of sidewalk and parking lots to allow me to never have to be in the street. Now, cyclists are supposed to be in the street, it is protocol and allegedly safer (maybe for pedestrians). Santa Fe tries to be bike friendly but the roads here are so twisty and crazy and poorly taken care except around downtown, that there are still issues with roads and of course drivers.
My bike ride was fine, and fairly quick. It would be damn near ideal if crossing in the crosswal at st. francis didn't take 10 mins. - i kid you not, i sat for at least 8 mins. at this light. insane. On my ride home, some men at the bus stop had to step out of my way as i was cruisin on the s-walk, and they said "woah, you be careful there" as in - " woah bitch, are you crazy, walk or get a car". I thanked them for their concern, and said i would indeed proceed with caution. This leads to my thought of certain things, items that should just be free, for fucks sake.
1. bike helmets
2. healthy, clean drinking water
3. condoms, or some appropriate form of b.c., ie. dental dams, etc.
4. I think bikes should be free to those who want them, but no, that's pushing it, so scratch it, although in a perfect world we should all be biking/ riding horses/ skating to and from
5. education at every level
6. healthcare, of course, that actually treats and prevents disease

now, i know i'm jumping form the small and random to the large and obvious issues, what do you all think?
toilet paper? diapers? housing? books?
I leave you to add to the list.

old man bites tenderly

2008-02-28T14:05:00.002-05:00

I think the below video is hi-larious if

1. you realize that it is a japanese game show which takes place in an open library with patrons in it.
2. you have the audio on to hear the incessant man giggling.

also, if you watch the whole thing or most of it, the translations of the tasks to be performed are damn funny too.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=LdgdBOTUSqg

pics

2008-02-13T22:02:00.002-05:00

These Team blade photos should have been in prior post :

Team Blade!

2008-02-13T21:47:00.003-05:00

Skiing, sport of the chalky (white man). I tried snowboarding once last winter, it was fun, yet challenging, and i was sore as hell for 2-3 days. A couple of weeks ago, when I went up for the first time this winter, I was set on trying snow blades, something my friend Missy has mastered and promised was way easy and fun (we are team blade, as will be made official as soon as we get our custom sweatshirts made). Unfortunately, Ski santa fe no longer rents blades so i ended up on the shortest skis possible, and did pretty good.
Today, we returned to the slopes and rented me some blades on the way up.
I am tired as hell, and will likely be at least a little sore. Apparently, I am a natural as i fell a total of 4 times in 4 hours. Not bad.
Behold:

Perren aka Permen is not in any of these b/c he was camera man. WIll get some shots of him next time

Attention, Cleveland

2008-02-11T19:57:00.000-05:00

I know you are damn cold. 7 degrees for the past 2 days, I hear. Despite this, I thought you'd all like to know that according to Forbes, Cleveland is NOT among the top 10 most miserable cities in the U.S. Whaaaaaa?
That's right. Hard to believe especially when some of the top 10 do include NYC., Philly, L.A., Chicago, Charlotte NC and Providence RI and Stockton and Modesto , CA. Detroit and Flint Mi are the other two, both in the top 3 not surprising, many might expect cleveland to round out the top 3, but no sir.
The rankings are based on commute time, taxes, weather, unemployment and violent crime stats. Now that i think of it, no Baltimore either! Granted, I've spent no time there so have no idea but I'm always reading about how damn realistic the wire is.
Anyhow, Clevelanders should swell with some pride here, I think. Maybe have a par-tay. At the very least call some attention to this miraculous happening. Spread the word, what have you.
In the immortal words of fat boy drew carey, cleveland rocks.
I know it's February and you're all pissed off and depressed. That is because you need to visit a sunny place like santa fe where winter does not have any negative connotations, other that the mass exodus of any driving skill, what little there was to begin with , for all these cowboys in their monster trucks or tricked out hondas. Scary. But seriously, come visit. Don't worry about the bad drivers. We're insured.

