Yes, Finally, Part Three

Yes, I am that lazy. That's the question you were asking, right? I mean, its been a month since I last posted and I've no good excuse for not finishing. As one reader put it, its like I'm stuck in

the middle of labor!! I must finish!

8:00 a.m. Enter new mid-wife, Rachel. Overnight midwife Leslie doesn't even say goodbye. Hmm. Anyway, in retrospect, Rachel was the BEST person that could have ever been my midwife for the deliver of K, so it all worked out. She comes in, all bright eyed and actually excited about me having a baby. She's the only one in the room to be so happy. Husband looks unsure, unsettled, and tired. I don't know what to expect. She doesn't want to check me, because everyone is sure that I can't have progressed to much, blah blah blah. I let her know that I've been having contractions consistently, though thanks to the epidural, I am feeling no pain. Okay, she says, let's see how it looks.

And I about die when she tells me, "Wow! You are 10 cm! You are READY TO PUSH. NOW."

I look at her and reply, completely matter of factly: "No, I'm not."

"Oh, but you are! You are ready to PUSH!! Soooo exciting!" as she puts on her gown and motions for the nurse to come over and start setting things up.

"Um....wait a second," I stammer. "I'm really not ready for this! I think I need a little time."

"Okay, well, let's go! How do you want to start?"

So, with a frantic call into my mom from S to say, "I really hope you get here soon!", and then, it all begins. I push and push and push to no avail. "Let's take a break," says Rachel, and she bounces out of the room. At this point, in walks student nurse Katie, a young and very happy, perky, personable little creature. She comes over to me and tells me she is so very honored to be there because she has never seen a birth before! And she is so excited to share this moment with me! Apparently, before I got the epidural, I agreed to having a student nurse observe. Whatever, I think.

At some point, my mom and Silk join the room and its almost like a party! Around 10:00 I start pushing in earnest again, and I've got, like, every person in the room helping to hold a leg or an arm, or whatnot. I'm yelling with effort, and I believe I describe it like "trying to push a cruise ship out". I get frustrated that everyone can see the head, but they can't just reach in and pull him out. At some point, I notice a young jewish man, wearing one of those jewish hats, standing there watching, apparently he was an EMT student. Awesome.

I'm getting to the point where I think that this baby is just not going to come out and they are going to have to somehow get him out for me. Rachel looks me in the eye. "Listen up, Jess," she says. "You can do this. You and me, we are gonna get this baby out. He is ready to come out. You are ready to push him out. I need 2 good pushes and you'll be holding him. Are you ready?!" "NO!!!!!!!!!" I scream and with that, I push and push and then OH MY FUCKING GOD, there is baby K. And he is perfect. And everyone in the room is crying, even the jewish emt guy and my little student nurse Katie. Everyone is just overcome with emotion, it was an incredible moment.

The rest is just a blur. I will never forget the moment I first held him and realized that I had just actually, truly, really delivered a baby. My baby! It was an awesome, amazing moment. And that, my friends, is the loooooooooooooooong version of baby K's arrival into our world.

Recent Haps

Speaking of dreams, mine are out of control. This started when I started re reading SK's Bag of Bones, and I can't figure out if that is the reason or not. I'm thinking not because I am barely into the book and it is not very scary, though it does have that edge to it that most of his stories do. So maybe it is a factor. In a few of my dreams, death is the focus - not mine but people I know, and I guess the post death shock and grief process is more accurately the focus - maybe the book but certainly I have death on the mind, nothing new there. In one totally scary dream, I was chased through a house and into a bathroom where I slammed the door in the chasers face, and I fell back into a bathtub, and realized I had no pants on, and woke up.
I probably should have just kept that to myself, but there it is. In the final dream that I can remember, My front teeth had been knocked out and I was explaining this to Perren. I've heard that teeth dreams indicate money issues on the mind, which would be accurate.
Anyway, not at all what I am here to blog about. Here is some news from the new job : One of our Dr.s who I have not yet met b/c we are there on dif. days, woke up last weekend to approx. 40 protestors outside of his home in Cleve hts. He has 2 kids ages 4 and 6 who looked out the windows and thought there was a parade going on. I don't know how their parents explained it to them, but eventually the older one asked if Dad had done something wrong. Shittiest part of this experience for the doc was that when he called the po' to report the people, the po' responded with "yeah, we know they are there. we can't do anything about it" This has sparked all sorts of conversation and a lot of people seem sure that while there is a law in Cleve hts. against picketing there is an exception - literally a clause - when it comes to abortion. I find this hard to believe, and others were suggesting that the po' wont do anything about a residence being picketed if the picketers are on the sidewalk and tree lawn. EITHER WAY, I am sure that if 40 people gathered to protest something else, ANything else, the po' would have been all over it. This sucks, obviously, and b.c. the doctor was shaken and upset, people at work were concerned about losing him, recognizing that it would be totally reasonable for him to decide that it simply was not worth it, if his family is going to be fucked with like that. He has not indicated any such thing, but was upset as I am sure his wife was, and voiced is concerns about the fact that they walk their oldest to school in the morning. One of the nurses suggested a sprinkler system that soaks the tree lawn as the best way to avoid a repeat. He just couldn't believe that the po' did not give him a heads up to expect all that or to get his kids out of the house. This was part of the 40 days of protesting - pray to end abortion - and becasue we are half way through the 40 days (of nonsense, as my boss calls it) she went out in the middle of the day and purchase ice cream sundae fixings for the entire staff, it was amazing - anything you could think of to go on ice cream and LOTS of it. Ironically enough, I had just sat down with my huge salad for munch when the ice cream bar appeared. People started mocking me when I tried to focus on the salad so I said fuck it after about 5 bites and hooked my self up with the bomb sundae.
In more positive and exciting news from work, the marketing director asked me if I would be willing to be a model for an ad campaign they are getting ready to launch. My face will def. be on literature, possibly a couple of area buses and - if they get enough funding, maybe someday even a billboard. Fucking Fabulous. I can not remember exactly what the text says - something like My abortion, My decision, My story - lets start a conversation, something like that. The idea is not just a pro choice message but to encourage women to stop treating abortion like a super secret horrible deed that you never speak of once it's over. My first reaction when she asked me was that I've never had one, didn't want to be misrepresenting, but she said that is not what the text is saying and also that they were going to hire a model and that would be some random who would not necessarily have had one. So I said OK. I have long thought that this country is SORELY lacking in pro choice bill boards, - I've never even seen one and god knows how many pro life ones are plastered all over Ohio not to mention the South, - gag - so I will be super psyched if it gets to that level. May even finance it myself, I think Dr. J would like that. ANyway I will certainly show you all the final result post photo shoot which should be a riot. I don't know why, but I think it should be.
In other news I am going to buy a treadmill because I need a lot more exercise in my life and that has got to be the way to make it as easy and accessible as humanly possible. I mean, you can not have other people exercise for you, it just doesn't work that way.
I'm off to enjoy the lovely Fall Sunday
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