Saturday, it's a saturday

2008-02-09T19:04:00.000-05:00

Waiting for the water to boil for my mac and cheese, thought I'd do a little post. Last night, I happened upon the Scientology south park episode on rerun. I had seen it before, and god damn is it as hilarious as i remembered. If you have not seen this gem, I strongly recommend you track it down. That one and the mormon one too. I sincerely love Trey Parker and Matt Stone. Hi-larity.
I had a few clients yesterday, before I was home channel surfing, the last one of these was an hour and a half with a kinda crazy, who I've mentioned to MedUSA. I like this client a lot, actually. I've decided to accept the fact that she takes fucking FOREVER to get off the table and emerge from the room once done. ANyway, last night I was addressing a pain in her foot and she said " WOW, that is so amazing. It's like as soon as you touched it, it doesn't hurt. Like Jesus, healing the masses or something (laughs). Maybe he was a massage therapist , and no one knows that".
So, I'm pretty sure I was just compared to Jesus, which I'm pretty sure has never happened before, in my life.
I'm off to enjoy my annie's mac and cheese. a la the son of god. peace out -

Volvo Sighting

2008-01-30T20:40:00.000-05:00

Well, we had to move down the controversial post, and let it be known it certainly was not meant to upset anyone. So, thought I'd give a little OC update. I was driving home tonight and decided to meander down W45, you know, for old time's sake. Well, I 'bout crashed into Porkchop when I saw a beat up yellow Volvo wagen parked right in front of the 1828! Is Ed back? Or just the Volvo? Or what? The lights were all on in the house, but I couldn't see in. It would be great if whoever is now living there would have a party so we could crash.

Anyway, obviously, not much going on here in the O.C.

"Audit"

2008-01-21T22:48:00.000-05:00

SO I totally jacked this from another blog, but felt I had to, as the never ending humor of scientology should amuse us all. those crazy fuckers.
These are questions asked to potential newbies in the "auditing" process, to see whether or not they are L Ron material.
enjoy.
Maybe I'll go thru and answer a few,,,

• Have you ever enslaved a population?
I've merely TRIED to

• Have you ever debased a nation's currency?

• Have you ever killed the wrong person?
by accident, does that count?

• Have you ever torn out someone's tongue?
by accident, does that count?

• Have you ever been a professional critic?

• Have you ever wiped out a family?
wtf?

• Have you ever tried to give sanity a bad name?
wtf?
• Have you ever consistently practiced sex in some unnatural fashion?

• Have you ever made a planet, or nation, radioactive?

• Have you ever made love to a dead body?

• Have you ever engaged in piracy?
No way! That is some crazy fucked up shit!

• Have you ever been a pimp?

• Have you ever eaten a human body?

• Have you ever disfigured a beautiful thing?

• Have you ever exterminated a species?

• Have you ever been a professional executioner?

• Have you given robots a bad name?

• Have you ever set a booby trap?

• Have you ever failed to rescue your leader?

• Have you driven anyone insane?

• Have you ever killed the wrong person?
didn't they already ask this one? FINE. maybe this one time.

• Is anybody looking for you?

• Have you ever set a poor example?
I can only hope so as I strive to, everyday

• Did you come to Earth for evil purposes?

• Are you in hiding?
duh. I live in new mexico

• Have you systematically set up mysteries?
what the hell does that mean? and yes, all the time.

• Have you ever made a practice of confusing people?
just really young children

• Have you ever philosophized when you should have acted instead?
I've never acted instead

• Have you ever gone crazy?
clearly this is a required YES for the induction

• Have you ever sought to persuade someone of your insanity?

• Have you ever deserted, or betrayed, a great leader?

• Have you ever smothered a baby?
hmmmm.. I've NEVER shaken one.

• Do you deserve to have any friends?
obviously not

• Have you ever castrated anyone?
in my mind

• Do you deserve to be enslaved?

• Is there any question on this list I had better not ask you again?

• Have you ever tried to make the physical universe less real?

• Have you ever zapped anyone?

• Have you ever had a body with a venereal disease? If so, did you spread it?

OC Progressive Dinner

2008-01-21T10:21:00.000-05:00

Some classic shots of our Mabel Court Dinner with special guests Roxanne and Bob:

Srinivas made a delicious stew and couscous

Helen, Roxanne, and Bob enjoy some apps and wine

Srinivas helps Aunt Helen open her selection

Special Reminder to OC'ers: Game Night is this Saturday at Merugu Mahal! Be There!